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04/04/2014 Comments off

Entry 04/04/2014 10:09:08 AM – Mentat 693

Two days of spring-like warmth and today it’s back to being the chillier side of spring. Add to the fact that it’s overcast with threats of rain (over the next couple of days) and it looks as though I’m going to have a fun time in store for me. And by fun, I mean certain chores around the house needing to be done. Yeah, I’m sort of doing the cleaning here at the homestead. Not half as much as I would like to do, but enough to make the place feel just a little bit more clean. Moe’s currently on the chairs at the table, miffed with me because he wanted to sit on my shoulder — and by that I mean get into my arm like a toddler and sprawl out. Can’t have that and try to type out a journal entry too as he takes out one arm in the process. So it’s looking all depressed and passive-aggressive in my general direction while he waits for the signal that it’s safe to come back and be an attention whore.

I’m getting better at handling my anger whenever I think of the douche bags in the Valley. I still have random flare-ups when I remember everything that they did in a split-second, but instead of trying to suppress it, I simply embrace it and reason with myself into remembering that they’re out of my life and with that, I should simply let go of that anger. I calm down rather well, though there have been more than one time that I’ve thought to myself, “they still deserve to get the shit beat out of them, just to remind them that it’s what they truly need to stop being the users, liars and thieves that they are…”

My sleep patterns have been completely screwed up. Seems that I’m getting those sort of ½ hour naps when my head hits the pillow at night, only to find myself up for the next three hours trying to get my restless mind to stop racing at a 1,000 miles per hour. Then I’m out for the next 4 – 5 hours and then it’s off to a new day. Sure I nap during the afternoon — no more than an hour — and I’m getting my fair share of 6 – 7 hours sleep through the course of a day.. But it would be nice if it were all at once. I won’t force it too badly; well not yet anyway. At least I’m energetic through the day, and in spite of the staggered hours of sleep I’m actually in better spirits now than I was in the last couple of years, so it’s something, no?

Dreams still come and go strongly, and I’ve noticed in the last couple of weeks, I’ve had a healthy smattering of sexual and erotic dreams. Not sure if it’s because of the change of environment, or the fact that spring is once again in the air, but at least it’s not quite so asexual (or third-person observer) as it has been the last few years. Of course, last night’s dream involved Rick and while it wasn’t anything too intimate (thank the maker there), it was enough to give me pause this morning when I woke up for the final time. I know it has to do with the fact that about a week ago, I made comment about him to someone (can’t remember exactly where or to who) and the way that I told that person, I did my usual remembering the 4½ years all at once. I know from experience that sort of mnemonic recall always causes me to have dreams associated to the subject-matter.

Nothing much else from me at the moment… Oh wait, that’s not quite true. I remember spring is in the air, and this means queerfolk are crawling my profile on one of the local LGBT sites I’m still registered on. Because it’s the Rhode Island area, that means Lilliputians. We’re talking 5’7″ (170 cm) and shorter. And the worst part is that many of them are looking for a “dad” type. Let me just say I’m not… I just corrected my profile there to say, “…I’m also not a ‘dad’. Think of me more like a crazy uncle you leave your kids with if you want them hyped up on sugar and ready to revolt against order & discipline by the time you pick them up…” That should be enough for those under 30 to leave me alone, or run away pronto when they realize I’m not there to be dad and support their ass as they refuse to grow-the-hell-up. There’s better ways of maintaining one’s youth — suckling on the teat of another man’s wallet is not one of them.

And truly, that’s it for the time being. Off to have some water and then walk the dog. Oh the “fun” of a 95 pound (43 Kg) Chocolate Labrador that thinks he’s alpha of all he surveys. Even if that all he surveys is around an apartment complex and .6 miles (.9 km) there and back again. Until the next time.

As the Wintery Days just putter by

01/19/2013 Comments off

Entry 01/19/2013 12:29:21 PM – Mentat 677

Ah, the joys of a colder albeit sunnier weekend. In spite of the fact that I am mostly rested, I’m still feeling more than a little knackered lazing around the house and playing games or watching videos here and there. Not that I mind really… After all, if I get too tired, I can always slack off to my room, put some music on and pass out for a quick cat-nap or two. Though that entirely depends on whether or not the slacker downstairs decides on playing his crappy music on a crappier stereo system. But that remains to be seen… Stories on this in a little while.. Right now I need to catch up on other things…

For example, my hearing’s mostly back to normal since the last time I wrote. The ear drops (and free penicillin from a local clinic) worked like a charm. While I still have some tinnitus from the accident years ago, it’s not so overwhelming as it was when my ear was completely blocked up. And while a good majority of the vertigo and dizziness is gone, I still get occasional waves of it. According to what I’ve experienced, read and what the doctor at the clinic has told me, this is the sort of thing that happens several weeks to several months afterward. It’s called Chronic Compensation… Thinking back to the last couple of times that I’ve had and inner ear infection, it usually lasted only a couple of weeks, but given that I’m middle-aged now there’s a good chance it’ll last for at least a month. At leas the other good thing that comes out of this is that it doesn’t last long when I’m standing up — and can be clocked to about 90 minutes of continuous standing. Not to mention that I don’t get it confused when my sugar’s low; that usually happens when I over-exert myself at about 4 hours.

