Home > Life or something like it > Entry 10/08/2006 09:26:11 PM – Mentat 297

Entry 10/08/2006 09:26:11 PM – Mentat 297


     While I’ve gone through my third week of being unemployed, and slowly going into my fourth week, I think that I might be coming out of the blue funk that I had been feeling the last couple of weeks thanks to the change in seasons.  I admit that I haven’t been doing my best in trying to pull myself out of it — given that I’ve been sort of depressed over the fact that for a short time I had actually been visited by a muse — that visit didn’t last more than a couple of hours.  Sad when you think about it — sadder still that I’ve been searching desperately for one to help with writing, and being denied more than a brief respite.  

     Today though, when I was out with my Uncle and Aunt to go see King Richard’s Faire (I’ll get to that in a little bit), my uncle had asked me a questions during one of this moments between a yard of Killian’s.  He had asked me whether I was happy.  At first, I had said, "yes, for the most part, I am…"  naturally omitting the fact that for the last week and a half — all I’ve been doing is having dreams about men, and relationships, and super powers (god are those ever frustrating) that I’ve been having.  Naturally omitting my frustration at a conversation I had earlier in the week with John from Buzzen (http://www.buzzen.com) reinforcing the issue that I have about not wanting to date men significantly younger than me, and my issue of not trusting men more my age…  But the more that I thought about it through the course of the day, wandering among the thousands of folk in costume, or admiring the wares and the folk here — the more that I’ve come to realize that perhaps I didn’t tell a lie after all.  While I will readily admit that it would be nice to date — on the whole, I’m pretty damned happy with myself not to mention just a teensy bit satisfied that I’m not actually dating, or trying to get myself involved in anything serious or even light at the present time.  
     And then it hit me, while sitting there having to tune out the people by listening to my MP3 player, and having a bite to eat…  The muse had come back to visit me.  It wasn’t the same sort of muse that I’m used to having — one full of sound and fury and passion.  It’s a more subtle muse.  One that makes one feel good being with themselves and noticing things around them in just a way that’s not the usual.  That’s not quite so cynical or tainted with a realistic or pragmatic approach.  
     And I feel pretty damned good at the moment because of it, as I’m sitting here writing a journal entry about it…  

     As I said just a moment or two ago — I had gone to King Richard’s Faire with my Uncle and Aunt today in Carver.  I’ll try to post what little pictures that I had taken in the various blogs that support picture catalogs (that means, Facebook, MSN and Yahoo).  Unfortunately I didn’t take as many pictures as I wanted to, primarily because the folk that put the shows on would pose whenever a camera was pointed in their direction.  Not quite the sort of thing that I like — as I like catching the actors acting out their parts, oblivious to cameras and pictures being taken of them.  As for the amateurs; while some of them had done a damned good job with their outfits, many of them were just not picture-worthy enough.  Those that were though, I feared that they would be camera hams about pictures and avoided taking the chance.  

While some of the work that they had done impressive, I think they could’ve done a little bit more along the lines horsemanship, than they had done.  Sure I shouldn’t be expecting them to actually joust, but they had access to a blacksmith — they could have at least made somewhat believable shields, rather than those tin-plated works that they were sporting.  Yeah, I know, I’m more than a little bit spoiled when it comes to that, given that I’ve been involved in LARPs that actually know how to make properly use and own shields, armor, and some weaponry — even the practice stuff.  

     Uncle got a little sick.  Not entirely sure what the problem was…  He said he thinks it’s either a virus he got from Auntie (Norma)…  I think it’s a combination of the three yards of Killian’s he had and the greasy sausage and then the turkey stew in a bread bowl that did him in.  Hell — the hiccups should have been a clear sign that something was up — but it didn’t, and it eventually caught up with him by the time we had gotten back into Rhode Island.  If it’s a virus like he thinks it is — all I know is that if anyone’s going to be blamed for making other parts of the family sick — it’s not going to be me (grinning). 

     Let’s see…  My online conversations have been all over the place.  John…  Angel…  Nick…  Various clueless riff-raff on Yahoo, Buzzen, MSN, Gay.com.  Most of the clueless folk really don’t have any idea the amount of work they need to do in order to make a relationship work from online to real time, and those that do simply don’t have the staying power to actually get such a venture to bear any fruit.  God, I think the days of making an online romance actually work longer than a month, and definitely into real time are long since gone.  But, there’s one thing worth mentioning about it all…  Since I’m back to using YahElite I’ve gotten myself set up with about 10 phrases and words in the IM box that pops up.  Since creating them, there has been only one or two exceptions to using those rote answers, and those two exceptions I had to literally blast them for their ignorance to stop them from PM’ing me.  

     As for the friends I’ve talked with…  Well I think I’ll save it for tomorrow, as I’m going to call it a night.  Until then… 

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