Home > Jobs, Work, Career > Entry 07/23/2008 09:15:04 PM – Mentat 424

Entry 07/23/2008 09:15:04 PM – Mentat 424

07/24/2008
     I’ve got a little to write about since the last time I sat down and wrote.  I started an entry at the end of my work week last week, but the more that I think about it, the less I want to write about it.  Part of the reason is because even though I think it might have been put to rest because it’s been some days since and tempers have sufficiently cooled down since then…  At the same time I can’t help but feel that it’s going to stalk me and jump me when I get back to work on Thursday, given that one of them will be there when I show up on Thursday.  It’s just the kind of luck that I have sometimes, and the other times, it’s because my karma has a habit of jumping me so that I learn how not to completely freak out when the shit’s on everyone else, but I get retaliated for it… 
     Yeah, I know I’m being cryptic…  And I know better than I shouldn’t be.  So, what I’m going to do is grab it, and copy it in here to give you an idea.  Mind you this is a rough draft and I’ve almost chucked it out because of the information it contained. 


     I’ve really begun to hate the entire concept of rude awakenings.  I mean, we all have them, and that they usually happen because we go through life blithely assuming what we’re seeing is what we’re seeing.  What I don’t like about them is the fact that they feel as though they stalk me for some undisclosed amount of time before they pounce the living crap out of me.  What I’ve been seeing in the last week at work, is just one of those sort of things.  Of course, on top of it all, I was fighting through borderline sleep depravation as well.  Following is an excerpt of a draft of an e-mail that I was going to e-mail to management here regarding the issues that I had encountered the last couple of days:

     Over the last two weeks, I have encountered various epithets and slurs from “spic” to “porch monkeys” to “fag” as well as other slurs and epithets translated into Spanish and thrown out so casually and jocularly, that it left me amazed and shocked that these slurs were coming out of adults and professionals.  I had encountered the phrase “that’s so gay” on a couple of occasions when describing something that didn’t fit within the norm, and in one instance the use of someone being a “virgin” inarticulately dropped and directed at other co-workers, which had little to nothing to do with the casual conversation at-hand at that moment and had left me momentarily speechless.

     I had taken a couple of opportunities to broach the issue with these co-workers, attempting to explain the necessity for a level of etiquette and decorum that should be maintained in a call center environment, (e.g., the possibility of customers overhearing those disparaging comments or epithets while someone else is on the call, and even keeping profanity to a minimum), however, the response to this has been quite akin to a “Band of Brothers” where “…each of us needs to protect each other’s back…” and following that code of conduct approach often synonymous to gang mentality.
     I had even encountered during these conversations in the discouragement in using such racial epithets espousing that (paraphrasing) “…in constantly using them, these words will lose their power and original in their constant use….” As well as justify that “…minorities are tired of their own kind being offended because of the epithets…”And when these points failed  to dissuade the severity of the use of these slurs the next effort was to make a mockery of the issue stating that “…use of the word ‘the’ was offensive to me… please stop using the word ‘the’ or else I will have a fit…”
     The discussion had reached a horrible crescendo where trying to make the point by attempting to get me to agree to the absurdity to finding such epithets and slurs offensive, was squelched when it was stated that this approach is not the company’s stand on such issues.  By squelched, I mean that all further conversation was thereby dropped, with an oblique comment about “being squealed on” being thrown out, that I was “exactly like Dan…” and the remainder of the night I had faced silence and dropped avoided conversations from the remaining coworkers.



     What I was trying to work out after that was my gratitude of the way that D not only sympathized with what I was talking about, he had seriously condemned the shit that was being said to me, explaining that while he understood where they were coming from (the people that had said this were the same age as he is), at the same time knew that such attitudes anywhere else in the United States would get them shot. 
     The next couple of nights, I had really difficult times sleeping, and had several really stressful-like dreams and nightmares that woke me out of a sound sleep.  Fortunately for me on Sunday, working with someone more my age was certainly was refreshing enough for me to cool my anger and hair-trigger attitude toward the racism that I heard the previous two nights, and now that I’ve gotten to this side of my three days off, I’m sufficiently ready to deal with one of the two twinks when I get into work tomorrow night. 

     I think one of the biggest problems that I was having through this is that in the years that I’ve been living in the Southeast that sort of ignorance demonstrated that night last week involving the racial slurs and epithets was seriously and severely frowned upon.  When I made my way up to the northeast, and was staying in Pennsylvania this is the sort of backwoods and backwater crap I would expect from the uneducated and the rednecks there.  Never in my life did I imagine that it existed at the level I experienced at work last week. 

     I had an interesting dream last night.  I had an apartment of my own…  In the apartment complex on Wood Ave here in Woonsocket.  I was on the third floor, and that they had been working on the door to the place while I was out.  I remember that there was a porch door off the side of the building (which is impossible to have, given that the house was next to a two-story house when I was growing up).  I was coming back to the house because I was supposed to be getting together with Dan (my ex from years ago) for a trip to Boston or something.  But at the same time, I didn’t want to go on that trip with him alone, as I wanted D to come along with me.  In fact, while I was talking to Dan about it, I was also texting D to see if he was available for the trip. 
     Unfortunately I didn’t get any answer from D in the dream, as I woke up shortly after I realized I was having a hell of a time trying to type out the invitation to come along on that trip. 

     Well, that’s about it for the time being.  In spite of the fact that I’m relaxed and calmed, I still feel as though I’m prepping for trouble when I get into work tomorrow.  Sad huh?  I’m going to have a chat with D tonight as he’s not feeling well from what he ate the night before, before I head off and work a little on Apophysis…  Hopefully I’ll be able to produce something spectacular.  Until the next time.

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