Home > Life or something like it > Entry 09/21/2008 09:08:35 AM – Mentat 437

Entry 09/21/2008 09:08:35 AM – Mentat 437

     This is one of the things that I miss about living in the south… It’s September here and I’m coming up on the first day of autumn and the temperatures have dropped below 50 degrees F (10 C). In the South, I’d still be looking forward to summer-like weather with the evenings dropping down into the 60s (15.5 C) with the promise of it remaining around the same temperatures until the middle to end of October. *sighs* At the rate this is going here, I’m looking forward to the first frost being sometime in the next couple of weeks. And here I was finally getting used to the bike trip to and from work. Soon, it’ll be the routine walks to and from the bus stops.
     So, so wrong…
     Of course, since the change in the weather, while I’ve been sleeping heavier, unfortunately because mold and weed pollen are up (mainly ragweed and goldenrod), I wake up with my head and my sinuses all stopped up and it takes close to an hour for them to clear out. Heh, the other reason why I liked the south — no allergies to ragweed and goldenrod as they didn’t grow all that close to the metro-Atlanta area. But at least I’m not fighting with Mimosa Trees and Fire Ants… Or Carpenter Bees for that matter.

     Sleep wise, with the exclusion of one dream that ranked pretty much up there (and was included as an add-on to the last entry), however most of the dreams since have been weird, but pretty much calmed down since then. There are a couple of the routine elements that I’m used to having (aliens, conspiracy theories, sci-fi, etc), but for the most part aren’t really worth remembering longer than 5 minutes after waking up, and certainly not worth writing about. Although about the only thing that I need to note on is the fact that I’m finding myself less and less as the disembodied spectator and taking a more active role in my dreams.
     And for those of you that read and interpret dreams knows what that means. *grins*

     I’m sort of impacted by the news that I read over at the one and only blog that I’m subscribed to. Seems that he had started making the decision recently that it was time to end his online blogging; part of the reason was because he felt as though he had been rambling, partially because he felt like he was exploiting the situations for the reasons why he wrote.
     I found myself thinking about the time not too long ago where I had considered putting an end to my online blogging myself. Like Michael did in his, I felt like I was just rambling on and that people weren’t really reading anything that I was saying. Unlike Michael did though, I didn’t have access to an online counter as I didn’t set one up for my blog (I had set mine up on my Mindspring account so many years ago), and without access to number of hits I most assuredly felt like I was rambling.
     Then out of the blue, I had received an e-mail from someone whom I never talked to in my wanderings on the Internet, and haven’t heard from since that e-mail, but he told me that he would routinely check in to see how I was doing, and it gave him a feeling of validation that someone else had gone through similar problems as he was. It gave me a strange sense of pride, realizing that I was helping someone through my "ramblings". I had also found a sort of renewed desire to continue too.
     Since then though, I’ve continued blogging, occasionally receiving comments from some people about something I’ve said, or in one case the continued love story between D and I. Now I can also see the hits now on many of them (which comes up to a grand total of somewhere over the vicinity of 31,877 hits over 8 sites — and probably more given at least 3 of them don’t have counters) and at least 1 winning an award which has given me a good enough motivation to continuing on.

     And on that front with D… *takes a deep breath* it seems as though he’s swapped out one obsession with another. Since he’s been back from Idaho, he’s stopped playing on Furcadia, and instead has returned to his reading the various novels that he’s collected. While it’s good to pass the time when he’s at home, at the same time I’m more than a little concerned that he’s falling back into old habits now that he’s home and dealing with his disapproving father, and his over-controlling mother.
     He had an anxiety attack the other day (during my weekend) because he had accidentally forgotten to take his medications, and unlike the first time I had experienced his anxiety issues, this time he was infinitely easier to handle, and cognizant enough to get him to discuss his problems through. It’s interesting because one of the problems that he had during his attack was that because he had fallen asleep as quickly as he did, and I was more than a little annoyed over this — he thought the worst was going to come of it (that is, I was going to break up with him).
I got him to talk a little about it, and realized that we also had this in common — things seem to be going well — only to find out that it wasn’t and the break-up happens overnight.
     A couple of days later, I had thought about something else that he had said during the conversation about disappointing the people that have expectations for him, and decided on addressing the issues with him in an e-mail. I had also suggested to him to return to his blogs and try writing them out there — but it seems that the blogging bug that bit him at the beginning of our meeting, has finally passed — and he doesn’t want to write in it publicly anymore. So instead, I suggested to him to do what I’ve been doing since I was 17 and keep a private diary and work out some of the things that he wants to do with his life, what he wants from a relationship and so on, so that he can work out those things that are important to him and stand by them when he finds his family "disappointed" with him. We’ll see how that goes…
     Of course, he’s been whammied like I’ve been with cluster headaches from his allergies (cedar and juniper in his area) coupled with a pretty bad ear infection, so he’s been fighting off all sorts of health problems since his return. Hopefully he’ll shake that off before cold and flu season hits him up there and I’m sure with his low resistance will hit him pretty hard as well.

     Well, that’s about it for the time being. Off to torment my cat, as well as get tormented by some mondo-bizarro dream. Until the next time…

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