Home > Romance/Relationships > Entry 01/20/2010 03:48:58 AM – Mentat 550

Entry 01/20/2010 03:48:58 AM – Mentat 550


     Some things never cease to amaze me. 

     First one that leaves me gobsmacked has to be the one where no matter how many times I tell people I don’t have a physical type when it comes to men — they never believe me.  And looking back between my boyfriends and the men that I’ve dated, this is more than evidence.  Tall, short, hairy as a rug, hairless as a baby’s butt, blond haired, black haired, red headed, bald as a cue ball, thin as a rail, morbidly obese and everywhere in between, jocks, geeks, executives, blue-collar — it doesn’t matter.  I’ve dated them all.  The physical appearance is just part of the package and I don’t put the insane amount of weight into it as too many gay men seem to.  What matters more to me are the emotional and mental qualities that someone shows that I find infinitely more attractive.  It’s from there that I try to develop a relationship with a man — not just because they happen to look like a bear.   The elements that a man stands apart from my dating them to my calling them boyfriend.  It’s from these qualities that all my long-term relationships have in common; they have self-confidence.  They are capable of reasoning things out for themselves.  They have the ability to ask questions when something doesn’t make sense, and not afraid or self-conscious about asking questions that make them feel "dumb".  They are willing to communicate their feelings, and understanding boundaries.  And one thing that really stands them apart — is that they can understand what I’m saying to them, and not feel as though I’m being condescending when I’m explaining.  Further one quality also helps a lot with me is being strong enough to know when to tell me to shut up, or when to ignore me and allow me to sort the issue out on my own.  All of these qualities are what I feel and deem of a man that’s "a keeper" — and the three men that I say I loved truly, madly, deeply all had those qualities. 

     I’m having a light-conversation with someone on one of the LGBT sites, and when I told him that I don’t have a type (and explained the qualities that I find attractive) he didn’t believe me, and believed that I have a type.  Uhh…  No really.  No (physical) type.  But I do have personality types. 


     The other thing that leaves me slack-jawed more than gobsmacked is the level of mindless fanboy-ism that I tend to see on DA. I’ve been on DA just over two years now, and in the time that I’ve been there, the amount of frothing fanwanking I’ve seen with Joker from Dark Knight, to Edward Cullen from Twilight to the Na’vi from Dances with Blue Wolves  err, I mean Avatar is positively frightening.  It’s like whenever something new that teens and tweens see on television and movies flock like mad sheep and while some are impressed enough to give a go with their own artwork — a majority of the mad sheep think it’s perfectly all right to take screenshots, and publicity photos and submit them as deviations for the own box on the site.  Or worse as I’ve seen — cosplaying or photo-manipulating a self-pic into looking like Joker, or Ed Cullen, or a Na’vi. 

     Now don’t get me completely wrong I understand completely the enjoyment of cosplay — it is from my generation and the generation before that made it into a fine art.  And when it comes to conventions and Halloween — everything is in its place and in its place is everything.  But when it’s to the point as it’s a fashion…  As though it’s a replacement of self — then I’m reminded too keenly of Frank Hebert’s Dune Chronicles in which when Paul Atreides took to the Galactic Throne everyone’s fashion style to resembling and reflecting Fremen still-suits.  

     Have we as a society reached as an apogee to the point where we can’t be ourselves and enjoy our individuality?  Or have the sheep found the Information Age to be the perfect place to flock together and be just like everyone else?  Or like someone or something because one cannot stand being one’s self? 

     Or is it that I’ve simply gotten that old?  That I’ve reached the point where I’m finally completely comfortable with myself that I don’t feel the need to play someone else, or something else? 


     Well, that’s about it for now.  Until the next time.

Categories: Romance/Relationships
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