Home > Life or something like it > Entry 12/25/2007 04:01:27 PM – Mentat 377

Entry 12/25/2007 04:01:27 PM – Mentat 377

     Christmas Day…  And I’ve survived the holiday with the relatives for the most part.  My cat’s a bit on the traumatized side; heh, she’s also a little on the abandoned side, but that’s not really surprising given that she’s not used to the family get-togethers as the ten years she’s been wandering the world with me, it’s either been just her and me.  Or she’s been left at home while I trounced out with the now ex to his ex in-laws for a Dalton Family Christmas (read: Redneckville from Hell).  Now that it’s just her and me, she’s acting through her routine abandonment issues wanting me to either pick her up and hold her, or spend time on my lap ’til she gets tired of it and wants to sit on her couch or hide someplace in the bed.  But that’s just the tip of the iceberg of everything else that’s been going on since the last time I’ve written. 
     Let’s see…  I got an ear-ache/ear infection because I had destroyed my headphones a couple of weeks ago because I had pulled on the wire one time too many, and ended up doing what I had with the last pair before them — wrecked their playback abilities down to only one side.  Should’ve bought the wireless ones like I should have, right?  So, because the headphones that I used had home had broken, I had used my earbuds for entirely too many hours than I should have, causing my right ear to get infected like it routinely does from not getting enough air, and not routinely disinfecting the earbuds between uses.  Right now this is about day five (or so) and it’s not a tenth as bad as it was when I had first gotten the infection/ache.  Annoying as it is though, I’m going to have to break down and get the cordless pair if only to make it easier to chat with D… 

     Then there’s the drama that unfolded during the week that involved my uncle’s Christmas Party at his house.  As I had said in the last entry I had been contemplating going to it, partially to put an end to the nonsense with him from the summer.  Partially because I had my continued curiosity for my cousin Adam’s wife that seems to have left most of my side of the family a sour taste in their mouth from her charming personality.  Halfway into the week when I got the earache I had contemplated about backing out if only because I won’t be in the right frame of mind to deal with the pain I was going through for the infection and dealing with the barbs and potential minefields I could be walking considering how my family operates. 
     On the Friday morning before, with me feeling a little better, but unsure of the want to go into this family get-together moderately healed, my aunt tells me that my uncle has declared that I’m not invited to the Christmas Party.  Moderately annoyed, and the decision made for me, I had decided to take a moderately prideful response and said that I wouldn’t be going if only because of the earache. 
     My aunt gets back from the party and she’s more than a little distraught about the party.  Apparently my uncle acted like a complete child at it, pretty much ignoring my aunt and uncle and my mother and her husband in favor of his son and daughter in-law. From what my aunt tells me, my mother’s husband was more than a little bit annoyed about the way my uncle had been acting and ignoring the lot of them in favor of his son. 
     I had told my aunt the Friday before that I was seriously considering writing an e-mail to my uncle because of the nonsense with him, and by the time she had come home from the party, she had pretty much given the blessing that I should definitely write this e-mail with the caveat to tell my uncle that he needs to keep his sisters out of his little outbursts and issues. 
     Then, I get a comment from my mother at the dinner table that the same uncle that had uninvited me had relayed through her to wish me a "Merry Christmas". 
     I eye rolled when she had said it and commented to her about his un-invitation, which she had shrugged and gave me the ever so knowing look of, "it’s your uncle…" 
     So, I’m sitting here seriously considering writing that e-mail and sending it out over the next couple of days before the New Year’s if only to remind my uncle of several things. That I am not his son for one, and that I shouldn’t be used as a surrogate because of the karma that he deals with his two sons and daughters…  That he’s not the next patriarch of this illustrious family, and since my grandmother’s passing away, no one in his generation or mine (as my brother is far from capable of running this family) are capable or should be assuming they can lead…  And that it’s long since time that the near sixty-year old that he is, needs to grow the hell up and stop acting like some spoiled brat that should expect the entire world to stop when he says so and when he wants things to go his way. 

     With all the goings on here on the home front, I find myself continuing to think about D and thank whatever karma, fate or whatever force in the universe brought him into my life.  In spite of the years of hellish torment I had gone through around the Christmas Season that I would go through at the hands of Rick, I find myself secretly enjoying D’s holiday spirit a lot more I lead on.  Hard not to really, given that he finds such joy this time of year.  I admit that once I’m away from my family again, I’ll probably be more apt to celebrate the holidays more, but until then — I’m going to keep my head low in case the usual nonsense comes out of nowhere — like my uncle’s childish bullshit. 
     But getting back to D…  I’m slowly unraveling the complexity of the feelings that I have for him, as he has for me, and it’s really beginning to make sense just how much we have in common as we are different.  Different in that Ying-Yang way that coming together creates a whole.  Two fighters, with hearts of nurturers.  Romantics…  Two together creating a safe space with trust, and communication.  One a poet, the other a story teller…  One seeing the world intellectually, the other emotionally. 
     I am looking forward to the day when he and I meet face to face…  If only to see if the energy and the exuberance the two of us feel in each other’s presence online will translate well into the real world. 

     Well, that’s about it for the time being.  Off to watch a couple of movies and eventually get some sleep.  That is, after spending time with D once he’s over going through his family get-together for the holidays. 
     Until the next time.
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