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Spirit Day – A Message from a Survivor

10/21/2010

In honor to Spirit Day 10/20/2010

I know what it’s like to be bullied for being different
For being a geek and a nerd
For being smarter than the norm
For liking things that are different from the crowd
For being a momma’s boy growing up
For being gay

I know what it’s like to be pushed into lockers until I ended up with a split lip and bruises
Stuffed into lockers because the jocks like to bully
Pinned down in the schoolyard because I’d rather play with Legos than play baseball
Harassed daily because I don’t flock like the popular kids
Pointed at and ridiculed because my clothes weren’t “the trend of the moment”
For being sneered at because I kiss a boy and not a girl

I used to come home crying a lot
Sometimes on the outside, mostly on the inside
Because of the cruelty of my peers
And what felt like hatred from the world for being me
I used to go deep into myself to escape and become a lifeless shell
I used to be very, very alone and lonely

My parents used to tell me a lot that things will be different when I get older
That life will be better when I settle down with a woman and had kids of my own
Until I told my parents that I was gay and their acceptance of me went out the window
That they wanted to “cure” me for being different
That they wanted their first born to be normal like the rest of the world
That’s when I contemplated suicide

That was more than three decades ago
I survived and didn’t even try to kill myself
At the time I thought myself a coward because I was afraid of pain and dying slowly
It took me years to realize the strength of my spirit
The strength of my character that it takes to continue to live
And prove just how wrong those that bullied me were, and how right I am for simply being me

Take it from me; a survivor
There are people out there that will accept you for who you are
There are people that will defend you and stand up for you when you least expect it
There are friends that will stand by you through thick and thin
You will find your place in the world
You will fit in for you are not alone

Take it from me; a survivor
The bullies will get what’s coming to them, for they will bully the wrong person
The flocks will find other things to ridicule and scorn
You will find acceptance in the most unlikely of places and at the most unlikely times
You will find love for your individuality when you least expect it
You will find respect for being a survivor

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