Home > Romance/Relationships > Entry 03/11/2008 02:48:03 PM – Mentat 394

Entry 03/11/2008 02:48:03 PM – Mentat 394

     Yesterday seems to be packed with nothing but various forms of drama…  First there’s D and the stuff that he had to deal with.  Then there’s a tiff between Keags and I based on a rather flippant remark that he had made during one of his rampages about some censorship in the news, and then of course there’s David and his continued involvement with D in private.  And to think when I woke up in the morning, I was pretty mellow and even looking forward to the day, in spite of the fact that I had a relatively low amount of priorities to go through for the day… 

     First off was D’s drama.  I should have known that it was going to be an omen when he had received a call from a friend asking whether or not he seen his first boyfriend as he was missing.  He had said no he hadn’t.  A couple of hours later, he got a call from the friend and that his first boyfriend had ended up in jail…  While the details of everything that he had discovered is not "…for the public’s consumption…"  I’ll say that he was damned disappointed and heartbroken about it.  I was pretty much there for moral support when he had finally gotten home, and was coping through the issues that he was feeling and dealing with.  If he talks about it — it’ll be in his journal/blog.  If not, then it’s simply not something that I’m privy to discuss with the public. 

     Then there’s Keags and his flippant attitude.  He was watching the news and was outraged about a hate crime that had occurred in California, and how much of the details as to the crime had been squelched.  I had taken it with a grain of salt, considering one of the sources where it was discussed (Ellen DeGeneres’ show: Ellen) which pretty much has most of the news that shown there sanitized for the middle-America viewing public.  In the local news it only involved that the boy that had been beaten to death was gay, and in other sources, nothing was mentioned about it. 
     Ellen DeGeneres for example doesn’t even talk much about her own sexuality on her own show. 
     I shrugged and said "Welcome to the black of the 21st century… Do you have any idea how long it took for gay and lesbian news to make it mainstream?"
     He got flip and said, "Whatever." 
     I backed away from it and told him that on that note, I would leave him alone. 
     I began thinking about his flip remark and was rather hurt by it at first, and then incensed by it the more that I thought about it, particularly when he had said "nobody cared" about reporting the news accurately. 
     To me it was extremely hypocritical of him to be saying that nobody cared and got flippant with me about what I had said given that the last time he and I had a discussion, Keags said that he going to be discrete about himself to the people that he met (and befriended) in California.  As a gay & lesbian rights activist for almost 20 years (of the 29 that I have been out), I believe that you cannot bitch or moan or complain about the inaccuracy of the news if you, yourself are essentially staying in the closet about your own identity. 
     It also pisses me off to no end, given that what he takes advantage of as a gay man in the 21st century, I had to work for and paid in blood for 20 years prior.  (For those of you that don’t know, I had taken a 2 x 4 to the back and two cinder blocks to my car by a bunch of queer-hating frat boys from a local college that saw me coming out of the Mira Bar one weekend night.  And at the time, the local police pretty much turned a blind eye to when I attempted to report it as there was pretty much no such thing as Hate Crimes in place). 
     I’m going to give myself a few more days to cool off and stay stealth considering if I see him, I’m going to read him the riot act given that if he wants to be enraged, as the previous generation activist that I was (and still am to an extent) I would be telling him that he has no right to outrage if he’s going to hide in a closet and allow others to pay the price for his silence from the closet.  That and that what he takes advantage of and enjoys, didn’t exist when I was his age. 

     Finally, in the "living vicariously through my boyfriend" D and his dealings with David, I have to say that when it comes to David’s actions, he’s got all the caring and all of the grace of a bull in a china shop.  Through no fault of D’s and apparently his computer going completely wonky — D had been made visible to the world when he had been invisible to everyone but Keags.  (Heh, D and I sort of take turns being the sort of surrogate father/older-brother for Keags, where I’m available during the day, and D’s available at night).  No sooner did D become visible, than David messaged him.  Within a minute or two according to D’s reactions. 
     All right… D befriended David about the same time I had befriended Andy (from Yahoo).  In the same amount of time — David’s messaged D every night, where Andy only messaged me once in the last week, and only then was because he had been invisible in MSN Messenger, and Pidgin added my comment to him as a pounce the next time he came online.  (It’s a quirk of Pidgin that I’ve been talking to the developers in the forum about, as AIM, and MSN work the same way as Yahoo Messenger when it comes to being Invisible… Hopefully it’ll be fixed by the next version). 
     So, within a minute of D’s computer wonkiness, there’s David messaging him asking what’s going on.  Now unlike the night before when D and David talked, this time ’round D told him flat out that his issues he wasn’t in the mood to discuss D’s issues with David.  Now instead of approaching the issues as a sympathetic ear, or a person with compassion, David’s comments were more along the lines of oblique and came across as fishing which caused more ire with D than its worth. 
     To further make the matters worse, when D confronted him on his approach, telling David eloquently and bluntly that it would be in David’s best interest to come right out with the issues and questions instead of approaching them as obliquely as David did, David used the word "Fine" twice giving D the impression that David was giving him attitude and the brush-off for D’s explanation instead of being open and honest in his approach. 
     After D told David that he would contact him when he was feeling better about it, and David got the hint and pissed off, D asked me whether or not he had been too harsh in his approach with David. 
     I told him no, and that based on what I heard in his voice and the word choices that D had used — if there would be any issues with David — it would be David’s issue and not D’s.  In our discussion, I discussed with D that David is most clearly a very headstrong and ego-centric man, which D had said that he was just as bad as well. 
     I told D it’s not the case, as D when he realizes that he’s in the wrong has the decency to apologize when he’s wrong, and after asking whether David apologized for trouncing D’s sensibilities last night or at all, D tells me David has yet to apologize for anything that he’s done. 

     *sighs* I’m liking this David less and less, and am about to confront the bint if he continues demonstrating the lack of manners that he’s showing in D’s direction.  While it’s not my right to tell D who he can and cannot be friends with — like it or not — David needs to realize that when he’s dealing with one part of a coupling, he’s dealing with not one person but two. 
     There will no doubt be more on this by the next entry. 

     Well, that’s it for the moment…  Off to play a game and perhaps wreck havoc someplace.  Until the next time.

Categories: Romance/Relationships
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