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The Sleeper has Awakened

09/12/2017 Comments off

Entry 09/12/2017 11:00:45 AM – Mentat 1246

It’s been quite a while since I’ve actually posted much of anything public. Heck, the last time I think I did, it was either my annual examination which I remember vividly I positively despised going through (there’s still moments where I don’t exactly remember what I was doing through the remainder of the day after the anesthesia) or the time I was questioning my continued career in Information Technology. With the former, I’m looking forward to my annual next month, although fortunately for me, there will neither be a proctology examination nor a prostate examination. That will be saved for another few years of which I guarantee I will be saying no to. There’s only just so much of that pre-prep that I want to go through; and what I still vividly recall wasn’t remotely “fun”. I also know my doctor isn’t going to be happy with me. While I’ve gotten back into the swing of things about walking 10,000 steps a day, it was only started this month, so not only am I more than a lot out of shape, but the lethargy as caught up with me.

But that’s something I know that I can weather.

The primary reason why I’m writing is the fact that tomorrow is going to be my 38th anniversary for coming out of the closet. Yeah, I’m still going on strong about being that sort of presence — although it’s often far from the community at large. Since my grandmother’s “gift” has struck me a couple of years ago, it often feels more like the father confessor for anything someone might have on their mind if they see me and decide to open up. Sometimes it’s about sexuality or sexual identity. Sometimes it’s about the plight of the homeless looking for a handout or a suggestion on where to go. Most times it’s about the frustration in local government. I don’t mind any of it really; for as long as I can do what I want to do after those moments, I’m perfectly all right with the interruptions.

While I won’t be able to have a beer (or a six pack as it used to be), thanks largely to the hypertension medicines I’m on, I will be enjoying a bit of Chocolate and Almond Ice Cream tomorrow night instead. What can I say? You might take the club-kid wannabe out of me, but my love of chocolate is still more than happily going strong.

As I said, I’ve gotten back into the swing of things with the walking, but that’s because I’m also (finally) working an assignment at one of the regional banks working the Unix tickets and streamlining the process of the batch files attached to the centralized servers. While I don’t have the coding experience for the batch scripting and having to rely on another of the full time coders that’s attached to another team, I can use my skills from Helpdesk along with managing a team (so to speak) to getting things done. This project is supposed to last a year, but I’m not entirely sure whether I will be able to get it past six months given that it would take that long for me to learn how to code like the contact I have within the company.

It definitely pays well and I should be able to get a stipend going with it by the time I’m through with the contract/assignment.

I also did a massive faux pas on my first day of work. Went with the confirmed business casual approach to dressing for the contact and decided to wear the pair of shoes I used to wear at Lifespan when I was working the floor for at least the last six months I had been working there. Thought they had been broken in as I never had a problem wearing them and walking around the massive office through the night. I think I wore them once walking home from the bus-stop over a weekend and while there was a bit of discomfort, I thought I remembered that happening closer to the time that I first bought them.

Walked to Kennedy Plaza with them and by the time I got to the Hilton (the old Holiday Inn at the corner of Atwells and the on-ramp to 95, the back of my feet were already bleeding. Completely tore up the back of my ankles by the end of the day making the next two weeks of walking to and from Kennedy Plaza completely painful. The back of my left ankle seems to have taken the worse and while it still hurts more than a little, at least I’m able to walk near to my usual pace without feeling like I’m agony making the attempts.

Since the last time I’ve written, I’ve befriended a gay men in the area (hell, within a mile of my neighborhood) which I was fortunate he was understanding of my anti-social tendencies through the summer this year. It’s been fun getting together every couple of weeks (well months, but this will be changing in the next week now that it’s going into autumn) chatting about this and that… Like two old men comparing notes about anything we can think about. There’s moments where it gets a bit rough as he’s definitely attracted to me, but can’t say the feeling’s mutual (remotely). At least he doesn’t press the issue too often and it hasn’t reached the point where I would want to run away and keep distance from that feeling of desperation. At least the good news is that it gets me out of the house routinely enough that I’m not going stir-crazy with Moe.

