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The Old Queer has had his fill


Entry 03/08/2012 03:40:44 PM – Mentat 633

At the moment, I’m extremely crestfallen and aggravated.

I’m annoyed over the fact that since Mark’s returned from his trip to the south, this house is once again a pig-sty.

I’m fed up with all the games that queerfolk play in order to meet a man (and all the games that the play when the man isn’t what they’re looking for).

I’m sick and tired of dAmn Chat and how the same people who cause the same problems continue to be given free reign to act the way they do, and no one seems to do anything to correct the problem.

I’m beyond disgusted in the way that DA has become another Photobucket by Facebook Attention Whores that should have stayed to Facebook like the good little sheep that they are.

While I was at the laundromat (to take advantage of the warm temps early so that as it continues to warm up here in the Tundras of New England I can get out more), I tried writing this journal entry and found myself raging over things I should have waited until having a cup of coffee and a little time to myself and couldn’t remotely put my thoughts to paper because of how much anger I had been suffering from. Thanks to Glenn and a whole lot of hard work in getting my bike back into working order I was able to calm down. Well that and the fact that I was able to pick up an extra-large iced coffee and muffin and enjoy it out on the back stoop just before I worked on fixing the ever so flat tire I didn’t work on last year at the end of autumn. Oh and yes, it was another nail stuck into the tire that caused it to go flat in the first place. Jeez, you’d think that with all the nails in the roads up in my hometown, there was construction going on… Not that I actually saw much of it on the routes that I used to take… But I digress.

I woke up this morning seriously at the end of my rope when it comes to the state of this house since Mark’s returned. From the food stains on the floor to the oil splatters all over the stove. The fact that the cat box is once again in a state of disgust to Saucy once again going into heat. Seriously I’ve been in welfare complexes that were in better shape than I’ve been seeing here. While in the shower (and trying not to curl my nose at the overpowering smell of ammonia from the cat box), I decided it was once again time to cut off Mark’s internet connection. Seriously, the only two things he does for hours at a time is sit there and watch television and stir shit up on Facebook. This was quite the bone of contention a couple of days ago when he dragged himself out of bed early enough (noon time instead of the usual 3 – 4 in the afternoon) and sat around doing nothing all afternoon, then got a wild hair across his ass at 7 PM and wanted to move the box spring and mattress in the front hallway up to the apartment. *eye roll* By the evening the only energy that I have is light stuff, and it’s never a good idea to try to move an inflexible box spring in an ill-lit stairwell anyway. But that didn’t daunt him and he ended up getting a friend over the house… Much to my aggravation and ire.

So I told him he has 2 weeks to get everything straightened out. Failing that I’m going to be moving out.

The landlord is about finished with two of the four vacant apartments in this building, and I’m thinking for convenience sake I’m going to take the one across the hallway. Part of the reason is because it’ll be easy to move all the furniture and possessions from one side to the other, but most of the reason is because the bathroom’s bigger and the room that I’d settle for the bedroom is in the back of the house (instead of the front as it is here), and I can avoid a majority of the noise from the Car Wash across the street. And finally I like being this high off the ground… Again because this is a flood area, and I’d rather have things mostly safe than under water.

Seriously I’m beside myself with some of the shit I’ve seen in the last week. From the windows open and the heater on full blast. Yes… Mark burned whatever it was that he was cooking at 11 PM at night (I remember the acrid smell as I was lying there in bed trying to sleep) and opened the windows to air out the house. But at the same time he left the heat running full blast for the next 4 hours afterward. I recall this because I woke up at 3 in the morning and saw much to my horror the windows open and being blasted by the heat as I came out of my room (the space heater remember is to the right of my door). He tells me he “flaked”, but given his paying history on the utilities, I was still beside myself and fighting the want to smack him upside the heat ’til his teeth would rattle.

Oh there’s so much more I could cover on this, but I fear I’m only going to sound like a broken record. I’ve said my peace on this.. All that’s left at this point is getting him to man up, or getting me to move out.

Next up on the ire chopping block has got to be the way queerfolk act online… Yeah, I know — I’ve been online 23 years now I should already know how things are going to turn out on that front. Still though I still find myself surprised by the way that things seem so stagnant and unchanging when it comes to meeting someone online. Take for example the last man that I chatted with… On one of the sites, there’s a track list that shows the people that have come to check my profile… While admittedly most of them are headless horsemen showing off their members more their face, this one had a face pic for his primary and I remembered him. Hard not to forget him either given he admits to being 6’8″ (2.03 meters). He had checked out my profile at least 7 times in the 4+ months that I’ve been in Providence, of which the last time I finally noted him suggesting that if he’s going to continually check out my profile that much he might as well get acquainted with me.