Then last night, as I was passed out and drooling into my pillow, I heard caterwauling out in the hallway for about ½ hour. Turns out that one of the two cats in the downstairs neighbor’s apartment had gotten out and was lost and confused in the hallway. With it being almost 3 in the morning, I opened the door and brought the kitten in so that it wouldn’t be making a royal racket throughout the night. So, with a little milk and a little playing with an extra shoe-string, in about ½ hour he was fast asleep on the bed. He did pretty well — slept through most of the night. Then in the morning — at a respectable hour — brought him down to the neighbor’s apologizing for holding him through the night as I didn’t want the racket, which she thanked me and the cat was happily reunited with his brother (they have two). Personally, I think it was nice to have a cat about the house, in spite of the occasional meowing as it felt lost and lonely, he reminded me that if I’m going to get another cat — it’s definitely going to be male. It’s less likely to throw hissy-fits as a female might. I’m not sure I’d want an all-black either, as it’s difficult to see ’em with the lights off…

As I tweeted earlier in the week, it’s been incredibly quiet here at the homestead. Seems that the dickhead downstairs hasn’t been around or has wised up and kept the music to a minimum, though after we had all sorts of noise here last night I suspect it was more of the former and less of the latter, as the music returned. However, this morning it seems that this sort of changed as there were 3 cruisers here. Normally there’s only 2 to respond to any scene, however given that the downstairs neighbor is on home confinement (has the anklet to prove it). Not sure what happened next. I heard the police announce themselves after banging on the door with a nightstick, a little talk mostly kept to quiet tones and the police leaving the building a couple of minutes and then left. I didn’t get downstairs fast enough… Mostly because I had the other neighbor’s cat with me and I had been planning on bringing it down, but decided against it because I didn’t want the cat spooked seeing all sorts of strangers in the hallway. So by the time I was able to make any sort of arrangements, the police were already out in their cruisers, one of which had driven off, the other two seemed to have been calling in to the station and it was over.

The landlord had texted me almost immediately asking for the details, and I gave him what little I could puzzle out. He tells me that there were 3 cruisers at another of his properties (well away from my neck of the woods), and believes they rushed here from there. Which seems odd given that the other property’s about 3 miles (4.8 km) from here. And I can’t see the dickhead downstairs going to that side of the city — given it’s primarily WASP. But I’m sure that more of this little drama playlet will unfold as days progress and of course, I’ll probably write about it.

So I finally got the invite to play Ingress. It looks interesting enough, given it’s sort of a social geocaching come spy-craft sort of game. Got through the tutorial with more than a little buggy trouble (I believe it was more PEBCAK and not actual bugs). Looking at the intel map and some of the requirements, it seems that my neck of the woods is curiously lacking portals. But according to the help files online, it’s pretty easy to correct by taking pictures and uploading them to the game moderators for them to decide whether a portal can be placed there or not. Given how bloody cold it’s been the last couple of days, I’ve sort of abstained from going out into it… But as it’s supposed to be warming up the next couple of days, I might take advantage tomorrow to do a little searching and uploading to add areas for portals. Given this is an urban area, there should be more portals even in these neighborhoods as I was seeing downtown near the business district.

Other than that, I’ve found myself positively inundated with unusually sexually charged fantasies with the routine smattering of bat-shit weird dreams I’m well known for having. Strange thing is that when I dream at night, it’s one or the other, but never a mix of both. So this is sort of new for the likes of me, as I’m not used to having anything sexual mixed in with aliens invading, post war nuclear holocaust-type, or the sort of things that Dante Alighieri or HP Lovecraft would write about (and I would end up dreaming about). On the one side, it’s nice that somewhere in this there’s a bit of dating or romance, or out and out shatter-the-commandments sex… But I’m not so sure that it should be mixed in with aliens bend on the subjugation and extermination of humans, demonic possession bent on unleashing hell on earth, or ruins of humanity because of it’s own over-bloated ego. Seems a little… Melodramatic. And coming from a self-admitted Drama Queen, that’s saying more than it should.

Well that’s about it for the time being. Off to get caught up on my soap opera snippets. Have a light bite to eat and then off to do some reading. Until the next time.

