Home > Life or something like it > Entry 06/27/2005 09:01:22 PM – Mentat 171

Entry 06/27/2005 09:01:22 PM – Mentat 171

06/28/2005
Entry 06/27/2005 09:01:22 PM – Mentat 171
 
     T-minus zero…  D-Day…
    It’s a strange feeling to be sitting here and realizing that this is the last day that I socialize with other people on the internet.  But lord knows, it was the most rousing weekend in chat that I’ve had in a long time.  Seems that there was this newbie that had all his buttons in the right place, of which two of the chat’s bad-boys decided on having a go with him; making him stoop to such predictable levels that instead of fighting like a gay man — instead turned all basher, and ended up being kick-banned for a 24 hour time out.  It was hysterical the way that Scooter had done it.  And such an easy piece of work too.  Had me laughing for hours.  Then — when he swapped out to a different account and came back 12 hours later — his ranting and raving turned the channel into a chaotic mess; of which the ever so useless host Dragonlight_zz just allowed it to go on and on and until — until just about everyone was up in arms. 
     All I know is — after watching all this — and laughing until my sides ached, and I was tearing from the sights and the uproarious events, it made me almost wish that I could renege on the promise that I made and continued to stay online.  But alas — this is one of those sort of things, I really need to live by — given the fact that I spend entirely too much time sitting at home on the computer.  I really need to get out more.  I really need to make friends closer to home. 
 
     Looking back…  It has been a hell of an adventure.  Filled with wondrous people, and interesting debates.  Net-kooks the likes of which I had never imagined could possibly exist.  And people with more inspiration than I have within myself.  I have seen websites I could only wish that I could design…  Not to mention some websites that really shouldn’t have been designed at all (the Ray Bans™ can only do so much for the eyes before they’re totally useless to the color clashing going on with them). 
     And the people that I had called friends that had come and gone.  The Boulder…  The Trek Cabal… Individuals that have sparked my feelings of sympathies.  People I was strongly attracted to.  People that I had respected in ways that I don’t normally in real time.  And the people that I scorned and slapped down. 
 
     I had met three of my boyfriends online (sure, all of them were disasters, but hey, I was having disasters with boyfriends even before I had come online), and numerous men that I really wished that something more would come of the meeting.  And even to this day, I still miss at least one of them terribly. 
 
     And the arguments and debates that I had gotten into.  I had honed my ability to debate and verbally fence out here on the ‘Net.  To the point where people either feared what I was capable of, or respected it in a way that kept people distant from me.  Not that I had minded either method really as I haven’t ever been an easy person to deal with — even for the people that had been close to me and knew my tantrums and my emotional upheavals. 
 
     Am I going to miss it?  There will be aspects of it that I definitely will.  The wonder of meeting someone that surpasses my expectations, and actually shows a level of manner and intelligence that says, "I’m more than what I appear to be."  Of chatting with someone that can make me smile, and sometimes even laugh from their own shenanigans.  Of learning something about someone that has gone through something similar, and yet has come to an entirely different conclusion than I have.  Even of finding a fake online and exposing them for the sham that they are. 
 
     This place has been a comfort to the days when things have been totally out of hand.  It has been an old pair of shoes for me these last 16 or so years, that I had gotten used to putting on to run down the corridors of my mind.  But it’s time for me to find a new pair of shoes to wear to help me through what life throws at me, and what life has to offer. 
     I haven’t decided what I’m going to do with my Spaces and my @hotmail account.  According to the information that they had provided me — even if I were to cancel the account, it would stay in effect until the next billing cycle (October).  I may take advantage and use my access from work to post journal entries, just for the hell of it, until the account gets cancelled…  It’ll be a test of the e-mail capabilities of the Spaces Blog. 
 
     To all of the people that have been reading here.  Thanks for listening.  Perhaps one day I’ll meet all the people that did read this…   Until then…
 
     Peace, and long life…
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  1. Ed
    06/29/2005 at 2:18 am

    Well, I for one will miss you, Michael. Even though there were times that I’m sure you were frustrated with me and I can say the same with you, LOL, I will miss your humor and wit. And no, I’m not as crazy as you think I am. Anyway, keep in touch and maybe you’ll change your mind, or you won’t. Whatever you decide, just know that you are missed. Ed

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