Home > Computers and Internet, Romance/Relationships > Entry 02/28/2011 10:22:11 AM – Mentat 603

Entry 02/28/2011 10:22:11 AM – Mentat 603

02/28/2011

Ugh.

I just went outside to throw the trash and what does my senses tell me? Gone is the snow that had fallen yesterday and in its place, I’m dealing with ice and freezing rain instead. Was particularly thrilling when that raindrop of coincidence decided to hit me in just the right spot on my neck and trickle down my spine. And to think I thought I was awake after having my morning coffee and shower. Heh, nothing beats getting chills running up and down one’s back thanks to near freezing water.

I was up pretty early thanks largely to the parade of cat up and down my pillows because she had decided that I had slept more than long enough because she was hungry and didn’t want to snack on the dry food that’s out any longer. A half-hour before the alarm was going to go off too. I might love her to death, but this new habit of hers is annoying as well because she acts as though she wants under the covers, but when I pick them up to allow her in, she mews at me and changes position on the pillows. To think that almost a decade ago when she was hungry she would stick a cold and wet nose into my ear and purr (and as she got older; drool) to wake me up.

*looking at the calendar* Cricket’s going to be 14 at the end of this week. Pretty amazing that she still has her sight and hearing for an old woman her age. While I don’t think she’ll ever get back to the weight she was before the illness, at least she’s having no problems eating, drinking and using the litter box like she was ½ year ago. She’s also showing a bit more signs of being rheumy, though that’s not surprising given that the vet said when she last saw her said that she was showing signs of geriatric arthritis. But hey *knocking on wood* she can still jump on/off the bed, couch and my chair for some lap time; so it’s not all that bad yet.

The homestead is amazingly quiet at the moment. My aunt and uncle are currently at the hospital for my uncle’s knee replacement surgery that was scheduled for this morning at 06:30. This is for his other knee and sitting here and looking through my journal, I don’t remember whether he was kept for observation (for possible complications) the first time that he had gone in. Either or, I suspect that it’s going to be quiet around the house for the next couple of weeks as my uncle will be on pain medications and warned that he needs to remain immobile while he’s healing. Good thing too as his slamming doors when coming and going can be more than a bit jarring even when I can hear it through one or two floors… Yes, he doesn’t open and close doors… He slams them, in spite of the fact that they don’t stick even when the wood swells during the spring and autumn. Quiet is good, and I’m looking forward for the next couple of weeks because of this.

Since I’ve installed the Service Pack for Windows 7, the issue that I’ve reported in previous entries has moved from the Boot-Up/Boot-In to the Welcome Screen and is happening at the desktop: a BSOD without the Blue screen. So far in the last week or so, I’ve caught two of them; the first happened shortly after the Service Pack was installed and I was using Chrome and checking out a video on YouTube that a friend had suggested I check. The second was on Friday when I was launching VLC Media Player to check out a partially-downloaded video for a teaser for an upcoming movie. Seems that this BSOD occurs within the first ½ hour of Boot-In from the Welcome Screen and seems to be dependent on what I’m doing for activity with the video card. To make it more frustrating is the fact that it’s intermittent and only seems to be a problem during boot up. Once I get beyond the first ½ hour hump, my system happily functions properly and adequately the entire time.

Now that I’m able to better see the error message that’s happening, I’m able to confirm it to being something with the video card drivers. One of the messages that I had read on the nVidia forum board for the specific error that I had encountered stated that it has something to do with over-clocking… Something I know I didn’t do given that 1. I didn’t install the software for such, and 2. the card was installed with all factory default settings. What I do suspect is given my experience with Windows and their inability to properly uninstall all DLLs, files, and registry settings, one of the programs that I used to diagnose the problem on the previous card might still be in place somewhere and causing a bit of problems — particularly with the installation of the service pack — and I should as a precaution simply perform a reinstallation from scratch to running a clean system once again.