Entry 12/17/2008 02:39:38 AM – Mentat 464

12/17/2008 Comments off
     Well as it turns out, what I suspected was the problem with the DVD Encoder was in fact the problem.  When I loaded up the Photo Publisher for Spaces (Live or whatever it’s called nowadays), it loaded up and/or refreshed parts of the Direct 3D DLLS for DirectX which caused the encoder to get completely blown out.  So a simple uninstall/re-install was all that was necessary in order to fix the problems that I was having with DVDs playing within WiMP.  Now that that’s been squared away and fixed within 10 minutes of finding the CD where I had burned the DVD Encoder to, left me to work on some of the other chores that I had around the house.  Of which… Heh, is it any surprise that I still haven’t done my laundry?  Eh, it’s something that can wait until tomorrow. 
     Was sitting in one of the usual channels that I lurk and/or chat on and saw that they were getting snow up on the Metro-Boston area.  Checked outside my windows here, and I’m getting some of the same.  *sighs*  And here I was hoping that the snows here wouldn’t start falling until the beginning of the New Year.  And with my uncle and his knee being pretty whacked out, it looks like I’m going to be getting dressed around the butt-crack of dawn to shovel.  *coming back from checking outside* Then again, I might not be.  Seems that the warmer than usual weather that we had for the last couple of days (60s on Monday, 40s – 50s on Tuesday) has made the ground too warm for the snow to collect, and it’s been melting down pretty quickly. 
     "Good!" I say. I was in no mood to be out there at 6’ish shoveling that crap out.  Who knows?  Maybe I’ll get my Christmas Wish (of sorts) from Mother nature and not have to shovel out ’til 2009. 

     I had another interesting dream last night, involving moving (again).  Seems that I was moving into an apartment not too far from this one, about a block to a block and a half up the street.  To make it even more fun, this was like a memory sort of dream with weird new stuff added to it, as I was moving into an apartment not entirely unlike the apartment that I had back when I was in Upper Ormewood Park on Greenwood Avenue.  To make the dream even more interesting was the fact that I was moving into this apartment with my ex-boyfriend Dan (whom I haven’t talk with in a number of years).  Now what makes this dream interesting with the new material is the fact that in my moving, I was concerned about the way my employee benefits were going to move with me, and how much they were going to cost because of the move.  I seemed more concerned about the account moving to the new location and returning here back to the way the account here used to be set up… 
     Then of course, there was the apartment layout, and who was going to have which parts of the apartment.  The front portion of the apartment, with bedroom and I think a stove which seemed to be part of an enclosed porch was where Dan was going to stay.  I was getting the kitchen area, the back bedroom (which was significantly larger than the front enclosed porch turned into a living area).  The main bedroom which I was taking also had a walk-in closet, as well as some furniture from the last renter that the owner said that I could have.  Namely, a table, end tables, and another futon. 
     I had some squabble with Dan as to what furniture in that room that he could have, but I settled it quickly with him letting him have the desk, chair and some of the clothes that could be found in the walk-in closet.  I kept the futon that had been left there on account that it would be used for guests staying there, as I was surely to have some guests in the time that I had moved there.  I remember as I was sorting out the room according to how I wanted it laid out, I was looking out the two windows that took up the opposite corner of the room (from the entrance to the bedroom and closet) and seeing that there was a moderately impressive back yard with grass and an old revolving clothes line set up out there. I remember that it was daylight, and that the windows were open and a breeze came into the house.
     The last thing that I remember was walking down the hallway in the kitchen that lead to the back door and the door to the owner’s apartment.  I had knocked on the door, and talked with her about the arrangements and what there was to do with the door between the apartments.
     She told me that the previous renter used to leave notes on the door as to what needed to be fixed within the apartment, and to leave the month’s rent money there as well.  She even showed me some of the notes that had been left by the previous renter as examples. 
     The funny thing was — one of the notes was of a paper Valentine’s Heart with the words "Fix me" on it. 

     I’ll say that this dream definitely is filled with all sorts of portents. I’m not sure whether some of the portents regarding the new apartment are because of moving, or simply a change in the way that I’ve been living the last three years.  And the "fix me" heart is clearly pointing to my fixing my own heart, that’s for certain. 

     *sighs* Yeah, it’s pretty apparent since D and I broke up in November that I’ve been in more than a sort of lull regarding picking myself and moving on from it.  Particularly given yesterday’s nonsense in my dreams.  This weekend, I was supposed to work on my profile information and look into either running personal like I did so many years ago or using some sort of dating/match service; but instead have been pretty doing my best to distract myself with the piddly and trivial projects and chores around the house and around the computer. 
     Should I be surprised by this?  No, not really.  It’s my typical modus operandi.  It’s just my way of getting myself properly torqued up until such time that I get sick of distracting myself with the smaller projects that I start paying attention to the issues at hand.  So, does anyone want to take bets when I’ll get sick of it?  I’m personally betting that it’ll be around February as I’m getting ready to think a bit about a holiday someplace else in the United States.  That’s usually how long it takes me lately.  Several months. 

