Tidal Forces on Planet Amaranthine

Tidal Forces on Planet Amarenthine

Mandelbulb 3D, Post Gamma Correction & Saturation

More box and more wave.  Originally I was going to process this piece more to the left, but when I saw the line through the center of it and seeing I’ve done something similar before, I decided to move off of center.

If you want to see what it looked like, the code is in the Special Instructions section of the IPTC info.

Updates and what not…

Entry 10/23/2014 06:01:47 AM – Mentat 770

So last night was the first night since I’ve been here that I had to shut the windows in the house.  I think it’s safe now to open a couple of windows as last night there was a hell of a lot of wind and rain.  Surprisingly also there was thunder & lightning.  It’s been a long while since we’ve had thunderstorms in the autumn.  And… Opening the windows right now, there’s still a hell of a lot of wind out there.  Sure it comes and it goes, but when it’s here it’s pretty damned gusty.  Hopefully it won’t be raining as it was last night and through the morning.  Because I don’t want to have to rush over here to shut the windows again.

I talked with my mother last night as she got home a bit later than I expected and during my usual exercise routine — namely the 2 mile (3.21 km) walk.  I saw the lights on in the house and no car in the driveway so I ventured up to make sure it wasn’t as worse as my imagination can be.  She was there, hobbling around the house.  She told me that the PICC line was removed and the clot that they found during yesterday’s visits and to the hospital were the cause of the clotting around the area of the PICC line in her arm…

She said she was fine and that tomorrow (today) I need to be over at around 8 AM so that we can get around to doing my favorite part of her fall cleaning spree:  ironing and hanging up the curtains around the house.  Yay….  fun times and all that.  At least I did the vacuuming yesterday while she was at her first appointment.  So that’s pretty much out of the way.   Well, until the Monster Child sheds himself another Chihuahua…  Or my mother sees a rogue lint ball rolling around the house and she thinks the whole house is positively filthy.  Whichever comes first.

[Last Edited: 10/23/2014 10:05:07 AM]

Getting over here for 8 in the morning and according to what she’s telling me, the punch biopsy (at least that’s what she calls it) that they were supposed to do to determine the mass in her right breast has been canceled because she’s currently on some sort of oral immunosuppressant that will interfere with the biopsy results.  So right now she’s woken up and going through the various calls to doctors, clinics and hospitals that she has appointments with to cancel and reschedule…  Heh, the funny part of this is that this is absolutely normal on my mother’s side of the family.  Routine doctor’s appointments until retirement and then it’s the metric shit-tons of them shortly after that for the gaggle of problems that crop up for being old.  And yes, this is something I definitely look forward to.  Joys, eh?

At least the good thing is that I don’t have to worry about starting the fall curtain change.  That’s going to wait until the weather and the wind calm down.  After all, it’s more than a little difficult to be cleaning the windows while we have strong gusts and the occasional rains.  And given that the NOAA reports severe wind advisories through to 11 PM, it looks like it’s going to be here for a while even if looking out the window at the moment it seems relatively calm.

Heh, sitting here at the moment she really hasn’t stopped.  The biopsy appointment got rescheduled again for the morning tomorrow (at a slightly respectable time) which means she’ll be there for a couple of hours.  Though during it her husband began working her nerves with his anger.  Of course the reason for his anger is because the man’s having problems processing all this scares with the blood clot, the endless batteries of visits and runs to the hospital,  the scare of the biopsy and the possibility the mass might be malignant.

In a way I’ve been fortunate.  On the one side I’ve spent a lot of time in and out of hospitals when I was a child and again later on after the car accident that such visits don’t always end in terrible news and worst case scenarios.  More often times than naught, the doctors and staff often approach things with the attitude of a worst case while trying to prove there’s nothing to worry about.  On the other side, having spent so much time in the mid-80s through mid-90s and watching so many of my friends and supporting friends with their lovers in the hospitals succumbing to complications to AIDS I’ve learned to simply accept and support with compassion, understanding and sometimes even just listening.   After all, what’s the point of anger, rage or frustration?  It’s not going to change the inevitability of the situation.   I believe that’s the closest to Divine Apathy that I can come.

So I reaffirmed with her the reason for his anger and frustration and told her I could have a word with him about this anger issue of this…  Of course,  she vehemently forbade knowing that my words would be more forceful than she would want.  And they would be rather forceful because of the unfinished business from almost a month ago.  But I’ll abide for a while longer as the rancor’s not bad — and I’ve found that I don’t obsess about it half as much as I might have more than 18 months ago.

