Home > Life or something like it > Entry 08/24/2005 02:07:16 PM – Mentat 186

Entry 08/24/2005 02:07:16 PM – Mentat 186

     I’ve been thinking about some of the phrases that I’ve heard and seen in type in the various chats that I go to, and can’t help but wonder what the motivations are behind them.  So, I’ve decided on talking a little about the ones that come readily to mind here…

     …I am being a realist…
     When it’s human nature to be hardest on one self — how can one be truly a realist?   I mean…  here I am sitting in Men4Men on MSN watching Jeff talk about being a realist about the size of his manhood, and it immediately has me flashing back to the conversation I had with Howie last week about the same thing.  And out of that conversation, I’ve been thinking about the manner which I use the word "realist" to describe myself.  While for the most part, I consider myself a realist, I unconsciously omit the use of the word in my mind and heart when trying to describe myself.   I had thought about it a while the other day when I got a sufficient night’s sleep, and realized it’s because when I try to describe myself to myself, I don’t consider myself a realist.  In fact, I admit readily to myself and to my closest friends that I’m quite hard on myself. 
     Although when I’m in a chat with someone that I’m only just acquainted with, I use the word realist because when it comes to the way the world operates, I often see the bad with the good, and weigh the two carefully and foresee rather accurately how things are going to turn one way or the other. 
     …What do you want to talk about?
     … Anything…
     I have always believed since the advent of the Internet becoming commonplace in many people’s lives (which would be around 1995 as that’s about when the flood of common-folk made their way to the ‘Net), that the common half-life of any kind of private conversation on IRC, Yahoo!, MSN Chat, or even the private chats of AOL’s AIM, and ICQ to be five minutes.  In that time, if the two people in private conversation couldn’t find any common ground, then the conversation is going to stall and die.  Yes, for all intent and purpose, if the two people aren’t incredibly extroverted, or incredibly persistent 99.9% of all non-sexual private messaging is doomed to failure. 
     But what will effectively bring the half-life down to less than two minutes is the answer to the above question.  In the hundreds of times I’ve asked that question, the individual on the other side of the PM/IM/Whisper window really doesn’t have a clue what the hell he’s asking for when he says the word Anything.  Anytime I have decided on a random conversation on this, they are instantly turned off by the subject matter (science fiction, fantasy, world news, politics, religion, psychology).  Then to make matters even more interesting, when you ask them what it is that they want to talk about, they have no bloody clue.
     Hello?!  Do I look like a mind-reader and can figure out what the hell they want to talk about?  No!  Mind-reading comes after knowing the person long enough to figure out how they think. 
     Subsequently — Howie said something along the lines of [I]…want to be able to talk about anything… which has a similar effect with me, given the fact that anything usually means that I have to figure out precisely what it is he wants to talk about in order to have a conversation about "anything".  Of course, it doesn’t help matters much when the anything I want to talk about is one’s feelings; and doing so makes him uncomfortable.   But that’s something I’m going to have to pursue sometime in the near future with him…
     … You look hot…
     There are two sides to this phrase.  The first side has to do with the most blatant; a fake picture on someone’s profile.  If people actually paid attention to the simple quality of the picture; at least 75% of the fake and poseurs would instantly be recognized as such.  Sure there are some that are rather difficult to spot — those that use other people’s pictures to fake what they look like.  But those can be spotted by those people that frequently make their way to the binaries groups in Usenet…  What I would call (and occasionally admit to) the Porn pros. 
     The other interpretation of the phrase is something more insidious and more common within the community.  That being able to actually accept the compliment without going out of one’s way to be totally self-depreciating to the point of almost being egotistically self-destructive about it.  It’s really rare for some men to actually accept the compliment by thanking the giver.  Most of the time, one form of comment or another is given trying to make the individual seem to have more issues than National Geographic or Reader’s Digest. 
     Yes, I know and readily admit, that I’m often one of those folk that don’t take the compliment well, and usually try to steer away from the compliment and its giver with either something totally self-depreciative or even something about it being nothing more than common knowledge.  But I’ve been realizing this as of late, and have been doing everything in my power to actually accept the compliments given — especially since they’re not quite as common as they used to be 20 years ago. 
     … You’re one old and ugly mo-fo…
     This is particularly funny given that 90% of the people that say that often don’t have profile pics of their own to back up what they believe to be beauty, beautiful, or attractive.  How can this possibly be construed as hurtful when there’s nothing to back up the shallowness of the individual saying it in question? 
     … Why R U so hateful, man?
     I have noticed that this question/comment most often times comes up with the 20-something crowd because they are the ones that have been most immersed into the politically correct mindset.  When they are confronted with something less than spectacularly positive, most of this mindset thinks one is "angry", or "bitter", or simply "hateful"… As someone once had for a quote, "sarcasm is a lost art on the ‘Net."  Too bad too — if people weren’t so uptight about what’s is and what isn’t hateful, they’d realize that someone’s being comedic in a manner they’re not used to. 

     Other than that — I got a full night’s sleep last night for the first time in about two weeks.  Of course, I had to sleep on the floor in order to get this full night’s sleep.  And I also had to cut out the caffeine that I routinely have sometime in the late afternoon in order to fall asleep.  Odd too, considering that most of the time when I have a late afternoon cup of coffee or iced tea — I can still normally fall asleep sometime after 10 PM.  Of course, as a consolation prize to getting something close to 10 hours of sleep had to do with my dreaming of not one ex-boyfriend but two of them. 
     In the first part of the dream, I was with Darin in the old apartment on Atwells Avenue in Providence, lying on the futon with him and talking about all the things that I had done in my life since the time we broke up 12 years ago.  Then, later in the dream, I got into a Nissan with Dan, who had been complaining about some of the things that he had done, and how much trouble his car had been — of which I did comment that he was still driving it.  God, just when I thought that I had stopped dreaming about Will, I’m now dreaming of Darin and Dan…  *sigh*
    Well, that’s about it for the time being.  Until the next time…
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