     Until the next time.
Categories: Dreams

Entry 12/08/2008 12:30:45 AM – Mentat 461

12/08/2008 Comments off
     Good lord, the kind of dreams that I’ve been having for the last two days….  While I can figure out what caused me to have those dreams, at the same time I would like to understand precisely what it takes for me to have the right frame of mind to be impressionable enough to cause me to have the dreams that I have.  For example — yesterday I was talking to my aunt about March and the possibility of taking time off at that point (as I had mentioned in my last journal entry).  While I found out my aunt and uncle are going back to Aruba at the end of March. I told her of the places I had considered going to for a couple of days.  That night, I had a dream about doing the tourist thing through a city like Boston, because I was meeting up with friends that I had met there.  The dream did take a sharp turn in that it went from spending time with friends to having the ability to fly, and to take these giant leaps from the ground.  What makes it even weirder is that while I was in the apartment of the friends (who had been a couple), I remember it was quite bright in the house because it was sunny outside.  The three of us were in the kitchen, and I was checking out the architecture of the apartment (they had asked me about it because neither of them had any experience with architecture as I did).  After I explained the approximate date of the building and the apartment, and we had some sort of group hug because they were thankful for the information; the apartment went from being quaint to being dilapidated and almost post-war nuclear holocaust.  I went outside and began jumping from street to window ledge to street and so on to get down the street…  I don’t remember why I was doing it, but I do remember at one point having a camera to take pictures of the area. 
     Then last night, as I got home and was getting comfortable, I remember thinking a little about the story that I’ve been working on, and the dream that I had involved me having some pretty incredible super powers and trying to fight crime and evil.  Definitely one of the fun dreams to have, even if there was a bit of stress with it at one point…  I had telekinesis, the ability to control the elements, and even had incredible strength and regenerative powers.  Of course, no dream of mine would be complete without aliens (from UFO no less) being part of the sub-plot someplace.  Heh!  So in this dream, I was in a bank or an office and was fighting something like five different villains; one with super strength and looked like a misshapen gorilla, another that looked like a shark and had strength and the power to regenerate.  Don’t remember the other three, but they all had super strength.  I remember that they had been wearing me down through strength because they all knew that I had a limit for exerting myself before my abilities would begin to wane.  Even though they did wear me down and I had to retreat, I still had regenerative abilities which they couldn’t destroy me or kill me in the process. 
     In the next part of the dream, I was with a team of some sort — either military (army/marines) or mercenaries…  I couldn’t be sure as they weren’t wearing BDUs.  I was clearly the strongest out of them and they had relied on me to stop the aliens from taking possession of both them and the civilians in the area.  I remember that a couple of this team had been possessed and I wasn’t able to save them.  I can’t remember the rest, other than being in a building with those remaining, and hoping that whatever was happening would stop long enough for me to take action… 

     I seem to recall some years ago (back when I was living on Rosalia Street in Grant Park, Atlanta), that I think there’s a time about 1 /2 – 2 hours prior to my going to sleep, where my mind becomes extremely impressionable, and that whatever I’m watching or doing or thinking at the time will influence the dreams that I’m having.  Which I think was why because I used to watch something Sci-Fi will invariably cause me to have my infamous aliens-invading-earth dreams.  I’ll have to go through my journals back then to see whether I can find it…  Quite the chore believe me, because my journals back then were handwritten and was quite flowery and difficult to read through.  Wish me luck with that. 

     Got to watch Wall-E this week.  Cute and amusing are the two words that come readily to mind with it.  Sure there were some really sickly-sweet moments — particularly toward the end — but I admit that I did enjoy watching it.  I liked the way that EVE was borderline anti-social during some of the scenes involving Wall-E and being in danger.  And the scene with the misfit robots out in the main traffic area was positively camp.  I also liked the two shorts that were included with the movie:  Presto and Burn-E.  Presto was hysterical with the rabbit and the attitude he threw because he didn’t get the carrot that he was trying for at the beginning.  Burn-E reminded me too much of a combination of Dilbert-isms and my experience with pointy-haired management. 
     I think for this weekend, I’ll slosh through Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian; after all I bought it, I might as well pass some time watching it in the dead of night when most Daywalkers are in bed, and the only thing on television is Infomercials and wall-to-wall advertisements. 

