Home > Romance/Relationships > Entry 09/28/2008 08:41:58 AM – Mentat 438

Entry 09/28/2008 08:41:58 AM – Mentat 438

09/28/2008
     It looks as though the tropical storm that had been coming up the coast has been upgraded to a hurricane. While it doesn’t look as though it’s going to make landfall anywhere near the southern part of New England, it does look like it’s going to be dropping off quite a lot of rain in the Biggest Little for a few more days. It’s been raining since I started my work week this week, and looks as though it’s going to continue for about a day or two after Kyle makes landfall around Maine and Nova Scotia… Heh, and here I was hoping that it would make it’s way closer to Southern New England, so that I can say that I’ve survived though 8 Hurricanes and Tropical Storms.
     Fortunately for me I haven’t heard from the usual doomsayers in the family aren’t telling me that it’s further proof of "global warming" or the end of the world as we know it. But then again I haven’t been dealing much with one of them given that my hours make it difficult for him to get hold of me to tell me about the end of the world.

     I’m not sure whether or not I mentioned it, but my brother has finally headed back to the left coast after his somewhat extended stay here in Rhode Island. According to my aunt the reason why he had been here was for some sort of "job" that he had in Boston, although I’m rather dubious of what she had told me; mostly because Jon rarely if ever tells the whole truth as to why he’s anywhere. While he might not actually lie, an omission of the truth is considered lying in my book.
     Seems that there was some sort of scene with my brother and mother at my aunt’s place where my brother had an axe to grind about how my mother embezzled money from my father and almost put him into the poor house. This antic had my aunt in a tizzy about it, although Jon didn’t get the reaction from my mother as he had been hoping; with my mother simply sitting there not giving him any reaction to it whatsoever.
     My aunt was still talking about it about a week later, which I tried to explain to her some of the reasons why my brother acts the way that he does. Yes he has an axe to grind, but as I told her Jon doesn’t have an idea on why he has an axe to grind. From my perspective Jon thinks that he didn’t get the kind of childhood and the kind of thing he thinks he deserved. What he doesn’t realize is that he got significantly more than I got once I came out of the closet. Hell, he got at least two years of college paid for by my mother before he got our grandparents to pay for the college that he finally graduated for… And according to reliable sources, he never paid my grandparents back for those loans either.
     The other problem with Jon is that when it comes to the divorce and the crap that went on during the custody battles, he wasn’t old enough to grasp everything that went on. Couple this with the idyllic family life we often heard from our peers in school, and he rapidly thinks he deserves whatever he can swindle out of all of them… And by all I mean both of our biological parents as well as Charlie. And now that Charlie’s re-married to someone with money; he’s had no problems tapping that resource.
     Naturally all of this is lost on my aunt, given that my grandparents provided a more stable family and home life than Jon and I had. But that hasn’t stopped her from grinding her teeth as much as she has the last week since Jon went back to California. She had made comment about her grinding tonight on the way into work.

     Which brings me to the other person that seems to have physical manifestations of stress… D… Earlier this week he had gotten into a fight with his father which drove him out of the house until late at night. The next couple of nights he’s been going through stomach pains, cramps and vomiting, complete with lack of sleep because of it. At first, I thought that he had eaten something his mother made — his mother has a habit of cooking with milk products in spite of the fact that D’s become lactose intolerant in recent years — but as I was talking to him briefly last night during lunch, it had dawned on me that these stomach problems come almost immediately after he and his father had their fight.
     I’ve advised him to go to the light foods and broths for the next couple of days as well as try to write about everything that he’s holding in, given that holding it in makes him react physically the way that he’s been. He tells me that he’s been writing about it, and while it’s a start, I think he needs to talk more about it instead. But one thing at a time…

     Now that I’m coming up on the end of my probation period, I’ve been considering making a 4-day trip to the left coast once again to meet up with D. Made mention of this to him and he was like a doe caught in the headlights about it. *eye roll* It’s not as though I’m going out there to meet the family and get their blessing, I’m going out there to see him. Of course, the other thing that’s got him all "doe in the headlights" is the fact that we’re coming up on our first year anniversary and he already knows my belief on ‘a year and a day’.
     The thing about ‘a year and a day’ is to see whether the relationship will work out, and whether it should be continued. ‘A year and a day’ is the Wicca practice of lessons and mastery of the basic elements within Wicca. I had picked it up and incorporated it along the way as a means of seeing whether the relationship will work out and last. It’s also the milestone when I would seriously consider bonding/hand-fasting with a man. Although D doesn’t realize that it’s only the milestone for the event, it doesn’t mean that I’m going to actually say, "all right, tomorrow I want to get married." *laughing* It may have been that quick when I met Darin (three days from the day that I met him at Gerardo’s so many years ago), it doesn’t mean that at my age I’m going to rush out and start a commitment ceremony with him in the same way.
     The funny thing about the commitment and his fear of it… We’ve known each other this long, we’ve been monogamous, we’ve been committed to each other… Yet the instant the word commitment comes up is when he freaks out about it. Leave it as is, and we have all the elements of a committed relationship, without the word ever coming up. So the only thing that I can conclude is that it’s some left over from the way things turned out as badly as they did between him and his ex-girlfriend.
     Something, no doubt he’s going to need to face as this continues on.

     Work goes well for the most part. One of the "happy" duo here is off on vacation for a couple of weeks, so things have calmed down considerably at night. Of course, on the flip side, because of the weather and the rains I admit that my heart hasn’t been where it should be for the job, which means because my head’s filled with other thoughts and other distractions, I’m not paying attention to my job like I should be. Not a good combination in a tech support/outside support job. I’m trying to button down on that pronto, believe me.

     Well, that’s about it for the time being. Until the next time.
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Categories: Romance/Relationships
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