And that’s about it for the time being.  I decided on posting this because of the potential for bomb dropping from yesterday’s entry.  Off to take care of things with my mother and getting the Monster Child for the morning walk.  Until the next time.

My Usual Disgust with the Entertainment Industry

Entry 10/22/2014 06:43:43 AM – Mentat 769

The interesting thing about starting the slow cooker the first thing in the morning is that there’s no casualties or catastrophes while I cook.  Everything gets down without too much mess, spill and most of all: bloodshed. I seem to take my time, get everything prepared and of course Moe loves it as he tends to run around the house more than getting up under me curious as to what it is I’m doing.  I did this last week when I made the Sausage Stew and while I only began shedding tears after cooking (because I did the stupid thing of rubbing my eyes after preparing and didn’t wash my hands), there again was no scares from Moe and no bloodshed.  All in all, I’m definitely going to keep to this schedule for the safety of it all.

This is going to be an early morning for me.  My mother’s off to the doctor’s early this morning and now I need to get ready to watch the Monster Child until she gets home.

Heh, I get my cuppa in this morning and instead of finding myself happy, chipper and percolated — I find myself crotchety, curmudgeonly and just brimming with vitriol.   I admit it’s because of the shows that I had been watching last night during quiet time with Moe in the crook of my arm.  I mean I know I went into the shows that I was watching fully knowing that they had an entertainment half-life…  Hell most of the shows that I’ve been watching have been touched by who I like to call the Abrams’ Ass-Licking Crack Monkeys:  Roberto Orci & Alex Kurtzman…  So really, I should know what I’m in for given my experience with them having their hand on shows like Alias, Fringe, Lost (though truth be told, I avoided that one like the plague because it just wasn’t my cuppa from start to finish)…  Yet here I am feeling like the older ‘man’ in the YouTube video EA in a Nutshell exclaiming “why does this keep happening?!”  I mean sure, on the one side it’s not as though I’ve actually invested the time; I binged on one, and the other I gave the first five episode to get a feeling of it.

Sitting here thinking about it, I can only attribute it to the shock to just how unoriginal the episodes turned out to be.  With Scorpion I now know what it feels like to be either a doctor or nurse watching shows like Bones or Grey’s Anatomy in that the medical jargon is just over-glorified technobabble.   In this case the whole part of the “enabled” or otherwise known as the ultra-intelligent…  Only problem with this is that the actors and the writers aren’t that intelligent and are trying too hard to work with the stereotypes of that intelligence.  Basically they’re the nerd kids that had always been picked on in the schoolyard and keep to that mentality even as adults.  That and they hobbled the characters way too much — leaving even the one with the ability to read people through body language and nuance — a bunch of dysfunctional messes that can only be held together by Walter O’Brien.  What’s so uninspiring about this is also that it’s supposed to be based on the true-life person Walter O’Brien leaving the show feeling like a fantasy world much like Temperance Brennan in Bones.

In The Blacklist nothing like getting slammed in the brains with a MacGuffin while watching the recent episode called The Front that comes right out of the J.J. Abrams play book from a 2001 episode of Alias.  400 year old manufactured virus that was created by opposing forces for germ warfare…  ugh, I couldn’t listen and watch anymore after that.  Hell, I’m giving up on the show after horrendously over-used plot device…

People wonder why I haven’t owned a television since 2004.  This is why.  It’s easier to watch it in binge without commercials and give up the show when it’s reached the end of its entertainment value.  Treat it like a mindless diversion when Moe has decided that I had been away from the house long enough and with the colder weather on it’s way in, sitting with me in quiet contentment.  Heh, I love my cat, though it’s not possible that I can do much else with him when he’s sitting in the crook of my arm between me and the keyboard.

On the other hand, I know that there are no original stories, plots or writing ideas left in the world,  yet why is it with television recycles and regurgitates them  faster than you can say, “*sigh* really?”  It raises the questions, 1. are producers that scared of taking chances?  and 2. are they truly the uninspired and unoriginal hacks that everyone in the entertainment industry accuse them of being?

