Home > Life or something like it > Entry 06/19/2010 10:16:50 PM – Mentat 574

Entry 06/19/2010 10:16:50 PM – Mentat 574


     Well, Emancipation Day is coming up this week, and I think I might have finally worked out what it is I’m going to be freeing myself of for that holiday.  I’m going to be shedding a lot of drama queens, whingers, negative attention whores and spoiled twats that think that it’s cool to be constantly crying about things that they think are out of control.  Along with that I’m going to be shedding a whole lot of codependent, passive-aggressive types that instead of handling their problems, would rather sit there and let others make decisions for them, rather than handling their problems on their own. 

     Yeah, I’m tired of being the central support for a whole lot of people that can’t seem to take control of their situations or their problems and instead of facing them (sometimes even head on) they would rather cry about it constantly.  Thanks, but I have enough problems in my life that I don’t need to have my emotional, spiritual or intellectual energies pulled about constantly by people that are black holes for positive energy and give nothing back in return. 

     Now, don’t get me wrong — we all go through our downward spirals of depression and what not.  It’s one thing to help people that are having a go of things and it’s not working out.  After all, we can’t always be the vision of goodness, selflessness and light in our lives.  Into every life a little rain must fall, as the saying goes.  But there’s a line where it goes from something looking like a depressive streak to what clearly looks like a constant parade of negativity and crying. 

     And it’s these people that I am tired of dealing with day to day to day. 


     Not sure what I should be covering since my last journal entry, as there’s quite a bit of drama (most of it completely nonsensical) since the last time I had sat down.  And blissfully, my birthday was not part of that drama either, although personal issues (and demons) from the past certainly did seem to make it feel as such.  I could start with my birthday, even though there’s not much to talk about from it.  Heh, if anything it was quiet, uneventful, sober, and exactly the sort of thing I should be going through every day of the week.  Honestly, I didn’t do all that much for my birthday; didn’t even indulge in any pint of ice cream or liquor for the day.  I think I played a couple of games, watched a little repeat television, gave my cat a hug and gave her, her usual can of food, and chatted for the majority of the night.  Of course, the best part is that it’s going to take me a good month to remember that I’m no longer 45 — but I’ve been that way for as long as I remember — so why should I stop that tradition any time in the near future either.  *grinning*

     This would be considered sad by some of the people that had suggested that I party my ass off for the day — but for me uneventful is always better.  Mainly because I don’t end up getting argumentative with people, being stepped on by the inconsiderate or the oblivious (to their surroundings), or having to deal with the rude up here in the tundras of New England.  You know come to think of it — I didn’t even have the usual wildlife (read: skunks) cutting through the yard looking for something to eat.  Good thing too, given that I can routinely smell them when they’re in the neighborhood; and that’s definitely an odiferous experience (for those of you that don’t know). 

     For my birthday present this year, I might have finally gotten an idea on what I might be looking to getting.  Now as you folk know, I’ve been contemplating upgrading the Atom Ant (MSI Wind U-100) that I’ve had for almost 2 years now.  I had been talking about an upgrade with something that has more processing power so I can work on bigger/higher resolution fractals and also have more of a go with Incendia while I’m away from my desktop (seems that Incendia, like Apophysis doesn’t really like playing nice with virtual drivers when I remote into the desktop from work).  So I decided to look for a Core Duo or one of the iCore processors that are currently on the market.  Came across one from the same maker — MSI — that appeals to my needs (and then some): the GX740-079 (http://www.newegg.com/Product/Product.aspx?Item=N82E16834152192&nm_mc=OTC-Froogle&cm_mmc=OTC-Froogle-_-Notebooks-_-MSI-_-34152192) over at New Egg.  About the only problem that I have with it is that it’s accents are like blood red.  I mean, sure it’s not so much a complaint, even if I’m a sort of the man like likes ‘me blue or radioactive green.  Oh and the other issues that I see is that I’m not too keen on the ATI video card, but then again I’m more familiar with nVidia cards and prefer them as they tend to work rather well at higher temperatures.  I think I came across another from MSI that a 16" laptop with an nVidia card (found it after a bit of perusing; it’s the GT660R-003) — but the color accents were even more put off than red.  Glowing pumpkin orange or some such runner lights on it.  Uh, don’t know about that. 

     A good acquaintance of mine over on DA suggested going with Alienware.  Heh.  As a matter of fact, I did go over to Alienware’s site and priced something similar out — and ended up with something similar for $3,000 or so (excluding shipping & handling).  Seriously, while I like the name, and it would come in Mothership Blue (or whatever color they call it) — I’m tired of dealing with Dell.   They’re solid computers, but they lack the flexibility I rather like having.  As for his other suggestions — I’ll go pricing around and see if I can find something comparable. 


      Work’s been surprisingly good.  Then again having 4-day weekends certainly makes it so much easier dealing with some of the less fortunate when dealing with technology of the Information Age.  While it still makes me wonder how the hell these people had gotten this far in the last 30 years and not know anything about basic computer/technology troubleshooting is beyond me.  Then again, people have also had problems with the basics of automobile troubleshooting and cars have been around for more than a century.  Although, I think that with the weather getting significantly warmer in the Mid- and Southwest, people are less likely to play "tourist’ in the City of Sin, and are picking places that are more temperate than the arid desert. 

     Then again my mentioning it now will most probably jinx it all, and I’ll be flying off the handle tomorrow night when I head into work.  Just what I don’t need about this point, as I’m feeling rather festive (all things considered). 


     As for the rest…  Gods below…  In the middle of all this I found myself up to my neck in demons and issues from my past.  And I’m not even sure how I want to go into the details of it, given that it’s unresolved drama at the moment which I’ve been avoiding because I wanted to enjoy two days (out of four) to getting my head screwed back on right, without the drama, the demons or the issues that were giving me a case of anxiety.  I’ll think about it a little more and come back to this.  Right now, I’m feeling the overwhelming want to avoiding facing it, and go off and read something or another.  Be back shortly. 


[Last Edited: 06/20/2010 09:28:09 AM]


     Back and for the moment feeling sort of stabilized.  Seems that sometime during the evening, while I had been sitting here and the temperatures began calming down, I decided that I was going to run some sort of temperature along the way making me feel miserable and on the verge on some sort of migraine or another.  Fortunately for me, it never developed beyond the niggling feeling, but it did make me feel moderately uncomfortable for hours. 

     I’m not going to talk about it just yet.  I have something currently on the back burner that I need to deal with first before I start talking about the demons that came back up to haunt me from the past.  So, first that, then back to the journal.  Until the next time.

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