Home > Jobs, Work, Career > Entry 01/27/2009 09:27:24 AM – Mentat 478

Entry 01/27/2009 09:27:24 AM – Mentat 478

01/28/2009
     …No good (or bad) deed goes unpunished…

     Sometimes that saying is more than just my life, it’s like a reoccurring theme to the adventures/mis-adventures frequently going on in my life.  Sometimes it’s all because of my doing, sometimes it’s just because I happen to have problems understanding the level of damage or trouble I cause by the knowledge that I share.  But I’ll be getting to that in a minute or three.

     First off, I got entirely too much sleep last night when I decided to take my routine quick nap during my days off.  Fell asleep on the couch at around 3 in the morning with the cat attached to my chest because it’s entirely too cold for her, and didn’t wake back up until 6 in the morning.  Ugh — add the 6 hours of sleep (or so) that I got from the night before, and I guarantee you that I’m going to be up ’til 3 in the afternoon.  Sure, not that it matters really, it’s not as though I’m going to be going to work tonight — I’ve still got the next two nights off.  But I admit that I do like having my sleep patterns more than a little bit organized as I am a creature of the night, and swapping around the times I get my sleep can seriously screw up my equilibrium while I’m at work.  And right now, that’s the last thing I need to be going through given the time of year. 
     Yeah, as I’ve said in previous entries, this is the long-stretch blahs.  But what I didn’t mention is that through the months of January and February, I also get a bad case of the emotional blues as well.  Sure, it’s been five years since Rick and I broke up, but the damage that I went through for the four and a half years we had been together still haunts me, and I routinely have to watch for the signs that are bubbling up from the unconscious surface before I start to inflict that unconscious insanity on the masses around me.  I was lucky last year in that I had been seeing Damion, and his routinely chipper disposition helped me infinitely through the rough time of it — although it did catch him unaware for Valentine’s Day last year when I lashed out at him about something completely trivial.   Fortunately it wasn’t quite as bad as it was during the first couple of years since the breakup; and it’s not as bad now looking back through the week but it does haunt me and I do feel more than a little guilty about my allowing it to effect my performance and my general disposition in the world around me. 
     Heh, maybe I should’ve considered taking a vacation earlier. 

     So it’s the quiet time here at the homestead with me winding down after a "fun filled" night of game playing, reading, checking out DA, and generally laying low while trying to balance through my mood swings that still go on because of the blues & blahs.  Good thing too, as I wasn’t quite up to being all friendly or even flirty with folk that I’ve been talking about in the last couple of journal entries.  I have enough frustrations at the moment; I don’t need to add to them. 
     Was funny last night as I was checking out DA and saw that CoRayBee wrote a snarkishly excellent Journal Entry that I could completely relate to regarding what I’ve been seeing on Deviant Art.  For those of you outside of DA: point your web-browsers of choice to the following URL:  http://coraybee.deviantart.com/journal/22824017/  Be prepared to giggle and wet your pants if you’re into snark (as much as I am). 
     Then to my surprise when I got home Monday, DWalker1047 (http://dwalker1047.deviantart.com/) featured some of my work on her journal.  As I said to her in her journal, thank you.  I am touched and honored.  I know that I’m often way too hard on myself as well as my own worst critic when it comes to what I produce; often improperly comparing my work to the Michelangelos and the Picassos that have been working with the program for years and thinking that I’ll never produce what they can.  Chances are, I won’t ever be considered a Michelangelo or a Picasso with it given the nature of my beast and that I’m a jack of all trades, but I can stop that horrible beast of an über-critic when I see the path in the sand from my time when I started November, 2007(-ish) and see, yeah, I’ve gotten better with it… 
     *sticking out his tongue to at least one person in his circle of acquaintances* So much for that fake art, huh? 

     Let’s see…  What else…  It was a Charlie-Foxtrot Monday morning when I got in from work, given that I tried to hustle and make the call to ASUS about the motherboard and requesting support.  First off, the number for Technical Support within the book wasn’t accepting any calls whatsoever.  Seemed to have kicked in that way from about the time that their support number was supposed to open up (8:30 eastern).  Then I went looking through the site for support to find that one location wouldn’t open until noon, and the live-chat for it while being open was so backed up, that it would auto run to "E-mail support, thank you".  Eh, whatever.  I wrote them, got a ticket number, and expect to hear back from them within 48 hours (if that).  I might just mosey off and buy myself a different motherboard instead and force ASUS to either refund my money, or send me a backup board as replacement in case the other one that I might consider buying breaks down or stops working.  It won’t hurt really, given my experience with Frankenstein Machines (the last one that I built fried a horrible death). 

     While I’m loathe to talk about it, I just need to vent… 
     For starters I’m not normally one to listen to the rumors in an office, and when I do, I usually simply nod, and disregard it because of the saying "rumors are one part truth, four parts of hearing something completely out of context".  However, Thursday night when I got in, I heard some, and it sunk in right quick and caused me to simmer almost a full day prior to the meeting that was planned to cover what had originally caused the rumor.  Needless to say, I was more than a little antagonistic with my team lead when I was pulled into the meeting. 
     The rumor was that folk on third shift aren’t doing the work that they’re supposed to be doing.  Which is rather ironic, that while there are elements that certainly have been slacking a little bit, hearing that rumor just hooked in my craw given that more often times than naught, I’m usually there at 2 – 4 in the morning cutting through e-mails from first and second shifts that had either been opened and completely untouched, or opened and not moved to answered because a technician was on the phone and asked for the information; resolving the issue without actually moving the requested e-mail. 
     There were other issues discussed during this, which just chaffed me, but after the meeting, I slumped into a mood feeling really bad that I was antagonistic during the meeting, and apologized for it shortly afterward.  Apparently I’ve got a meeting coming up with the shift manager the first day in, which I’m sure this antagonistic attitude — along with a glaringly bad mistake that I made during one night — is going to haunt me when I go in on Thursday.  Which I’m feeling more than my usual discomfort about it being pushed off that long.  It can’t be THAT as horrible as I think it is because if it were, then the meeting would have been pushed up quicker, but it’s bad enough that it’s scheduled for a half-hour meeting.  Ugh. 
     Which leads me up to another point that’s gone back to worse since it was told in the departmental meeting that I was rather glad about getting nipped in the bud.  Apparently for two of my four day work week, I’m back to feeling as though I’m the proud proprietor of a day care center.  I talked a little about it with Joe, commenting that I’m almost jealous of the hours that he has given that he doesn’t deal with the level of immaturity I do out of two days of my work schedule. 
     On the one side, I understand the need to ask for moderation from the childish behavior given that this is the only way that people are supposed to learn, but at the same time I don’t see why I personally need to take responsibility to teaching 20-somethings the right and the wrong of professional attitudes in a workplace.  After all, if one is an adult, and one is responsible, then responsible, professional attitudes should near automatically be engendered from the time someone enters into a workforce, regardless of whether there’s supervisors and managers around.  This is especially true when one is supposed to be in a position where one is their own supervision.  From taking the faux-bohemian approach to bathing regularly, to crass and childish (bordering now on unprofessional) behavior, to infantile and pre-adolescent cajoling that is quite a din sometimes… 
     To make it worse, there are times when I get the clear impression that it’s done just for the reason that it’ll work and grate on my nerves and it will be talked about.  Which is truly sad when you think about it…  I think it’ll be brought up in my meeting Thursday, and I can’t wait to see how it’s handled in the coming months with the changes that are supposed to be going into effect.  That should be interesting to say the least.

     Well, that’s about it for the time being.  I’m off to bed, and will probably post this when I wake up in the evening.  Until the next time.

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