Home > Life or something like it > Entry 01/13/2009 11:40:46 PM – Mentat 473

Entry 01/13/2009 11:40:46 PM – Mentat 473

01/14/2009
     Another quiet night, and I’m glad that it is…  I was in gay.com earlier, but when I realized that I was pushing system hard (downloading Usenet, watching television along with being in a chat room), I decided to bring it down because gay.com’s messenger seems to push something hard on the hard drive.  Now that I’m done, and want to check out the chat in the room, find out that gay.com’s down again for some sort of maintenance.  Surprised to see that; not…  Given that they’ve been up and down routinely since the upgrade had been performed a couple of months ago.  So, it’s a little television, a little writing, and of course, the routine nonsense with Cricket being up and down and all around because of the threat to bizarre weather that we’re threatening to have for the next couple of days…  Oh nothing warm — just the routine threat of snow, freezing rain, and the kind of New England weather that I should expect ’til oh say, March… 

     Feeling a bit better (refreshed) for the most part, although more than a shade frustrated given that I had a blue-dream the night before.  Sad thing too, given that he (the man in the dream) was rather good looking — even if I’m not too keen about dating jocks again.  Would like a few more of those kind of dreams, given that for the longest time I thought that they had been pretty much beaten out of me since breaking up with Rick. 
     Hell, I’m even feeling better about policing the Fractal Category on DA — given that I’m beginning to see a definitive pattern to who’s dropping them all willy-nilly into the group.  Seems that they’re relatively new (usually within a month or two), and 14 – 20.  So I’m not feeling too much ill-will (anymore) toward them given that the categories can be more than a little overwhelming when first submitting a Deviation.  At least, now that I’ve figured out the pattern; even though for a while I was getting really frustrated about it. 
     Speaking of something else that had me frustrated for the last three days — MSN Spaces had some sort of upgrading scheme since their participation at the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas that caused both upgrades to pictures as well as posting blogs.  It looked like some sort of permissions error on the server side that had caused it not to work for more than three days.  Grrr!  Talk about frustrating; given that it was near impossible to find a blog, or a listing anyplace that listed it as an "outage".  I did find a team blog on Spaces that I was able to find out that they did perform an upgrade and quite a lot of comments to the last blog entry of people suffering the same or similar issues. At least this evening when I woke up, they finally worked out the problem since they completed the upgrade to Calendar (not that I really use it; even though I did create one there) so Spaces is finally synched up with the rest of the blogs that I mirror. 

     Had a talk with one of the two from two entries ago.  Actually, I saw both however the one of them (the one that’s looking for a casual tryst) tried to change his tactic saying that his "boyfriend was out of town for a couple of weeks".  When I called him out on that — he shut up and left the channel for the night (which happened shortly before connection for everyone was broken because of a server issue).  But that’s not the focus of this section…
     So like I said, I had a talk with him again.  Not quite as depressive feeling as the last time, although I admit that I did find myself squirming more than a little bit halfway into the conversation given that it seemed entirely too heavy for a public chat and I didn’t feel the need or want to moving it privately because of the greater fear that it would get seriously heavier. 
     Seems that he wants to write… Or take his journal entries (that he keeps in notebook form) and make them into a book.  I admit this isn’t the first time I’ve heard of someone that’s lead a difficult or trying life wanting to put it all together into a book or novel.  Nor was it the first time that I’ve heard the altruistic theme of helping others (teens and young adults) better their lives through the lessons that he’s learned.  And believe it or not, not the first time I’ve heard the level of micromanaging that he was displaying…  What I mean about "micromanaging" has to do with the fact that he’s contemplating a level of "creative licensing" that he wants exclusive control of.  Of course, he’s putting the cart ahead of the horse in this; given that he’s yet to actually write it beyond his notebook, and from what I’ve been able to collect from the conversation I had with him in an open forum — he’s yet to remotely try to make a blog of it.  So it’s all big dreams and high aspirations… 
     I think that’s what it was that struck me contemplative…  The fact that it’s all dreams and high aspirations, with little return at the present.  And while I was present to see these aspirations, the cynical side of me is not seeing him actually follow through with those aspirations.  I feel the reason why I don’t see him publishing it either online, or in book form is because of the first impression that I got from him during the last conversation and this one.  That he doesn’t realize just how bitter he sounds, and that in his wanting to put something of this magnitude together, he’s not going to like the criticism he’s going to get from either an editor, nor from peers.  I also don’t think he has what it takes to cut down the million and one minutia of a situation to get to the heart of the matter. And finally given that he’s got too much micromanaging going on during the conversation — I think that he’s not going to be happy when the message that he’s wanting to put out, isn’t picked up by whoever’s reading his story. 
     Still though the closet optimist that I can be sometimes, believes that he really should make it a go in a public blog so that he can hone his ability to write and get a really good taste of the bad and the good when someone makes a comment on something he’s written for a journal entry. 
     I might pop that off as a suggestion the next time I see him… 

     Not too much else at the moment.  It’s almost lunchtime here, and I’m looking forward to having some shepherd’s pie.  Until the next time…
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