Home > Life or something like it > Entry 10/22/2008 12:25:45 AM – Mentat 445

Entry 10/22/2008 12:25:45 AM – Mentat 445

10/22/2008
     So I’m having another creative moment, as I’m sitting here watching between the timer on Apo as it’s ticking down to nil as it works on a fractal that I like more for the colors than the design, and the chat in gay.com slowly come to a grinding halt, and I’m thinking a little about the dreams that I had the night before.  Well, not so much thinking about them, as trying to remember the gist of them beyond the small fragments that I can recall.  I guess I’m glad that I don’t remember them, given that the elements in them left me somewhat bothered when I woke up this morning.  Which is par for the course, given that my unconscious world is a hell of a lot more surreal than my conscious. 
     I’m not liking this new Apo.  This particular fractal should only take somewhere in the vicinity of 45 minutes, but what’s happening is that it’s set to an 1:15.  Yet, it doesn’t seem to be ticking down any and seems to be taking less memory processing, in spite of the fact that I had it set to maximum.  I’ll try an easier fractal next time to get the feeling of the time vs. memory and see whether it’s some new setting, or just a quirk of the new beta.

     I’m rather surprised that given that I cut out coffee yesterday because I had been a total slack, that I didn’t wake up with the beginnings of caffeine withdrawal.  Sure, my sinuses were blocked up, but I think that was more from the death throes of summer than from the lack of caffeine in my system.  Heh, I didn’t want to risk the chances of going through caffeine withdrawal today, so once I finished washing up and getting dressed, I made my morning coffee as quickly as possible.  So, here I sit, sinuses cleared, the telltale signs of a headache (mainly from sinuses) only a shadow in the back of my head, with the cat on her couch, leaving me alone after two failed attempts to sit on my lap and drool onto my forearm.
     Yeah, she’s going to want to sit on my lap more that it’s getting colder, I can tell.  Unfortunately though, the older she gets, the more likely she’s going to drool on me, which means I’m going to need to keep a towel or dishtowel on hand for when the faucet turns on with her. 

     Heh, and in other news, I’ve finished FFVII in record time.  In fact, the amount of time that it took me to finish the game, is exactly the same amount of time it took me to leave Midgard the very first time I had played the game: 9 hours.  Sure, I cheated like a mo-fo through the thing, but you know what?  I wasn’t in the mood to get my ass served to me on a plate while I tried to beat the two WEAPONs that were added to the American Version.  The next time I cut through it though, I guarantee I’m not going to be cheating my way through to the ending.  *grinning*  I’m not sure which game I want to go back to playing now that I finished this.  Perhaps I should do the Half-Life/Half-Life2 ensemble…  Although I know that when I get off-world in the first one, I’m going to be seriously pissed off on the sheer stupidity and insanity of the other-world.  Well that and the fact that fighting the end boss-creature just doesn’t make any sense to me whatsoever.  Although I do look forward to watching the army men/green berets/special forces running and screaming "grenade" when I get all sadistic on their asses.  *grinning evilly* 
     It certainly passes the time. 

     In other news…  The notebook’s been processed and shipped, although I didn’t get any e-mail confirming the shipment or the tracking information, but I think that I’m going get it sometime tomorrow or the next day once the package is actually in UPS’ shipping system.  Which means that it’ll either be here on Friday or Monday (depending on when it actually did ship).  Would like it quickly if only to get a feeling of the size and weight of it, but it would be more prudent for me to have it on the weekend, so I can load the bloody thing up with all the programs I need to load up on it.  Shit!  Which also means that I’m going to need to look into router as well so that I can share the CD-ROM drive on the desktop, or push everything to the removable drive so that I can copy it and install locally on the laptop.  *eye roll* it’s going to be work no matter how I look at it. 

[Last edited: 10/22/2008 02:16:08 AM]

     *sighs*  I continue to be lethargic and procrastinating on dealing with the internal issues that I’ve got going with the direction in my life.  I chatted a little with someone in the Boston area that had lost his boyfriend recently (he said publicly that he’s burying his boyfriend this Friday), and became acutely self-conscious of the non-direction that I’ve had going on in my life. 
     "Everything’s going to change," D said to me a couple of weeks ago. 
     Compared to what this one in the Boston area said in open channel, D really doesn’t have any idea.  Especially considering that it awoke within me the memories I had about burying a loved one. 
     Hell, I even tried to text D tonight to end this silence and self-imposed exile.  Sure it was a horribly passive-aggressive attempt, and all I got out of it was silence.  Not surprising really. 
     So by the end of this weekend, I’m going to make up my mind; and set my heart to that decision.  As I’m tired of my own lethargy and tired of feeling entropic. 
     It’s been long since time I should act, and not wait. 

     Well, the final verdict is, the first Apo Fractal that I created was zoomed in a bit, which was why it had taken so long.  The second was more along the time it should have been.  So it’s just me being impatient.  I’m going to keep working with it and see what I can produce. 

     Time for me to wander.  I think after one more fractal, I’m going to re-watch one of the movies I’ve got here.  It’ll pass the time, and I need to shut off my brain for a while.  Until the next time.
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