Home > Life or something like it > Entry 01/04/2006 01:50:58 PM – Mentat 220

Entry 01/04/2006 01:50:58 PM – Mentat 220


     I’m rather tired of dealing with male pride…  Particularly when it comes to the game of courtship and the building of relationships.  Take for example the way things had unfolded between Jeff and myself on New Year’s Eve (as referenced in Entry 219).  I had received not an e-mail response from Jeff to the e-mail I had sent him regarding many of the issues I had addressed, but instead I got a prefabricated e-mail message that he decided on dropping in an Instant Message through Yahoo Messenger. 
     I admit that I only just scanned through the impromptu message by immediately forgiving him when he apologized, but also promised that when I got home from work, I would address the points that he made within that e-mail message.  When I got home from work — and read and re-read through some of the things that he said within that impromptu message, I wasn’t in the least bit happy with some of the things that he had said as they were clearly contrary to the manner he has been acting over the last couple of months — and had several points made in extremely poor taste. 

     The first point made was that the reason why he hadn’t been extremely romantic towards me in E-mails or even in chat is because it’s (and I paraphrase here), "…all just words on the screen…"  While I have confronted this attitude quite a lot (my ex used to have the same attitude about it) — why is it that when I had disappeared offline because I didn’t have access to the internet did he give everyone the impression that not only had we met in real time, but many of them had come to the conclusion that Jeff and I were an item?  
     Sure, I had said that it’s a possibility that people read way too deep into the meanings that he had put out there in the chat room, but at the same time from my experience with his flirting with me in the room — he’s extremely blatant about his interest and his desire towards me.  Which brings up the point about that — if it’s just words on a screen — why flirt and be so overt like this?  Isn’t that sort of setting up for others a clear interest in something more?  Doesn’t that also send the message to me of the same thing?  Or worse — that it’s nothing more than just another head game in the hopes of alienating another human being online? 
     Bad form number one, let me tell you. 


     The next thing that he did was address that I did have quite a few things to work on, in spite of the fact that I had admitted in the previous e-mail that I did.  This is bad form in that one doesn’t normally point out to a friend that they have these sort of problems in an e-mail or letter, and especially something one doesn’t do with someone they’re trying to court, because it sends the message that the person is entirely too critical for their own good and imposing their opinion where it’s already readily apparent to the person making the admissions.  "Beating a dead horse…" is the saying that comes to mind when someone does this sort of thing. 
     Bad form number two. 


     The final thing that pops readily to mind is his close up (and dismount) from this impromptu message stating that he likes the way I am, of which he’s thinking about, which seems to be misleading, but doesn’t seem quite sincere given that the beginning of the e-mail he’s saying that it’s nothing but "…words on a screen…"
     Bad form number three… 


     My response while being less than spectacular, does address several key questions that come readily to mind, and points indirectly to the plain and simple fact that the impromptu message he sent me was the wretched work of a man’s ego trying to sound like he’s the one doing the dumping in an effort of hiding either hurt, or disappointment or worst. 
     One of the first issues is in relation to my reaction to him telling me a couple of months ago, is what his nieces and nephews call him (q.v. "Uncle Wastie")…  While I had regretted bringing this point up in that journal/Blog entry several weeks ago — I’m no longer feeling quite so guilty about it today — especially given the fact that on New Year’s Eve, apparently Jeff had been doing quite some drinking for New Year’s Eve in spite of the fact that he should be doing nothing but recuperating and looking of pain relief naturally (rest, and relaxing, or homeopathy) or through a doctor’s supervision.  Alcohol is the last thing he should be doing after surgery.  Especially given that after hearing this, I did a little research and discovered that many doctors within the AMA believe there is a correlation between a ruptured appendix and excessive drinking. 
     The next is that how am I to believe anything he says to me, if the Internet is "…is nothing but eletrodes [sic]…" (his exact phrase.  Especially given the fact that he has accused me of being "real" (god, that buzzword still works my nerves even today, all because it’s been so over-used in the last few years).  While I have no issues with admitting that what I do on the Internet is what one gets in Real Time (especially with people whom I call friend, or boyfriend), it does set some pretty bad precedence with how Jeff considers himself, and his view of what’s "real" on the Internet. 


     Of course, my friends being what friends can be — are naturally being protective and telling me to simply wash my hands and moving on.  *smiling*  But more oftentimes than naught — friends often confuse my consternation on someone’s attitudes with my being hurt by that person — and are thinking of my best interests by protecting me so.  At least they understand where I’m coming from when I say, "I’m not hurt, and only slightly confused, but I want to understand why he’s doing what he’s doing," and they give me their best wishes in my investigations. 
     No doubt there will be more on this in the days to come…



     Work…  Yes, I’m back to working.  And it’s not as hard as I thought it was going to be.  But the problem that I’m having is all of the other legwork that I need to do in order to CYA through my commissions tracking for my payroll.  I think that the system could in fact be more streamlined and even better handled, but at the present time — the only thing that I can do is get used to the current system before suggesting improvements to what’s currently working. On Monday we had started with seven in this class, and yesterday we already had someone drop out.  Steve (the one that had dropped out) apparently came to the conclusion that it wasn’t for him, as he was more into HVAC work than telemarketing. 
     As for me — the only times I had apprehensions were during the certification test — of which I got high marks on the first attempt through the script (in fact, according to the information shared between my certifier — Brendan — and Jeff (the QA Manager who took 1/2 of the class for certification) — I was the only one that was able to get through the entire verbal test on the first attempt.  In fact, Brendan said that if I can maintain the tone and cadence as I did within the certification — I would most probably get pretty far.  Not to mention that the certification testing for this job is by far nothing like the certification testing that I got when I was working for PracticeWorks.  Can’t wait to see what they’re like when it comes to the QC/QA of phone calls. 
     Funny thing about the trainers…  Kevin whom we had for training the day before, while being concise was extremely reserved.  While he said that he wasn’t considered one of the charitable people within the company — is extremely knowledgeable about the job itself.  Because of this — he’s also the one that does the international training for the call centers in Pakistan and India. 
     Brendan on the other hand has an extremely infectious attitude, and quite comical about his competitiveness..  Particularly when he and I had a discussion of using ASP on the scripts within the Telephone Agent program that we had gotten ourselves familiar with last night.  I rather liked them both — if only for the fact that both of them were extremely easy to distract from the training curriculum. 
     At the moment, I’m really glad to be back to work.  And I’m sure as I get more comfortable, I’ll have more to talk about regarding this job. 


     Well, that’s about it for the time being.  I need to get ready, get dressed, have dinner, and head to work.  Until the next time.

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