Yeah, I know. It’s been said for some years with Windows XP that reinstalling from scratch is generally unnecessary for most business and many home-users. The thing is though, those of us in the IT field tend to do a lot of installing and uninstalling of programs on their test machines (and like it or not, IT people at home are twice as likely to treat their primary machine as a test machine). Mostly to either do the job required, or researching various problems when necessary. And in spite of many of the tools of the trade at our disposal for installs/uninstalls, more often times than naught legacy DLLs and drivers might still be left in place in the \System directory and more importantly in the Registry that can cause a system to act in an unstable fashion.

Looking at my calendar, I saw that the last time I had performed a Windows reinstall was when I upgraded from the old Dell Machine (running XP Pro) to the Frankenstein that I’m running now (Win 7 Ultimate) back in November 2009. Since then, I’ve made at least 6 changes to hardware, and countless programs that check Kernel, Software efficiency, L2 Cache control, BIOS changes, Network monitoring and Latency, even fan controls for my box, along with various other software features and tweaks since then that can be seen as effecting speed. I’ll probably be doing this reinstallation next month (optimistically) as things should be slow enough and warm enough to perform such a job. Unless the errors really work my nerves, then it’ll be much faster. *grinning*

All right, the issue that I felt like I was ducking out in Entry 601 has caused me to make up my mind rather easily. And this is the story…

On the Saturday that I had written that entry as I had said I wanted a bit of “me time” with this particularly person that I’ve been chatting with from the area for most of the month. Part of the reason was I was finding myself put off not only to the amount of smoking that he does, but the fact that he’s had a drink in his hand every time we’ve ended up on the phone or in Skype (while he was working out the camera that he had purchased).

One day, became two. Then became a week and I was finding myself getting comfortable with the silence and not dealing with him. As things were winding down for the week and weekend was gearing up, I get a text from him basically asking me whether I was free (to talk) and that he had been missing me.

While I don’t remember muttering anything out loud when reading that text, I do remember getting this sort of determined look/grimace as though I knew it was time to make up my mind on all this.

Of course, I didn’t. I took the easy way out of things and decided for one more go with this both to confirm my trepidations and solidify the issues that I was having with this man.

Sure enough he was drinking again, and him saying that he drinks every Friday didn’t help my mood (or my opinion of him) any. Still I plodded on trying to maintain an air of pleasantness and informal banter.

While it was going well (albeit awkward in places), I decided “to hell with it” and chose one of the three New England taboo subjects (family, politics, religion) one shouldn’t bring up during a date: Religion.

In a previous conversation, he had expressed an interest in learning more about Buddha and Buddhism, and wanted to table it until another call. When that other call happened, he wanted to table it again because he hadn’t seen the episode on Nova (or some such PBS show) and wanted to watch it for a refresher.

Then on Friday I brought it up again, he said the same thing… he wanted to table the discussion because he hadn’t seen the episode.

Rolling my eyes to myself, I realized quickly the questions he had wasn’t on the empirical want to understand the philosophy or beliefs of Buddhism, but instead on temple life of a Buddhist Monk.

Uh… I began, Buddhism isn’t like the Roman Catholic Religion to teach a hierarchy for reaching/attaining enlightenment from postulate to monk, to priest to (and on and on and on) ultimately to god/Buddha. It’s an individual path one takes for enlightenment by following in the Buddha’s steps or more importantly in one’s own understanding of enlightenment.

Of which I explained it to him including the necessity for asking the questions that should come to mind for better understanding.

He still wanted to table it, obsessed that it was required he see that episode on Buddhist Monks.

While I sighed to myself and I let it go for the most part, the subject had changed a little from the understanding of philosophy to something more personal on the subject of which I found myself even more frustrated to the point where I found myself fighting the impulse to hanging up on him and calling it a night with him.

One, he kept saying “shut up” to me each and every time I attempted reiterating what my understanding of what he was saying to me (by reiterating it back to him). Not a good way of getting my attention in a discussion or a debate, particularly when I gave him more than extending politeness to allow him to explain himself, and common courtesy dictates I reiterate back to ensure I understand the point the person is trying to make.

