Home > Life or something like it > Entry 03/21/2008 10:58:59 AM – Mentat 396

Entry 03/21/2008 10:58:59 AM – Mentat 396

     More fun than a human should have in one day…  *sighs*
     Where do I begin with this journal entry?  It has been both quiet and unnerving all at the same time here at the Homestead.  And to make issues all that more complicated it would appear that I’m getting my annual tonsillitis, so late into the winter season.  Ugh.  Not happy about that given that I usually go through this at the beginning of the winter season, not at the end of it.  This means to the kids that usually deal with me that I’m going to be a bear, especially short-tempered, not wanting to deal with anyone, and avoiding any sort of nursing or well wishes that come my way.  At the moment — it hasn’t flared up yet as I’m currently in the pre stage (slightly scratchy throat, adenoids and tonsils bothering me) — but this probably means that I’m going to be avoiding everyone on Easter…  Heh, this might work out to my benefit, given that I despise doing anything for the holiday…
     Right now though, I’m sitting here listening to my iTunes in Party Shuffle-Mode, sucking on cough drops and pretty much waiting patiently for my coffee to chill so that I can have iced coffee instead of the usual warm stuff in the morning/early afternoon.  The Hellbeast on my lap because the ever-so sucky needy beasty has been at my feet crying for attention almost ten minutes straight.  Heh — I should’ve known considering last night she had come to bed entirely too late, and by the time she realized I had moved on to the bed and she couldn’t get under the covers as usual, she slept right up against me keeping me from moving (I was sleeping against the wall last night for some reason). 

     I had to go out this week to pick up a few necessities: cat food, a new container so that my coffee can chill in the fridge (the last one cracked because I had a habit of throwing it into the freezer after the coffee’s been poured into it and it cracked because of the extremes in temperatures), more Coffee, cough drops *eye roll*, the usual bathroom sundries, and the various foods with the aunt for the holiday this Sunday. 
     She’s asking for my help this holiday as my uncle’s still pretty much recuperating from the knee surgery last month…  By recuperating, I mean he’s soaking up the whole "I can’t do it…"  shtick in spite of the fact that he’s only doing what’s required of him to do for physical therapy, and the physical therapists have all told him, "sure you can, but just don’t overdo it."  Heh!  This morning he and the aunt had to go out early for outpatient therapy this morning (8:30 AM appointment) and my aunt was telling me that during the drive he had been complaining about the next appointment interfering with some sort of deaf bingo even in Cranston or Providence next week.  Said to her, "You and Michael have been going out all the time, and I want to go to the bingo…" 
     My aunt first gave me the blank look she gives when she’s overwhelmed with telling the story before she rolled her eyes at me and said, "whatever…" 
     *laughing*  Whatever indeed.  He’s been recuperating for the last month, and we only went out once a week during that time if only to pick up necessities and a couple of things for ’round the house.  It’s not as though she’s been making day trips to Providence or what have you.  But being the rather selfish man that he can be, he doesn’t see that.
     At least he’s well enough to put on a pair of pants, use the cane to get down the stairs, and drive without issues (his left leg was the one that was operated on), which means he’ll be able to get out more, and not be such a demanding pain in the ass around the house… 

     D continues to go through a particularly difficult time on his side of the world — with issues that are so similar to what I had gone through with Eric that it’s eerie.  It pains me to know what he’s got in store for him when dealing with some of what he’s going through, because there’s just so little that I can do for him other than be emotional support for him through the aches and pains that he has and will be experiencing.  Hopefully it’ll be enough… 
     Last night was what we could consider our first fight.  If by fight I mean that I had taken enough of an aggressive manner in type that could be construed as obdurate and oblique all at the same time and decided to call it a night.  While I admit to being slightly hurt by his aggression, when I had called it a night, I had realized that what he needed more than anything else was alone (or "me") time. 
     Of course, D construed it wrong, thinking that he had hurt me in some way and proceeded to go through the usual feelings of self-remorse and guilt that he had wronged the one that he loves in some way that he shouldn’t.  I tried to tell him that this wasn’t the case, and that if it were he and I in the same apartment, I would’ve probably dragged him down to the local gym so that he could beat up on a punching bag a little bit (to get out the aggression).  But lacking that — alone time would be best for the remainder of the night. 
     I told him that in the morning, I would be as right as rain and that the events from the night before wouldn’t have bothered me in the least…  Which they didn’t.  About the only feelings that I have that aren’t along the lines of optimistic have to do with my realizing that I should’ve read the signs a little bit better, and remembered from my own experience that as a fighter, sometimes alone time is required so that whatever frustration and unresolved feelings that one is going through is handled without taking it out unnecessarily on those loved ones around them. 
     Hopefully today when I see him, he’ll be feeling just a little bit better than he did the yesterday. 

     That’s about it for the time being.  Until the next time…
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