Home > Life or something like it > Entry 11/18/2005 11:39:06 AM – Mentat 203

Entry 11/18/2005 11:39:06 AM – Mentat 203

     …To continue
     Jeannie’s brother-in-law said that there’s a possibility that there was something else going on, and that I needed to unplug the computer for about 30 seconds.  Turns out that he was right…  Once it was unplugged and plugged back in — things were working correctly and that the BIOS check continued without problem.  According to Marty — the problem is that the RAID controller was still getting power, and because of that, it was still in a locked state.  When the power was cut for it — did the thing return to normal.  He said that this was perfectly normal for an AT/XT motherboard and chassis (which I have to admit that I haven’t used since the mid 90’s, and even then I had never experienced what he had described). 
     So the computer booted up, but things weren’t running right in the least.  As I was working with it to see what the problem was, I had problems with Windows constantly going through a reboot state as though it had some sort of virus.  In fact, when I checked out the Registry — there had been three different executables that I could only think were viruses.  When I got rid of them, and tried to load up AVG — AVG refused to load or even to properly install.  I also saw that there were two new toolbars which didn’t seem to be running correctly.  So I tried loading up Hijack This to see whether I could find out what they were.  Hijack This wouldn’t load either.  So, I renamed Hijack this to Cheaters (.exe) and tried loading it up.  Turns out that there were three BHOs that I didn’t recognize.  When I removed them — everything seemed to have run properly. 
     I had been able to get the computer up and running, in spite of the fact that I wanted to do a re-installation of Windows XP in order to correct the issue without having to go through all the steps.  But Marty didn’t want to do anything of the sort, as he thought that I would have to format the drive in the process.  He’s supposed to be coming over next week — and I’m going to grill him to see what he knows about XP and reinstallation procedures and how XP is different than 2000 and NT 4.0.  Personally I don’t think that he knows that XP has a reinstallation overlay which can fix several issues without having to do a complete format and/or wipe. 
     But anyway — I feel absolutely dreadful about all this…   It seems that everything I do or touch around this household either breaks down, falls apart, or creates some sort of embarrassment that people like Jeannie & Charlie wouldn’t normally suffer if I were here.   There have been several times yesterday during my overwhelming feeling of self-guilt and self-blame to simply pack up something and run the hell out of here, with nothing more than three dollars in my wallet and a dollar or so in change.  I even thought about doing it in the middle of the night; when they wouldn’t know I’d leave. 
     Somewhere, deep down inside — I think I’ve come to the conclusion doing something of the sort would be just plain wrong and that like many other times before — I would be doing nothing more than quitting and running like I’ve done quite often in my life. 
     But because of this nonsense — I’m seriously going to need to look into getting my own ISP connection and line to this computer, as there’s no way in Hell I’m going to have that sort of thing happen to me again.  Like it or not, but I’m intimately aware of my computer and precisely what I would need to do to get it up and running again.  I’m thinking that perhaps the next time we go out to make a run, I’ll look into an AOL trial disc and see what I can see with it — as the last one that I saw out at Wal*Mart had three months free.  The only problem is that I’m going to need to look into some sort of line  from this computer to a wall outlet on the second floor.  I thought that there was a line in the guest room, but when I went to look, I don’t recall seeing it the second time around. 
     And I just went to look after I had to go to the bathroom and realize that I must have been imagining it.  *shaking my head* I don’t know what to think of it…  I could’ve sworn I saw something of the sort in that room. 

     Anyway…  I was going to contemplate a little about my other issues, but given the way things came down yesterday; I’m in no mood to be self-inspective while working through scads and scads of guilt.  Every time I do, my journal entries almost always turn ugly, and self-destructive in tone.  I may write more when I get over this feeling of guilt.
     Until the next time…
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