What does he do? He unlocks his private pictures so that I can see him in all his naked glory.

I told him he didn’t have to do anything of the sort, as a note would’ve been fine.

He tells me that the reason why he’s shown his private pictures was because he’s since gained weight and people stop talking with him when they realize he’s overweight.

I commented back that I understood his predicament (given I’m a man that is self-confidently average looking) and that sometimes you have to take the chance in spite of the odds. Somewhere in the middle of this, I made an oblique reference to A Midsummer Night’s Dream… What do I get? Nothing. Zip.. Nada. No response whatsoever other than a receipt that he read what I wrote.

And I sit here writing this, I can’t help but ask, “is it just me?” (queue reference to the movie I just watched). And the next question that comes to mind is, “is it that difficult to being at least polite to turning someone down?” Heh. I know the answer to that one from a couple of years ago — even being polite will cause some pretty negative repercussions.

Then people wonder why I look at them as though they’re complete freaks of nature when this happens.

Finally I’ve come to the end of my time on dAmn. At this point in my life, it’s dead to me, like MSN Chat. Like Yahoo! Chat. Like IRC long before both of these. I’m tired of petulant children that should either be banned for their negative attitudes in a chat, to trolls that lack finesse to even good people that act as though they don’t have the power to handle the problem because heaven forbid they take away that person’s “Freedom of Speech” (really, the First Amendment does not work this way).

Deviant Art isn’t that much farther behind either… In my time of going through the front page when I show up, I’m finding less and less art and more and more plagiarism. I’m seeing less innovation and more and more copying. I’m seeing more and more line tracings from crappy anime and cartoons. Going through the categories I would “ooh” and “ah” through, I’m seeing mis-categorized work that doesn’t seem to get cleaned up quickly. In one such category I checked out — there were mis-categorized work dating back more than 6 months still there. And worst of all, I’m seeing more and more Facebook Drama Whores doing crappy mirror phone camera shots that shriek like harpies and banshees if you so much as remotely criticize their work with their ass-licking sycophant friends coming out of the woodwork like the Furies on a mission because you happened to “attack” their friend’s “art”.

I was fortunate that my disgust of Zuckerberg’s raping of personal privacy that I had left Facebook, deleting my account years ago… But I didn’t think I would be seeing the spillover from it hitting Deviant Art as it has as quickly as it has. All because these desperate attention seeking, immature children are looking for validation to their vapid lives through how many page-views they get for their main page.

This is part of the reason why I’ve stopped posting any of my fractal work on DA, and has been contributing heavily to my considering when things warm up more I’m not going to be posting my Pictures of the Day there either. I would delete my account there altogether if it weren’t for the kind contributions from fellow patrons, and might consider it when my subscriptions expire.

I know, I know… Take a break Michael. Don’t do anything rash. Common sense beat anyone thinking of saying this to me. Though keep in mind it’s also common sense that’s telling me that it might be time to move on as well. After all, it’s hard to being polite to people when deluged by the very same folk that have poisonous hatred infesting their every comments and attitudes. After all, as the bumper sticker I used to have on my old Datsun decades ago once said, “The Rat Race is over.. The Rats Won!” And there are still plenty of rats all over the place.

As for the rest… My bike’s finally fixed. Axle on the back tire’s a bit wobbly, but I think I fixed that problem with a combination of tightening the axle and gear wheel, along with tightening it to the back part of the frame. I took it for a ride this afternoon heading up to the Stop & Shop on Manton Ave – about 2 miles (3.22 km) up the road from the house — and while the brakes are a bit squishy, it’s good to go for the next couple of months. Fortunately for me I bought new brakes last year that are still in the package.. Whether I do this myself or stop by the bike shop on Broadway remains to be seen… Heh, chances are I’ll have someone else do it. The last time I changed out the brakes, the back axle broke and I had to buy a new bike. Or was that the one where the pedal assembly cracked? Either or, I recall I had to buy a new bike shortly after the brake change and I don’t want to jinx myself again.

Oh oh oh, yeah… back to the other comment. I’ve suspended the picture of the day as well. Seriously there’s only just so many pictures of houses and what not to show off color, and with spring around the corner I want to take pictures of some of the flora in the area when it starts budding. For example, looking out the window from my room, I can see the buds are beginning to grow on the tree outside. Which means that there’s other plants on their way to budding and greening out. It’s now time to show off some more living color and less painted… Doesn’t mean I’ve completely stopped, it’s just that I want something a bit more… natural.

Well that’s about it for the time being.. Supper time here and I need to eat before my sugar does the plummet again. The last thing I need again is my getting either the giggles or emotional over the stupidest of things. Until the next time.

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