Home > Life or something like it > Entry 11/15/2008 11:57:22 PM – Mentat 453

Entry 11/15/2008 11:57:22 PM – Mentat 453

     All right, so I’m sitting here with the absolute loathing un-desire of not wanting to be at work at all.  I don’t know whether it’s the unusually warm weather, the fact that it’s wetter than a rainforest out there, or whether it’s because I’m sore from the walking and the exercise that I’ve been getting the last three days.  Or perhaps it’s even from all of the above…  But here I am, three hours into the shift and like, "gods below, I don’t want to be here even after happily getting an iced coffee on the way into work.  I’m still here though…  pfft.   At least it’s only one more day of work before my weekend.  Yippee, huh?

     I’m beginning to see there’s a definite pattern between the crazy and almost surreal dreams or the lack thereof…  It would seem if I walk the distance from work to the stop (and then home), I sleep more deeply and the dreams that I have can rarely be remembered when I wake up.  Like for example — I know I had a really bizarre dream last night, but six hours since waking up, I can’t remember anything of it — not even fragments of it.  Good thing too, given that I don’t need repeats of demons that had come visiting one dream I had last week because I happened to have seen Fauna in Pan’s Labyrinth.  Heh, and while I don’t remember the elements of the dream, I do remember the disturbed feelings I had from waking up from that particular dream.  At least this way I’m getting a bit more restful sleep even if I don’t feel I’ve been getting enough of it the last couple of days… 

     On the home-front, the two cats are really beginning to work my nerves though.  Mine seems to be hungry all the time (thanks mainly to the change in temperatures), and isn’t liking in the least that she’s only getting one can of food.  This means of course, that when I finally do crash for the night, there she is like white on rice sucking up to me in the hopes of getting more food than she’s getting.  She’s got plenty of dry though, as that bowl’s routinely kept full next to the wet.  But I think after almost 10 years of exclusively dry, she’s not much into just the dry…  Of course, it doesn’t help matters any that when I come home and check on my aunt’s cat that she’s there at the door, crying to come in.  The only problem with this is when I put down Tigger’s wet food, she’s thinking that it’s hers to have first.  At least I can shoo her out of the pantry and ultimately back to her food when this happens. 
     My aunt’s cat Tigger on the other hand has seriously been tearing up the house in boredom when I’m at work, and when I get up is run to the porch’s sliding door in the desperate hopes of going out for a couple of moments before I rush out of the house.  Last night, I had a little time, and allowed him to go out on the porch, but when I was ready to go, he absolutely refused to come back in the house.  Seems 20 minutes wasn’t enough time according to him to stay out and watch for activity in the backyard.  So it was a 5 minute fight to get his butt back into the house so I could leave. 
     This morning when I got home from work, he had moved his food bowls from the pantry halfway into the kitchen, with the dry food bowl practically under the kitchen table.  He had also knocked off several of the boxes on top of the fridge to the floor (the dry cereal) and even the sterling angel that was on a clip on the side of the fridge door.  Heh, I can now understand why my aunt sometimes has to holler at him to stop or calm down.  At least they’ll be home middle of next week which means she can deal with the pain in the ass that he is.  Hopefully he won’t trash the house any more than he already has.  *crossing fingers*

     Oh, I forgot to include that I had an interesting thought while I was working on my last journal entry.  As I’ve said someplace in the last couple of entries, I’ve been thinking of writing the continuation to Companion that I have up on Fiction Press.  During writing the last entry, I had this side-thought, come sort of brainstorm that perhaps for the continuation I should write it from Michael’s point of view, rather than from Vincent’s.  The reason for this has to do with the ending of Companion and how many people had problems catching the subtlety of what had happened.  Although it’s a good idea, I’m still having a problem executing the story at the moment, given that I haven’t been able to come in contact with the muse that I’d use to write with.  Hopefully as things begin to slow down for the holiday season I’ll be able to find it. 

     I think I’ll write more in a little bit; right now though I think I want to work through Robokill for a while.  I need to vent through my frustration.  Until later perhaps. 

[Last Edited: 11/16/2008 02:33:43 AM]

     All right, I’m back after lunch and while not feeling quite as cranky as I was before it, still sort of feel the effects of that crankiness.  I’m getting the impression that the reason has to do with the lack of appreciable sleep my brain thinks I didn’t get last night.  Not really sure why given that I slept for the exact same amount of time that I usually do (6 1/2 – 7 hours of sleep).  It’s either that or has to do with the fact that I’m probably sore as all get out of town and feeling particularly bloated at the moment. *shrugging* Hopefully this will pass come tonight when I get a little bit more sleep. 

     I checked through the Providence Phoenix for personals, and it shouldn’t be entirely surprising to me that a majority of the people running them area actually from the MA area.  But at the same time, the couple of people that I did see from the Providence area I also see in gay.com, which don’t particularly strike me as the kind of folk that either I’d have a chance to date, or wouldn’t want to date to begin with.  Seems rather harsh and judgmental I know, but at the same time also is pretty succinct and to the point.  I’ll try to pick up a Providence Phoenix the next time I’m out and about, if only to see whether the people actually running one in the paper are significantly more than the ones that I see online.  It’s either that or I start looking into the online services and see what there is to offer there.  Seriously though, given what I’ve seen between gay.com and the Providence Phoenix, it would appear that more than a commute is going to be in order — like to the Metro-Boston area or some such.  Not quite what I want to do, believe me. 
     Although on same side of the issue, some of the people that have hit me up haven’t exactly been quite so appealing (for lack of better words).  The ones that have been closer to my age are either looking for casual sex and nothing more, or are bi and married *shudders*  No thanks on that, I really don’t want to be the "other woman".  Those that are younger, while having some appeal and ability to have a casual conversation — there’s an edge to them that I really don’t need to deal with.  It’s like they’re on the verge of being bitterly cynical or something.  *shrugs*  One way or another, as the saying goes, "…time to line up all the frogs to kiss in order to find my prince…" 

     There really isn’t too much else to talk about at the moment, so I’m off to work a little more on two Apo pictures, and deal with a couple of other issues on the notebook before wandering off for the night.  Until the next time.

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