     Not too much else to write about at the moment.  I think I’m off to work on a few more Apophysis Fractals, Lunch, and of course a little more on the short story…  I think that I worked through some of the block that I had going…  Until the next time.
Categories: Dreams

Entry 12/02/2008 09:40:16 PM – Mentat 459

12/03/2008 Comments off
     Definitely a strange dream last night.  Involving a visit with my brother (whom I haven’t talked with since our fight a couple of years ago) and being forced to be pleasant with (in spite of my inherent vitriol that I could feel in the dream as well), and another boyfriend dream that involves someone that has as much depth and as much personality as Keanu Reeves (AKA the Plank).  With my brother Jon, I found it particularly odd that the two of us were sitting on this long couch and we were talking about something, and I clearly remembered that he had turned 40 and had asked him about it and whether he noticed any of the changes that I felt when I turned 40 (which was practically nothing.  I felt more on my 18th birthday and then again on my 25th when I had my epiphany).  Jon didn’t respond to it, or if he did I wasn’t listening to him at all because I remembered that we had been estranged for a couple of years and woke myself up abruptly from that part of the dream by letting the Hellbeast back under the covers. 
     The second part of the dream involved being in a relationship with…  *gasps* someone that looked vaguely like Keanu Reeves.  I know that it was caused by my watching Arizona Sky and how the story had played out between the two characters — Jake and Kyle.  And I know the elements involving snow in the dream and being out there in the country someplace (not sure why I dreamed of the country, but I did), involved a couple of e-mails from friends asking about snow and the ever present Yankee mentality that snow just around the corner…  But Keanu Reeves…  *eye roll*  I can’t remotely stand the man’s acting.  As I’ve remotely described him in all his roles has been vapid, and a piece of wood could replace him and the story and character won’t change a stitch.  In real life, he is just as vapid and as burned out acting as he is in his characterization of Ted in Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventures.  Hell, 99x in Atlanta used to love playing his celebrity promo spot because he screwed up the name of the station 4 times in 20 seconds, and that was done at 3 in the afternoon and not the usual  7 – 9 AM EST (4 – 6 AM PST).  About the only thing worthwhile to mention about that dream was that I had him up on my shoulders (like I would a child) while I was talking to a friend outside by a fence between properties.  He didn’t seem to mind being up there, and was pretty quiet during most of that portion of the dream.  In fact, I don’t think I talked all that much with him from what little I remembered, other than convincing him to button up his pants as my friend was coming up the drive to the fence. 
     *sighs*  So those were my dreams…  Such as I remember what little of them that I do.

     Had an interesting movie night last night.  Sat there and cut through Arizona Sky, then Shinobi: Heart Under Blade, then Hellboy II & The Golden Army, then a couple of more episodes of UFO.  I can definitely see why people were disappointed with Hellboy II; visually speaking it was extravagant, from the Troll Market, to the Golden Army itself.  But the interaction between characters was certainly more vacuous the second time around…  It was almost as though the interactions were written by teenagers.  And personally I was disappointed with the portrayal of Elves within this story; they were almost demonic in stature and appearance.  Not quite the willowy, ethereal look that I typically experienced in fantasy stories.  Although I did like the way they died in this story — becoming a sort of stone statue that could easily be broken.  It’s also pretty clear that the same set designer for Pan’s Labyrinth had his hand in this movie.  The creatures were certainly out-of-this-world in the same way that they were in Pan’s.  Still though, I was sufficiently entertained by most of the elements to ignore the adolescent interchanges between the characters, and the entire premise of Johann Strauss to the story. 
     Shinobi: Heart Under Blade is a typical Japanese tragedy, that the people that reviewed it at Amazon and compared it as a ‘weak copy’ of Versus had positively no idea that they really shouldn’t be compared in the least.  I think what happened is that a couple of the reviewers in it saw that Tak Sakaguchi was in both movies and thought that because he was in both, that it was some sort of sequel.  What these reviewers often don’t realize is that while Japan has a population of just over 127 million; that there would be as many actors (successful and otherwise) as the US (over 305 million).  However, the various studios in Japan have a smaller number of actors than Hollywood which is why you’re more likely to see the same actors in various major and minor roles in movies…  Hell! Because Sakaguchi does have quite an extensive martial arts and choreography skills, he’s more likely to be used in action films than in classic romances (ones that don’t involve a lot of fighting in them)…   It’s a classic tragedy in which the children of two warring villages (the Iga and the Koga) fall in love in the middle of a power play of the Shogun who wants both villages destroyed because of the dark arts the two villages have mastered and that with his passing, no one will be able to control them as he had.  I rather liked it because of the way the interactions played out, although one of the Iga Shinobi had the sort of look (and insanity) all to reminiscent of Sephiroth from Final Fantasy VII.  Although his power of regeneration was pretty damned creepy (looked like he was filled with some sort of blood worms). 
     Arizona Sky was a quirky sort of love story involving two childhood friends that had grown apart because one had to move.  While it’s execution was awkward as hell, and the dialog choppy between the two, the spirit of the plot made sense and twinged a hell of a nostalgic response from me.  The music, naturally needed to be scrapped entirely as it had all the bullshit string plucks that I couldn’t stand of the porno-music for an R rated film – Brokeback Mountain.  And there were elements of the story that seemed to have been bolted on to change location.  It says that it’s happening in Arizona, but everything going on and much of the dialog is like it’s actually supposed to be happening in Oklahoma.  Although the movie does bring up some interesting questions… 
     Like why is it that there have been a slew of LGBT movies that have been thrown out in this century while trying to portray love between two men, often times completely avoid intimacy between two men.  Sure they kiss — but it’s like kissing a friend and not a long lost lover.  And in this movie (and in a couple of others that I’ve watched) when they’re lying there together that they’re just together in the scene because it’s required of them, but no proximity to say that they were in love.  I get the distinct impression it’s like "I’ll play gay, but don’t expect me to ACT gay" from many of the actors in these films.  Sad that it has to come to this once again in filmmaking — it’s the same crap I remember from actors back in the 80s.  Pity too, because I still have to play the substitution game with straight films still  (imagine it being two men, or two women instead of man and woman). 