Then he would tell me I’m right, but wrong about the situation and when I asked what parts I was wrong explained I wasn’t in the least. Pride and more importantly foolish pride are bad qualities to demonstrate in a discussion with someone you only just met; and cracking jokes in a derisive way during a discussion leaves the party the jokes are being cracked on that any passionate discussions will never be taken seriously.

Then I had warned him that my use of the words like “god”, “soul” (and in some cases during our conversation Soul) and “Universe” are not the same or interchangeable to the way the words are used in New England where Roman Catholic teachings have slanted the words in a specific way. He then claimed spiritual superiority (by saying he was spiritually more advanced than I was), in spite of my acknowledging his perspective and mine were simply different.

I found myself using stern tones during the course of this part of the conversation, particularly when I got fed up with the amount of times he said, “shut up” at me, of interrupting me, and worse changing the subject to points that he was trying to make that had positively nothing to do with the subjects on hand. A maneuver I’m all too familiar with that people use when they feel they are out of their element and wanting to maintain a false sense of intellectual and/or emotional superiority.

The proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back however was the amount of times he brought up his (soon to be ex-) roommate, of which is a story in itself. The thing is, we’ve been speaking to each other both online and on the telephone for about a month to month and a half. In that time he has brought up his plight about his roommate each and every time we’ve chatted on the phone. It’s not a simple dilemma about a leeching roommate that doesn’t pay rent and basically takes advantage of free room and board. It’s the sort of emotionally-sucking discussions that last hours at a time basically covering every possible foible this roommate has and how much it’s ruining his life.

While I applauded him at the beginning of the conversation (Friday night) when he brought up that the problem with his roommate was coming to an end; with a departure date had been set for his roommate to move out of his house by the end of March. He brought the roommate up again later in the conversation (when we were talking about the differences between “soul” and our manifestation on Earth), when he talked about how his roommate’s name is on his Estate Will.

At this point my patience had been worn entirely too thin with the roommate being the majority of our conversation both for this night as well as our conversations on the whole. This wasn’t obsession with a friendship turned badly and while I believed he was telling the truth that their friendship was platonic, I couldn’t help but draw the allegory that the way he talks about his roommate is like he and his roommate are ex-lovers. And no matter how much I tried to draw his attention that this is a comparison, he accused me of calling him a liar.

Disgusted and crestfallen, I had asked whether his roommate was going to be brought up more in the coming month (his roommate was moving out April 1st according to what he told me), and he said probably…

I knew then my mind was made up.

*sighs* Common courtesy (hell, just plain sensibility) dictates that when you meet someone new — particularly someone you want to have a date with — there should only be two things kept in mind during the getting to know you process: 1. put your best foot forward (about you and your life), and 2. chat to find subjects in common.

And yet in the month we’ve been chatting all I’ve heard about is the issues that he’s been having with his roommate. While he did indicate “that’s how caring I am”; the obsessiveness and the veracity for which he talked about the negativities and coupled with the manner that he had dehumanized the roommate (by calling him “dickhead”, bug, and so on) belied just how little compassion the man is capable of.

And so far the only “best foot forward” I’ve been able to get from him has been the amount of money he’s made in various investments and 401Ks, the creature comforts he has in the house he had been bequeathed from his family, his Volvo, and how he would love to have dinner with me just to see if I’d make a scene in a public setting during a discussion. Couple this with the facts that he drinks regularly, smokes a pack a day, and comes off as the most spiritually bankrupt sort of person I’ve ever met.

Definitely not the sort of thing I find appealing even as a casual friend. And a date? No way in hell at this rate. It smacks too much of the issues I was facing at the end of my relationship with Rick without the physical abuse.

So I know what I have ahead of me; a polite Dear John to wish him the best in finding whatever it is that he’s looking for. Really, I don’t need that sort of stress in my life even casually. Well, that’s about it for the time being… Off to have supper and do a little play-time. Until the next time.

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