I understand time constraints…  You’re running a series on network (or even cable) television that spans 22 – 26 episodes a season (year) hoping it to be some sort of breakaway hit that will last 5 – 7 seasons (and sometimes even more).   I know that there are also certain constraints about what can and can’t be shown on television (which I see is still eroding slowly) as well as the routine requirement for one (or more) PSA-like episodes…  But do these writers and producers need to stick to the same predictable plots and performing the same things over and over not entirely unlike the old travelling swindler selling snake oil to cure everything one ails from?

It makes me wonder whether or not certain cable television shows as well as the BBC have it right in that (other than perhaps soap operas), they cut down the the season to 8 – 13 episodes instead of the full year.  I’m not even going to waste my time trying to figure out or even offer advice or suggestions on how to handle all the schmoozing (or what I’m more prone to call ass-kissing or ass-licking depending on the veracity of it) that seems to go on within Hollywood.  I see enough of this in my local politics and there it needs to definitely stop.

Ultimately I know the only possible way of controlling such entertainment is to vote with my remote:  change the channel, stop watching it, sometimes even writing the network if necessary…  And while I’ve done that, it makes me misanthropic wondering how my peers and others that watch television can put up with watching such shite and call it entertaining?    I’m going to chalk it up to one of those mysteries of the universe I might never truly fathom (even if I sometimes understand).

In other news, I just received a call from my mother after her doctor’s visit and then the hospital for another mammogram and now she’s off to Miriam Hospital for some sort of emergency surgery because of a blood clot.  I didn’t ask the details, though I suspect it might have to do with the occasional swelling she had in her left arm from the PICC line.  So I wished her good luck and will check with her again later on after the surgery when she’s conscious and talking to find out the details.

And that’s about it for the time being.  As the Monster Child went out early, I’m sure that the excitement he’s currently demonstrating is because he’s both bored and the fact that he had gone out earlier than usual this morning.  I’m off for that, have lunch and continue to watch the dog.  Until the next time.

Undulation

Undulation

Mandelbulb 3D, Un-Retouched

And with a little box, I’ve added a whole lot of Amazing Wave and this is the result.  Welcome to a lot of warping and some weirder shading.  I thought about adding a little bit more shadow, but doing that would make the depths too dark.

Conflating

Conflating

Mandelbulb 3D, Un-Retouched

What can I say? A lot of the Mandelbulb users that I watch (on Deviant Art) love their globes, their columns, the feeling they infer as though you’re walking through a dark an mysterious cavern. Me? I love my boxes and cubes. Be they flying together in strange patterns (like this one), or set in a still life caught between moments.

The colours that I wanted to play with were difficult, garish, ostentatious… They made the boxes feel shadowless — or worse — unnatural. So the second choice of colours were chosen because they worked.

For the Love of a Foul Mood

Entry 10/10/2014 12:31:42 PM – Mentat 757

I have been in a hell of  a foul mood since this morning when I received a call from my mother informing me that the reason why she had been pulled into surgery yesterday morning.  It wasn’t about the fact that I hadn’t been told that the reason why there was surgery yesterday for the skin grafting that they had performed to thicken up her thin skin around the ankle area.  Seriously that was to be expected.  The thinning skin around her ankle since the accident has been an issue of contention since they put the pins and plate to hold together her ankle some months ago after the accident with the Monster Child.  What set it off this morning was in fact the news of her coming home maybe on Sunday and that for a while afterwards, she’s going to be laid up and have to keep off her foot and have it elevated while she’s healing.  What set me off is the fact that this is going to put me in a difficult position with her husband.  Now this is why…  Three weeks ago this Sunday there was an incident between he and I.

 


 

It started with going over my mother’s for dinner.

I went a little bit earlier than usual, partially because I know how my mother has been since breaking her ankle and she usually ran dinner a bit earlier because of it.  So when I was over there, while my mother was finishing her cooking (boiling potatoes for mashed potatoes), I watched a few of the subscription videos in advanced.  By the time we sat down I was sort of confused about Twitter and the fact that my ADD was acting up (thanks largely to the various aches and pains in the back of my head and sinuses as well as the cramps from whatever I ate two or three days ago).  So I was trying to do a quick scan of the messages and why I received a notification and who it was from…  And was about to give up the search as dinner was about to be served, when my mother’s husband starts asking how big a piece of pork.