     Tuesday night…  I’ve been properly caffeinated and am looking at quite a pile of clothes that needs to be done.  Went through my routines this morning, checking the various sites for mail, for spam and for good pieces of artwork and came across this one http://rearranging.deviantart.com/art/I-Stand-105274246 which gave me an interesting warm & fuzzy feeling.  It’s nice to see romance is still alive and well in this day and age, even if it’s a rare, fair feature in some.  Along with the right elements of pride and self-esteem.  And I admit, seeing that picture and the poem does in fact renew a little of the hope that I still keep deep in my heart. 

     Well, that’s about it for the time being.  I need to be off to do my laundry and get something to eat for supper.  Until the next time.

Categories: Dreams

Entry 06/15/2008 10:30:04 AM – Mentat 417

06/15/2008 Comments off
     It seems that there was some excitement here last night that I slept through because I had a beer before I went to bed.  My aunt tells me that last night at about 3 in the morning, she had woken up to head to the bathroom and when she was coming back, she saw some light from the front of the house.  Thinking that my uncle was up and was having a small bout of insomnia, made a comment aloud, "I hope he’s not up."  She tends to think aloud usually when she’s tired. 
     As she headed to the front of the house, she saw someone with a flashlight going through the front window.  Naturally after whoever it was that was gone, she had done a quick check to ensure that nothing was stolen, and to also lock the windows.
     I urged her this morning after she told me this that she should call the police and report it, if only to ensure that more cruisers come to this side of the world for the next couple of weeks, as thieves tend to make another attempt sometimes if they think the house has something to steal.  She’s taking it pretty casually, for right now she’s off with my uncle to morning mass. 
     Strange though that they didn’t go through the front door, as it had been removed the last couple of days, with it only being a locked screen door. My aunt and uncle have been working on getting the door stripped and re-varnished because the paint job on it was getting old and cracked.  But instead they went through that particular window because the screen on it comes off easily and is the window they use for the air conditioner for July and August. 
     My aunt’s also talked about keeping those windows locked, but what’s weird about that is that they went through the front windows on the porch, which has more than enough lighting from the street lamps for anyone in the neighborhood and anyone driving through to see what was going on.  While I know it’s a really quiet neighborhood, at the same time, there are occasional folk driving up and down the street, as I’ve been out there on the porch at that time in the morning, either talking on the phone with D, enjoying the night air either because I’m going through a bout of insomnia myself, or as Nightbreed because it was coolest at that time in the summer. 
     We’ll see how this turns out when she gets back…

