Home > Life or something like it > Entry 01/18/2008 11:40:25 AM – Mentat 382

Entry 01/18/2008 11:40:25 AM – Mentat 382

     Well, I’m beginning to catch a new pattern to my sleeping and my dream-states.  Apparently if I’m averaging out between 5 – 7 hours of sleep, I begin remembering more of my dreams, where when I’m sleeping in extended naps throughout the day — say 2 hours here and 4 hours there — I’m less likely to remember them.  But this doesn’t seem to apply to when I was Nightbreed where I could sleep 6 and 7 hours straight and not remember a blessed thing about any dreams that I had other than perhaps the more pleasant of them.  Take the other night for example. 
     I had a dream I was back in the military, and that with 4 other privates, I had left the post that I was assigned to because the duty assignment had completed, and my relief didn’t show up.  I had made the decision that something had to be wrong and that I should investigate, however by the time I got back to the barracks, the Staff Sergeant come busting into the door to royally ream the 4 of our out for abandoning our posts.  I had explained to the Sergeant the reasoning why I had done it, and that and that any and all responsibility for their actions as well as mine were my fault. 
     The Sergeant looked at me and explained that it wasn’t my fault, and that I shouldn’t take the blame, and that because I was OCS that I shouldn’t be too concerned about who’s responsibility it was. 
     What makes this particular dream so disturbing was first it has to do with my working on uploading a better read of the 3-part e-mail that I had written to Matty last year about my relationship with Tommy, and that this dream was a direct result of my editing Part One of the story and uploading it.  The second was the fact that in Basic and at AIT the Sergeants that I was serving under made it a point to tell me point blank that just because I was OCS material that they would be "go to hell" to treat me any differently than any of the other privates that I was in platoon with.  If anything, all the sergeants would assign me extra duty and go out of their way to ensure I had more than my fair share of assignments rather than lack of them. 

     The second dream was a fragment dream that sort of blended in from my being in the military and coming home from an extended away (wherever I was didn’t seem to matter, and it didn’t seem to really mesh in with my being in the military), and that when I got to the side yard of the house, I realized that the porch door was open, and sort of swinging in the wind.  Fearing that my house and been stolen from, I went through a very ransacked house to find that while it was torn upside down that everything was pretty much still there.
     That was, until I got into my office area and found that my CPU for the computer had been stolen.  Everything was still pretty much in place, but where the CPU was, I found an outdated box that looked sort of like a UPS in its place. 
     I was feeling pretty violated by that dream, and had a similar feeling of being violated when I woke up and for a good part of the morning as well. 

     I know I had a rather interesting dream last night, but at the moment of this entry, I can only vaguely remember having it, and maybe a fragment of a part of that dream, but that’s about it.  Maybe tonight, when I get calmed down and settled in, I’ll remember it.  Right now though?  *shrugs*  It’s a give or take. 

     Had an interesting conversation with my aunt the other day during my journal entry that it hadn’t remotely dawned on me to write about until I thought about it after I had closed out on my journal.  As I believe I’ve mentioned in previous journal entries (last year), my brother seems to have gotten it into his head that he thinks he should be the next "Patriarch" of the family as he tends to get his nose into the middle of things, and dictating to people in a tyrannical fashion what should and shouldn’t be done.  A couple of weeks ago, he had dictated to my aunt when my aunt and uncle had made the decision that they want me to move (because my uncle wants to make more money out of the apartment than I’m currently paying as well as feels more than a little jealous that of the closeness of my aunt and I) that they should just "…throw me out onto the streets…" and let me figure out what to do then. 
     Naturally my aunt and uncle didn’t listen to a word that he had said, and told me that they will support me in getting out without being thrown out. 
     My aunt in her weird and Samaritan way called my [former] step-father the other day to see how my [former] step-brother was doing after the gastric bypass surgery that he was supposed to go in for.  My step-father called back a couple of days later telling my aunt that the surgery had been cancelled because my step-brother is a smoker, and his doctor thought that the risk was entirely too high.  They then began chit-chatting about the family, which my aunt is more than happy about sharing those fact with him.
     For example, she told my step-father that her and my mother have finally buried the hatchet since my grandmother’s funeral back in June last year, and that while my aunt doesn’t wholly trust my mother, at least the two of them are on speaking terms again. 
     When he asked her about Jon, she said, "who?"  This of course prompted a slew of information exchange about Jon that my aunt was more than a little happy sharing with me.
     As I most assuredly mentioned before, Jon had come home last year for a while and ended up getting arrested for drunken/disorderly conduct when the police had shown up at my cousin’s house because Jon in his infinite pig-headedness, acted like a complete plastic-asshole one would expect from Hollywood. According to my step-father, that happy little trip last year had cost him something to the tune of $5,000 and had caused my step-father to pretty much wash his hands of Jon (like Pontius Pilate did Jesus Christ and the mob) until Jon "…cleaned up his act…"  My step-father further mused that Jon had cost him a total of around $20,000 for the various trips and whatnot back and forth from California. 
     Hearing that I just nodded at first, but the more that I thought about it, the more that I could see that not only could all of Jon’s trips to and from California could be fronted by my step-father, but also quite a few of the bills that Jon has accrued in the time that he had been living in California as well. 
     Wow! Was the only thing that I could say when I put 1 + 1 together.  And from there, I found a whole new reason to loathe the little leech.      Further, it seems to explain to my now that I look at it, why he wasn’t at all pressing about getting the $500 dollars he had gifted me for my financial woes back two years ago when I was living in Atlanta. 
     Now I know, some people here reading this would be giving Jon the benefit of the doubt that perhaps he did in fact become charitable, and even some people that I know in my life have said that to me.  But the fact of the matter is, I’ve come to realize in the years that I’ve known Jon, that Jon really hasn’t changed at all.  If it were his money, I guarantee you that he would be more than a tightwad about it and would have come back to hound me about paying it back.  After all, it was the way that he dealt with money whenever it passed hands between family, and what we were taught by our mother when it came to taking money or being given it.  However, when it comes him passing around other people’s money — he doesn’t press at all, which is why it would look as though he were being charitable… 
     I’m feeling rather smug about this, not to mention feeling as though I’ve got some new ammunition in dealing with the likes of him.  Particularly given that it would explain why he’s appeared to be such a big spender and successful, when he really hasn’t been.  Not to mention puts an interesting spin on how he got involved with his now ex-wife.
     Wow again…  I guess the fruit didn’t fall far from the tree that he hates so much… 

     In other news, I’ve decided on deleting my accounts at Friendster, and Hi-5.  Checking through my "who’s viewed me" at Friendster has pretty much confirmed to me that Friendster caters to the Asian Community more than anything else.  Hi-5, while I like the layout, I wasn’t particularly keen with the fact that I had a 10,000 character limit for Journal/Blog Entries.  I’m a long-winded person I admit, but I like having the freedom that I get from larger blog-sites.  I think that the next one on the chopping block might be Multiply, for while I like it’s ability to import from other blog sites, I’m not too keen on it’s networking capability…  I’ll probably make the decision on that one in the next couple of weeks or so. 

     Not too much else to talk about at the moment, and so I’m off to play a couple of games, and perhaps work on re-editing Part Two of the story that I have up on Fiction Press.  Perhaps even take a nap to make up for the lack of sleep that I didn’t get last night.  Once of course, I sit down and have my iced coffee. 
     Until the next time.
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