It’s the same question week to week to week…  How big do you want?  And unless I’m ill, ate really big for lunch or queasy, I have settled for the same amount and the same size of any cut of meat — be it meatloaf, pork, beef roast — it’s bigger than my mother’s but smaller than his.  So I just said, “use your best judgment..  You know how big I usually have…”

He asked again, I said the same thing…

Then he gave me a sliver of a slice from the end of the roast as I was putting the phone to the side.   He had a smug look on his face like, ‘this is what you get for not answering the question I asked.’

I looked at him, then my mother and instead of allowing myself to be ruffled by it because he had the scowl going when I didn’t react the way he wanted, and said something about being an asshole and having my nose in my phone.  So with a little drama and putting my hands in the air said I was going home and would be by the next day.

I remember hearing noise about it, and the next thing I know the serving fork and then the carving knife came at me.  They both hit the chair at the table and fortunately for me: they both missed.

He followed me to the door, and while I’m now hazy as to what happened at that point, remember saying I didn’t want to hit him, but he hit me.  At the back door he hit me…

He hit like a girl.  Or rather not like someone with so many years of military experience in the Marines.  But that didn’t mean I was just going to stand there and take it either.  So, I struck back.  It was damned sloppy though…  I was in sandals and couldn’t get a good stand or counter, but at least self-defensive.  I pushed him to the garbage bin, with a light choke hold and as there was another sloppy scuffle where he was holding me by the collar for a long time, but after my mother intervention and my warning him that I was left-handed and that hand was free to strike, he let me go and I left the house.

 


 

In hindsight, my attitude in this — with or without ADD — was bound to happen.  If I’m asked the same thing over and over for course of at least two years and my patterns are clearly defined, I get tired of answering the same question or saying the same thing ad nausea.  In the past I would have really had an explosive moment because such painstaking banality used to drive me to utter distraction.  After all how many times can you ask, “how big a piece do you want?” and not catch a pattern to it without the normal cues (to the exception)?  Now, I simply ignore it or brush it off.

I told my mother the next day I would give him a week’s time to apologize for his act of violence.  I went on to tell her that if he simply screamed at me, I probably would’ve apologized for me actions; but the instant he hit me and threw things at me — he wouldn’t get any respect from me until that action was apologized for.  My mother told me that it would be a cold day (in hell) before he would ever apologize for what he did.  That convinced me right then and there and confirmed it at a week’s time when he didn’t seek me out to apologize for this act of violence he was a bully (at best) or an abuser (at worst).

Since then, my mother has done her best to keep the two of us apart.  She’s pretty much told me that dinners with her and her husband are a thing of the past.  When it came to laundry up until this week she and I would be going instead of putting me in the car with him (and doing it alone at the laundromat).

She’s told me that the reason why she’s holding off is that she wants it to be at the “right time”.  She’s told me that she’s afraid that he might hit her if I confronts him.  She has put me in the right difficult position of trying to make me promise I won’t confront him while she’s currently in the hospital.  While I didn’t actually promise, I did say that I would do my best not to confront him during this time.

The problem with me is that this has gone on for too long.  I’m not about to let go of it.  It’s built up rancour and more anger than what I’ve dealt with dealing with the two ex-douche nozzles I used to deal with in Olneyville.  I’ve been in one too many abusive relationships and I refuse to sit idly by while a bully thinks he can get away with hitting me Scot-free without repercussion or apology.  And it’s only a matter of time before our paths cross, and it’s not going to be pretty;  particularly when I happened to have perused his coupon for Cialis…  Yeah, excuse me…  you have anger and violence issues, the last thing anyone would be worrying about is whether or not they can keep their penis erect…  But that’s just me, right?

Anyway, that’s what’s really set me off…  Because between my mother might be coming home Sunday (and having to watch the dog), coupled with my pussy-footing around my mother’s husband, coupled with the difficulties that will crop up next week with the laundry and everything else…  I just think it would be easier for everyone (or perhaps needs to come to a head) by confronting it, instead of ignoring it like the Pink Elephant in the room.

Well, I’m going to wander for the time being.  Mail to check, dog to walk, and listening to something that should sooth the savage nerves.  Until the next time.

Brain Frames

Brain Frames

Mandelbulb 3D, Un-Retouched

This was just one of those morning that I said to myself, “let’s see how fast I can be being creative *and* get this distributed…  20 minutes from start to finish…  And it wasn’t even a speed creation.  It’s certainly better than then soapbox I’m intended to getting up on later on…

Song stuck in my head at the time of I opened the program:  Brainbug – Rain (Johnny Vicious Remix)

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