     Had a moderately disturbing dream that had left me pretty uneasy when I woke up to the alarm this morning.  I know it was multiple dreams that were sort of slapped together by my conscious mind, as it had covered several states, and at least three themes.  The first part of the dream involved me traveling to Pittsburgh or Philadelphia — I don’t exactly remember which, but I did know that it was in PA as I thought about Jeannie in it.  I was in town with several other people that I had personally known, but in reality I have no idea who they were.  One of them had to get to the hospital because there was something wrong with him and that he needed to get to the hospital for some sort of treatment that he has missed.  I went with him and stayed for a while, noticing that I needed to be at the emergency room because there had been blood on my thigh. 
     Getting to the hospital with my friend, and seeing the waiting room was filled with people, I knew that I personally had a long wait ahead of me whatever the problem was — as I was still conscious — I would probably be last in.  My friend had priority not because of the treatment that he needed to have done, but that he had been inpatient before and still had his medical bracelet on, so he would be escorted to the right place quickly for the treatment that he need to have performed.
     I got a medical bracelet myself at one point, but the wait was still going to be long for me, so I left. 
     The next part of the dream I was on some sort of tour or bus trip along the coast of a lake (I think). I was traveling with several older folk and at one point on the bus tour, we were able to get out of the bus and take a walk along the shores.  While on the shores, I had found an old wind-up toy car that looked like it had been made sometime in the 40s or 50s.  It had been water-logged having been along the shore of the water and while I think it worked, I handed over to the older woman telling her that she needed to let it dry out first before trying to wind it up.
     She told me that she remembered owning a toy like this when she was a child, and thanked me for giving it to her. 
     I then began looking through the water and came across a huge piece of rutilated quartz.  This piece of quartz also seemed to have been fractured and would crumble when I applied pressure.  It was weird because it was acting more like rock candy than quartz.  I had broken off a bigger piece of it and used the remainder to polish off the rougher edges.  I gave a piece of it to the bus driver, and the remainder to anyone that was interested in having a piece, keeping the piece that I worked on for myself. 
     A couple of days later, I was back in the city that I had left.  I was feeling better, and there was no evidence of whatever happened to me that caused me to bleed could be found.  I made my way back to the hospital that I had originally waited in for treatment, and knowing that because I still had the medical bracelet on me would have priority. 
     Showing it to the nurse/receptionist, she had a conniption.  She told me that the problem that I had could be fatal if it hadn’t been treated immediately, and that in my disappearance, it could have serious ramifications for her career. 
     I told her that I could be more than discrete, and covered for her if they ask me questions about this.  I was completely oblivious to just how life-threatening my situation was. 
     The last thing that happened in the dream was my watching her walk away toward the Treatment Rooms and me being annoyed that I would have to cover for her, when it was her fault to begin with. 

     I think I found that my having some life-threatening problem and being completely oblivious to it was the most disturbing portion of the dream.  Particularly given that I was more concerned with this nurse’s pride and keeping the discretion that she screwed up than with my own condition.  While I’ve been in positions where I’ve been on the verge of death, other people’s pride and vanity is usually the last thing that I care about in those situations.  I care for their compassion, I sympathize for their issues — but it has never been over something as petty as someone’s job. 
     I was glad that the alarm woke me up from it, and I did go back to sleep for about an hour before my body realized that I’ve gotten something like 8 hours of sleep and I’ve slept enough. 

     Well that’s about it for the time being.  I have an e-mail that I need to write to someone that I haven’t talked to in some years, and another for D that I’ve been stumbling through like a complete retard.  I’m trying to write something inspirational, but for the life of me, it’s either coming out feeling completely sappy, or missing the points that I’m trying to make entirely.  Maybe if I get a little bit more coffee and stop trying too hard in writing it, I might have better luck.  *crosses fingers*  Until the next time.

Categories: Dreams

Entry 02/03/2008 10:46:09 AM – Mentat 386

02/03/2008 Comments off
     On Saturday night and both D and I were surviving one of our patented "all-nighters" that we had done the night before and we had done the first two months that he and I had first met…  Because the two of us because we had finally gotten ourselves a routine sleeping pattern are finding it a bit difficult to keep awake without feeling completely drag-ass at the moment.  He had conked out for a quick nap about 2 – 3 PM (his time) and I followed sometimes around 6 – 7 (my time).  During the remainder of the night I was being his sort of muse while he’s working on Chapter 4 of the story that he’s been uploading to Fiction-Press.  And me?  Well, I’m too drag-assed to want to write or edit the story I’ve been working on; even though I did get the chance to a little bit earlier before I got too tired to want to try. 
     D passed out around 9:30 PM his time…   I passed out around 1 AM my time — because I was already well into being over-tired and it was near impossible for me to stop my brain from dancing around a million thoughts at once, and had to wait ’til whatever adrenalin I had left in my system to burn out. 
     I slept well, getting in about 8 hours of sleep…  And D?  Well, it’s almost 8 AM his time and he’s not up.  I don’t think he’s slept all the way through, but I have a good feeling that he’s slept a good majority of it, waking up sometime around 3 only to go back to sleep around 5’ish.  We’ll see when he drags himself out of unconsciousness to send me the first message of the day.  *smiling*      

     Since the last journal entry, I’ve filed my State and Federal Income Tax, and instead of going through the electronic filing that I had last year, decided to file it the traditional way because I was feeling particularly cheap and didn’t want to pay the charges for advanced filing through the usual sources.  At almost $1,400 between both State and Federal, I want every penny of it for when I have to move and when I plan the trip that I want to plan for heading west to meet/greet D.  Plus if the other money comes through that has been announced in the news ($600 single/$1200 family) from the Federal Gov’t as sanctioned by Bush and his wretched administration, I might be able to swing another trip sometime in the summer, depending on what’s going on with me, work and what not.
     Checked out the cost of the flight and the hotel, and with a single stop and 5 days, I could get a hotel near to the airport for just under $800.00.  Not too bad considered the costs.  Heh, of course, they had some hotels for significantly cheaper, but the problem is that they’re like 90 or so miles from the airport.  Ummm, thanks but no. 
     I’m anticipating that I’ll have my returns sometime in the next 2 1/2 weeks, maybe three…  Depending on how many others take advantage of the early filing (like I have for the last 10 or so years).  More on this when I actually get the money from the government… 

