The Day After…


Entry 06/12/2014 09:53:44 AM – Mentat 703

So it’s the day after my birthday and I continue to say “oh my god, I’m 50…” like a mantra in the hopes that it’ll sink in properly. Well, not just sink in — more like impact. It’s not impacting though, not in the least. While I was doing my monthly Windows updates, throwing out the last two eggs (stories on that in a moment or two), and doing my morning dishes I realized that I’m doing better now (physically and emotionally) than I did a decade ago… In spite of the anger that I occasionally feel for the two Valley Douchebags™. Now normally I would be doing a year in review for my birthday as I normally do (just to ensure I have some sort of perspective on the issues through the last year), but the problem is that I really don’t want to look back anymore. I’m tired of looking at the anger and the issues that I’ve had with the two douchebags. They are indeed the past, and they need to remain in the past. Not dredged up even for a few moments while I try to put things into perspective. Because even looking back for a brief moment (and in my own compression in time sort of way), I allowed myself to be consumed by that rage for entirely too long.

No more…

Since the last journal entry it’s been a quiet week. Not at all surprising if you know me — I tend to go about routines without causing too many waves… Well at least in the world at large. I might still have my moments of saying things to stir people up online — but that’s just my nature really. I rather like making people think, or parade tired and old misconceptions in order to see just how stubborn people are to change and their perceptions of the world. Doing this makes me realize how slow people are to change and in one example, how people change history to suit their needs. Sure these kids really didn’t live through those times, but they being the authorities of their domains believe their perspective is the right (and only one).

Take for example my putting myself out of the closet (so to speak) again for a new group of people in a community that I frequent once I’ve done all my chores… Once again the tired old misconception of, “…’flaunting’ your sexuality is detrimental to the cause…” I didn’t fight that one with the usual well heterosexuals flaunt their sexuality all the time and it’s not detrimental to their cause.. Instead it was when they tried to provide proof that their gay friend also hates it, that I decided on doing a basic reminder of the past. I quoted what a drag queen once said to me about who threw the rock through the window of the Stonewall Inn… on who had organized and marched in the pride parades the first couple of years.. That is was the faeries, the bull dykes, and the drag queens… But they wouldn’t hear it. They said it was the “normal” people that did that… it was the normal people that organized the parades.

I chuckled to myself and asked how old he was to have come to this conclusion.

He was in his mid-20s.

I chuckled again and reminded him to go find the old, out fags that are his parents’ age and ask them who did what and when. Google and do a bit of research into the past (and not Wikipedia as it’s not to be trusted).

He wouldn’t do anything of the sort. He knew what the ‘truth’ was.

I gave up at this point, though it was fun remembering the time back in junior high school and my interviewing my grandmother on what it was like growing up in the Great Depression. Through her, I got a vivid image and perspective on just how difficult it was during that period in US History.

It made me wonder just how many of the kids online during that conversation took what I said about that time in history to heart versus how many of them remind me of the saying, “…well, I might as well throw out the encyclopedias I have because it’s apparent you know every fucking thing…”

Yesterday I couldn’t make up my mind about what I was going to eat for lunch and dinner… I was in the mood to cooking something easy for one of the meals and finishing the leftovers for the other. At last minute I decided the leftovers for lunch and for dinner I was going to make an egg quesadilla to finish off the eggs and burrito bread in the fridge. So there I am, pulling all the ingredients out and when I start pulling the eggs out of the carton, find that both of them had been broken and stuck in the carton. Apparently they had broken in transit (I always check them when I’m picking up a dozen of them during my shopping run). I was fortunate in that they weren’t rotten… I probably would’ve screamed out of the house to throw them out that much quicker.

That’s about it for the time being. Like I said, it’s been a quiet week… Until the next time.

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