I’ve also been in touch with a friend from Rhode Island that I haven’t heard from in more than a decade. Originally I met and befriended him around 25 years ago, but shortly after breaking up with Darin and moving south, we sort of lost touch with each other. Then while I was living in Ormewood Park (or was it just as I was moving to Druid Hills), he reached out to me briefly before losing touch again. He’s currently living on the West Coast and in spite of his saying that he’s bad at keeping in touch, he’s doing better this time around. Would like to see how this continues to go.

Speaking of Moe, that good old codger of a cat has become more skittish than ever. Runs and hides under the slightest provocations, sometimes for hours at a time. Eventually he’ll either come out from under the bed, or out of the closet (depending on where he decided to hide) and act as though nothing’s happened to cause him to bolt.

He’s also become even more talkative than Cricket ever was. Seems to like hearing the sound of his own voice more than Cricket ever did and will talk to me from the time I get back home from work, to following me to the sink area for a treat, to even just prior to going to bed at the end of the day. It’s not as though there’s anything wrong with him; when I pick him up and walk around the house, he stops mewing at me. Or when we’re falling asleep he’ll quiet down quickly enough and eventually pass out as I do. It’s just that he seems to like talking is all.

Finally, I’m still happily gaming during my down time. While I might not be playing Star Trek: Online as much now as I used to a year ago, when I do play it, it’s more in a maintaining action than anything. Even though I’m a lifetime subscriber, the game simply doesn’t have the quality of replayability I expect it to have. This might change soon or it might not but as I said… Maintaining action.

Warframe has also sort of taken a back seat as of late since I’ve completed the star map as well as collect/scan all the Cephalon Fragments on all the planets. Now that I’m through with those, as I was thinking earlier, I’m going to need to set myself up some new personal goals for the coming sessions. Whether this is going to be to complete all the missions/side quests that I still have in the queue, work on the various weapons & warframes for my Mastery Rank, get involved in the Trials and Sorties more, or even more relic farming/cracking remains to be seen.

Next month I’m coming up on my one year anniversary with Elite: Dangerous. And like I’ve said to friends time and time and time again: with that game I maintain this love-hate relationship with the physics of that game. I tried getting involved with a player group and later the various streamers and denizens from the player group that could be found on Twitch, but quickly butted heads with one person that accused me of doing something that I wasn’t remotely doing. Apparently I accused him of lying.

The main problem with this is I don’t mince words when it comes to accusing anyone of anything. If I think them I liar, they’ll know it the instant I open my mouth or type my thoughts. If anything I normally defer to their experience as they tend to be with a game longer than I’ve been. However, when he passed summary judgement on what I was saying — which I refuted the entire time — it turned into that ever annoying feminine minefield of, “well you must be calling me a liar” and then took action accordingly.

So I divorced myself from the player group within the first month (of my joining the group) and the first head-butting with this individual, and a day after the time he accused me of calling him a liar. To date I haven’t been back and I don’t recommend anyone playing E:D to checking them out, with the exclusion of someone that I still deeply respect. Heh, the same person that recommended me to join their group. Even then it’s usually sparingly given that person I butted heads with also goes to his channel.

I’ve been making a few casual friends within the game and apparently from the E:D sits Inara. There’s been no pressure to join any other user groups, and those that I chat with in game or Inara are decent enough folk to be hanging around with. I haven’t winged-up with any of them, but I’m sure that when I get back into the Bubble from this deep space exploration mission, they will more than happily do so.

And that’s my life in a nutshell. I’m still alive. I’m not being creative (but that might be changing shortly), and I’m doing well for everything that’s not been going on with my life. I’m usually around… Lurking. So if you find a way to chat with me, hit me up. I’ll listen and put in my two cents.

Until the next time.