     I admit that I’ve been in a really weird mood the last couple of days…  No doubt a response to the impending cabin fever that I invariably go through about this time of year, and coupled with the post-holiday slump that I’ve experienced the last couple of years since surviving Rick’s Christmas Insanity™…  The best way to describe it is a combination of impatience, short attention, less than sharp intellect, and my personal favorite — being easily bored with just about everything that I routinely would do that I find joy or comfort in. 
     It’s annoying to say the least, given that it makes for what appears to be a short-temper with me as well, and I don’t want to be too short-tempered with the right people in my life, if you know what I mean.  I might have to force myself out a bit more if only to break me of the feelings of cabin fever and my short temperedness until the spring comes.

     Had a hell of a dream last night which was a combination of elements that did some really bizarre meshing in my head.  I had gone into the Matrix, and I was a sort of Neo in my ability to control the elements of the Matrix in a way that defied the rules of it.  I was studying under a man that was causing some sort of terrorist activity on the subway system of the city that was part of the Matrix generator.
     What he was doing was setting specified explosive charges on specific trains that came through this stop and I was there to either assist in setting some of the charges on some of the trains, or to distract anyone that could possibly interfere with his plans.  Of course, I was told to keep my eyes and my senses peeled for any agents that came onto the scene.  We had set something like four charges, three on trains used to transport various materials to a processing plant, and one that was a passenger transport.  According to the man that was my sort of supervisor, the particular passenger train we were setting the charges on also served as some sort of troop transport. 
     After the first charge was set, we saw an ore transport coming up the track, being conducted by someone that was part of this resistance.  He was an older man, with gray hair and just a little overweight in a pair of overalls.  He looked in our direction and nodded, and unhitched the train from the ore carrier for us so that we could set the second charge.  When it was done with some difficulty on my part, he re-hitched the train back up to the transport, and was on his way down another tunnel from the subway. 
     After setting the third charge we had taken a break and hid in the back area of the subway station where some of the others that had jacked into the Matrix were waiting as well for either new assignments, or before they would move out and back to their transports. 
     One of them had asked me what was so special about me, and what I did was touch the bubbler (water fountain) and made it start by my will.  He had commented that it wasn’t possible for me to do it, and I repeated my ability by stopping it by my will.
     I had commented to them that this was my second mission, and that I was surprised that I had been chosen for this mission considering that my talents were only just developing. 
     We had broken up from hiding in the back areas of the station, and I remember that just as we were setting the charges on the fourth train (the passenger train), a shorter, older woman with thick glasses, and unkempt hair had come up and started talking with the man that was supervising me.  She seemed naïve to what we had been doing, although she was observant enough to know that what we were doing wasn’t right. 
     I was about to intervene, when the man that had been supervising me gave her a hug and said that he was glad to see her.  He introduced me to this woman, informing me she was also an operative.
     She gave me a hug, and said something to me that I don’t remember now, and she also disappeared into the crowds that were getting on the train. 
     Just then, I saw coming from the bathroom area, a familiar flash.  An agent had come into someone there and all the operatives in the area were in danger.  I warned everyone that an agent had come into the bathroom area, and everyone began scattering.
     I got on the next train with the man that was supervising me, and looking out the window, one of the other operatives had missed her chance and had to run into the tunnels.  I remember she looked incredibly like a younger version of Sandra Oh and wearing this combination dress/pant suit in red and black, and that she had a clear look of fear on her face when she went running into the tunnel. 
     I remember sitting with the man that was my supervisor toward the back of the train and like him tried to look as blankly and as inconspicuous as the rest of the passengers in the car. 
     The next thing I remember was that I was working alone, and that I had come into a processing plant on the outskirts of the city.  I knew that agents were usually found there, however on this particular mission, I knew that they were pulled elsewhere.  I remember commenting on how bright it was outside, although I also knew that the outside of this was merely a construct of the Matrix. 
     Just as I was about to enter the building, I realized that there was an agent in there, and instead of being able to complete my mission there, I had to back out and run for my life before he knew I was there.
     The last thing that I remember was heading down a long set of stairs from the processing plant, into the full light of day, heading toward the city where I could disappear and escape. 

     Definitely an interesting dream… 
     Well that’s about it for the time being.  Off to finish my chores and work on something for brunch.  Until the next time.
Categories: Dreams