Home > Life or something like it > Entry 04/29/2008 11:56:38 AM – Mentat 406

Entry 04/29/2008 11:56:38 AM – Mentat 406

04/29/2008
     You know, I forgot to mention something that I happened between the last journal entries that sort of left a mark on me that I’m not really sure how to read. 
     A friend of my grandmother’s that has remained a close acquaintance to my aunt had stopped over last week to drop off my grandmother’s journals.  I had asked my aunt about this, and according to her, it was my grandmother’s friend’s intent to put something together from them in order to publish them into a book (of faith), as my grandmother’s journal is filled with segments of her life, and a lot of esoteric studies on Christianity, Faith, and my grandmother’s internal temperatures on issues and the various crises in my family.  Talking to my aunt, she had been adamantly against the thought of getting sections of these journals published, but when I asked her why, she wasn’t exactly clear on the reasons. 
     It was kind of cool and eerie, skimming a couple of the notebooks as I recall when I used to go see her and grandpa early in the morning, there she would be in her chair in her bedroom, reading or writing in them (when I was living on Dewey St).  I remember that she used to write in it early in ht morning, or sometime in the early evening (always after watching Murder, She Wrote — her favorite show). 
     While helping my aunt take the journals out of the bags that they had been brought in, I went digging through the dates of the journals, to find that she had started her journals about the same time I had started mine: 1978.  I had such a combination of feelings when I realized the coincidence of it.  I was surprised a little bit at the coincidence of it.  Curious as to whether it was a coincidence as I recall that around 1978; there had been some discussion of my want to journal/diary my life.  Regret that my journals from 1978 – 1992 had been destroyed in a flood at a friend’s house that had been keeping them for me because I had moved south to Atlanta in ’93.
     Back in ’78, I had talked with my grandmother about my interest in writing a journal of my life, and she had told me that it takes a dedication and a desire to talk about the things that go on in your life, from the mundane to the intense, and how they effect you from the day to day.  I decided I was going to make a go of it, and got hold of a 3-Subject Notebook from the CVS that had just been built at the Bellingham Plaza (where Warwick Shopper’s World/Zayre’s used to be) began my writings in it.  Sometime in ’78 there had been a bit of an issue about the content my journals as my mother had brought up a subject that I had been discussing in my journals brought to the table.  I remember vividly how betrayed I felt about it, as my mother had broken the sacredness of the privacy of my journals to bring it up at the table in front of not only her and my father, but my brother’s as well.  For the next three years that I wrote a my journal entries in code — Tolkien’s Elvish as provided in Ruth Noel’s book (http://www.antiqbook.com/boox/bookwo/044337.shtml).  I know that it pissed my mother off, as she wasn’t able to snoop through my journals to find out what was going on.  But the subject of my journal never came up at the supper table again.
     And knowing my mother, I’m sure that she had talked to my grandmother about my journals and the scandal that it had caused.  Which makes me wonder — did my grandmother start when we talked about it?  Or after the scandal my mother had caused?  Or was it just spontaneous same-think that my grandmother and I had that year?  Without my journals — I’ll never know. 

     Heh, sitting here now as I look back, I understand my mother’s logic, but I still don’t approve of the method that she brought it up at the supper table with my brother’s present.  Especially considering how Jon and I used to fight, and anything of this nature would be brought up in the next fight between the two of us (which I recall happened a couple of weeks later, as Jon is conniving like that).

     I don’t know what my feelings would be about the thought of my grandmother’s journals being published.  I guess that I’m going to need to read through some of the entries to see how I feel about it. 

     Exchanged text pages yesterday with D, as he had gone to the hardware tech that he told me he was going to go to.  Seems that his laptop’s gone seriously south — blown motherboard, maybe even a blown hard drive along with it.  I suspect that it has something to do with the power supply.  Talked to him later that night in a Skype-to-phone call where he tells me that through HP’s "wonderful" tech support — they had screwed up the fact that he had an extended warranty on the machine and that he also had drop/damage protection as well.  So, they waived everything, corrected the problem with the warranties.  Of course, it also means that he’ll be shipping the computer back to HP which means that he’s going to be pretty much computer-less for about a week to two weeks (they told him less time, but my experience with HP is that they take longer than they say they will). 
     Heh, this is going to be interesting for the two of us, as we’ve grown very used to chatting with each other the first thing D gets up in the morning, and the last thing before I head to bed.  While I can still Skype-to-phone him before I go to bed, the quality’s not quite the same as it is PC-to-PC.  But we’ll make do with what we have until he gets his machine back. 

     Let’s see…  My uncle whom I had been sort of avoiding the last couple of months since his psychotic moment last summer has been over today helping my aunt sort through the millions of family and friends of the family photos that my grandmother’s collected over the years.  Came in to see me and apologize for his behavior from last year.  He said to me that he knows that he can be a jerk sometimes (I corrected him and told him psychotic as that’s how he acted in August), and he continued to say that because I’ve got a ¼ of his blood in him, that he needed to be the bigger man about it. 
     I nodded and accepted his apology.  There had been more than a few things going on in my head at the time, I left all those thoughts there accepting things as is, and will bring them up when necessary in the future.
     So it’s about 14:32 at the moment and they’re still going through the millions of pictures that my grandmother’s collected over the years.  Took one of them to test my aunt’s scanner and see if it can handle the DPI levels and it looks like it can (although I didn’t do quite a good enough job with it, it’s sufficient for a first test anyway).  I’ve uploaded the test to my DA account which can be found here specifically –> http://mbaldelli.deviantart.com/art/My-Grandparents-Great-Grams-84255985.
     My aunt tells me that she’s got photos of me when I was much younger, and younger around here, which I might have a go with sometime in the near future.  We’ll see…  It all depends on how this family project goes. 

     That’s it for the time being.  I don’t want to talk much about the trailer trash of Yahoo, as this entry’s more about family and loved ones.  I’m off to check out how the picture sorting is going, pick up a couple of groceries, and chat with D a bit as he’s currently borrowing his mother’s computer to be online.  Until the next time.
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