Home > Life or something like it > Entry 07/06/2005 09:34:26 AM – Mentat 172

Entry 07/06/2005 09:34:26 AM – Mentat 172

Entry 07/06/2005 09:34:26 AM – Mentat 172
     Well, it’s been a week since I’ve signed off the net — or at least disappeared off the net from most of the usual haunts that I would normally go to.  And I have to admit that during the long weekend, I did in fact miss it quite a bit.  Especially given the fact that I could only play so much of Diablo II, and Starfleet Academy before it started boring me to tears.  Not to mention that I really wasn’t in the mood to sit there and write about the bullshit from last week — it was just too much unresolved shit, and not the kind of things I wanted to process while I had extra time off to relax from it. Of course, on the flipside, because I didn’t write about it, and I didn’t process it, I subsequently didn’t get the kind (or amount) of sleep I should have gotten.  In fact, I think that I got a combined amount of sleep someplace under 10 hours over three days.  Which was especially not pretty come Monday night/Tuesday morning which is when I got something like three hours or less of some pretty unrestive sleep.  Hell, there were times when I didn’t think I actually felt like I fell asleep at all. 
     At least last night I was able to put myself to bed relatively early and recover some of the sleep I didn’t get over the weekend.  Which is a good thing, given the fact that I have some issues that I need to address today.  But more on that in a little bit. 
     I’m not sure whether or not I mentioned this in any of the previous journal entries, but I had received a "bite" from someone in the Metro Atlanta area that had read and responded to my personal that I’ve had up on match.com for like, forever.  He had winked, as a compliment, I had winked back.  While I do find him handsome, I’m not entirely sure I actually find him attractive,  Of course, no sooner than I had winked at him, did he send me an e-mail with his phone number telling me to give him a call.  Errr, I’m not entirely sure I would want to deal with someone quite so forward like this; especially given the fact that his nick is "looknfunncute" or something along that line.  As I don’t feel fun, and I definitely don’t think of myself as cute.
     I keep holding off on calling him; partially because I feel self-conscious about it.  Mostly because I’m entirely too poor to try dating, and couldn’t even afford a trip to Starbuck’s to chat and have an iced coffee.  For the hell of it, I may just suck up my pride call, and ensure that whatever bad impression I can make, I will make.  It’s not as though I’ve had entirely smashing luck when it comes to dating men in Atlanta.  And that’s putting it mildly. 
     In other news around the homestead — it would appear that Holly still hasn’t gotten the clue that I don’t want to talk to her anymore.  She really should look into therapy before seriously thinking I’m going to talk to her.  In fact, I’m getting pretty annoyed with the amount of hang-ups and no messages I get when I’m at home.  Which means that I’m going to have to take this all in hand and tell her, if she continues on this merry path of calling and hanging up, that I will look into legal actions against her for crank calling. 
     My cat is continuing her refusing to eat her own food, however continues to have positively no problem eating any of my own food.  So, in order to supplement my giving her some of my food, I make sure she eats some of her own food — even  if that means that I have to force feed her a little bit at a time in order to get her to eat.  And let me tell you has she become a fussy old bitch as she’s been getting older.  I’ve been having a hell of a time trying to get her to eat sometimes — literally fighting her like a three year old child who doesn’t like the taste of peas and doesn’t want it in her mouth. 
     On the work-front however; there has been plenty of drama the last week.  Seems that the in-fighting between Keeya and myself doesn’t seem to be coming to an end any time in the near future.  Or at least until the transfer out from under her and into National Accounts under Nikki.  Take the day before the three-day weekend as an example of the ever continuing drama.  As usual — with it being the first of the month — instead of being more pro-active about renewing the logins for us, allowed them to once again lapse.  With it being the long weekend however, instead of an hour or two to get them re-established — it had instead taken half the day.  But not knowing this, as I had assumed that desktop support would be working as efficiently as it always has, I had a couple of hours worth of work that I could do instead of filing.  Namely — prepping the Supermarket contracts that were all shoved into folders and were generally a useless mess for the contracts department, and if they didn’t get it back up – I had EBT information I still had to sort through for contracts. 
     Did she allow me to do that sort of work?  Absolutely not — she felt the need to micromanage me and ensure that I wasn’t sitting around doing nothing…  Like I could bloody well sit around and do nothing given the amount of work that still needs to be done on the project.  Bossy as it was, she wanted to know precisely what I was doing, and when I was doing it.  When I was finished with this work that I had on my desk — she then ever so graciously (and I do say that with excessive sarcasm) decides to grant me access through her logins.  Of course, she gave me these logins almost three hours after she had gotten around to logging in Gwen (the other temp here). 
     However, the silly woman has fallen down to a new low in immaturity.  Instead of taking Gwen or me off to the side, she wrote out a note saying the following:
 …I’m leaving.  No one is to know, especially Michael.  If anyone asks, tell them that I’m filing…
     She had left this note rather indiscriminately on her desk, for which I had opportunistically scooped it up and put it in file at my desk.  She had also left at about 3:15’ish.  Want to wager that the woman’s going to attempt to pad her time the same way she had accused me of doing the day before my birthday? 
[Last Edited: 07/06/2005 08:03:58 PM]
     So, I’m home…  I’ve been thinking about whether or not I want to nark on her for the bullshit she had put me through back on the day before my birthday, or whether I should just bury it like a hatchet, as it’s coming near the end of the project and I can actually look forward to transferring out from under her authority or even her scrutiny.  It’s one of those tightrope walks of mine; on whether I should just allow it to go on until she flubs up and gets caught under her own stupidity, or if I should push it along just a little.  The last couple of times that I had reported it, it hadn’t gone exactly — as it had backfired on me in ways that I didn’t expect it.  (Sure one of them was because of my own cockiness — but that’s not entirely beside the point); but there’s just some shit that she’s pulling that’s just not right.
     Like later in the afternoon when I had stopped writing in my journal and seriously hankered down to working on the data entry of the contracts — Keeya comes flouncing over to drop off about two weeks worth of supermarket contracts that have been sitting at her desk for months.  It’s like she’s trying to avoid anything that could be work in order for her to appear to be doing something there.  Seriously — I would like to move on — but this holding back with all the work is really beginning to be a bore.  I’m not there to do her job.  I’m there to do a project that was too much for her. 
     Then there’s all the personal calls that she does.  And the gallivanting that she does around the building in order to look important…  *sigh* 
     It’s just the same old shit, day in and day out.   Ugh…  And I didn’t come home to think about it.  I came home to finish up on this entry…  To confront the other feelings and thoughts that I’ve been having. 
     I’ve been back to missing Will again…  And fighting impulses of heading to Greenville for a weekend to find him.  Sure, I can’t damn afford it at the moment.  Not in the least.  But it’s one of those things that I dream about now and again as I’m heading to work, or coming home for the night.  I miss him, horribly.  I miss the feeling I had when we used to chat and when we used. 
     And to make matter worse, I think about the weekend we had spent together, and want him to be here all the more.  This isn’t good.  Not in the least.  But I don’t know what to do about it, other than dream and wish. 
     Anyway — I’m going to cut out of here for the time being.  Until the next time. 
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