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The Throes of Summer

08/08/2016 Comments off

Entry 08/07/2016 05:00:00 AM – Mentat 1147

Having failed to take a nap for a second time this afternoon, when I shambled my ass out of bed a little while ago, it had dawned on me that I couldn’t for the life of me remember the last time I wrote a diary entry that would go out to the world.  The first question that came to mind was, “has it been that long?”  followed closely by the stampede of, “if I can’t remember, it must be that long…”  with, “nah, it couldn’t be…”, mixed with feelings that old age has begun to get the better of me, through the fleeting thought of Alzheimer scares.  It was promptly concluded with checking one of the two sites that I routing visit (though rarely post to) confirming it was almost three months since the last time I had the gumption to posting anything to the world.  Though you can tell by the numerical system I have traditionally used for my entries that it’s been a mere 59 entries since then.  Eh, I’m not surprised really.

Some of the events that have occurred since the last time I sat down to write includes some of the following insanity:

For Emancipation Day, I have deleted my account from Deviant Art.  The straw that broke the camel’s back on that was watching the management of a chat area I used to frequent either tripping over their tampon string or channeling the worst possible elements of Scorned Woman Syndrome.  I watched with horror as my perspective of the place transformed to a niche area for sanity and artistic good nature to exactly as it’s been laid out on the Encyclopedia Dramatica entry.  While it was a good 8 years there which I had been introduced to the site thanks to Damion — after that incident of ban-hammering people for the slightest transgressions — I felt it was long since time I moved on.  While I’m in a lull when it comes to fractal art at the moment, my art can typically be found on WordPress and Flickr where I continue to maintain my presence even if it’s a shadow of my former self.

Thanks largely to the media circus of the Presidential Elections here in my country, I’ve been avoiding sharing my opinion on any of the normal sites that I still frequent as well: namely Twitter, Facebook and Google+.  There have been times I’ve considered completely deleting my account from Facebook given my family and at least 1 friend has gone of their rockers and posting/re-sharing based on ad hominem feelings against the candidates.  And there have been more than a handful of times none of them have done any fact checking their re-shares, which is enough to get my knickers in a twist as I’m sitting there and having to perform the fact-checking necessary for peace of mind.  What’s funny is that I tend to either respond to completely superfluous wall-entries, or food if only to prove I’m still alive.

I think this dour attitude of mine started on Twitter when a former work-mate had been blasting tweets in a deluge fashion neither fact checking either, or worse, simply whinging for the sake of it, about government, about freedoms curtailed and even about first world problems.  There had been numerous times during his tweet spamming that I thought about commenting sharply in his direction, “…if you want change in government, become an activist…  don’t blast your woes in 140 characters hoping others will make those changes for you…”  Instead, I tried out the feature of Muting and have been happier with the clear lack of noise and friction from that part of the world.

Consequently I’ve been doing the same on Facebook with moderate success.  Still, the impulse to delete my account there exists even if it’s a bit quieter.

I have (once again) lost complete interest in television.  While I don’t tend to watch too much I think I’ve completed watching to the last series finale two shows since the beginning of the year:  Shadowhunters and The FlashDaredevil I gave up after episode 3 into the second season because while Jon Bernthal was believable in his role of Frank Castle (Punisher), there was something off-putting about the intensity.  I believe it had something to do with just how bloody angst-riddled the character was.  I never got back into Jessica Jones because every episode I watched of that, I felt like I needed a bath…  in Clorox… to get over the feeling of just how dirty I felt watching it.  Anything else, I stopped my re-watches to try to get back into the shows after a long hiatus from them…  All because of the amount of tropes I was catching in them snapping the back of my ability to suspend my disbelief with a sickening crack.

The biggest disappointment out of my television woes goes to Legends of Tomorrow having bailed on that show after the second episode.  While I was sort of looking forward to seeing Arthur Darvill again since his departure from Doctor Who, the reality distortions of him playing Rip Hunter — (ex-)Member of the Time Masters — were just too much for me to separate the juxtaposition from Time Lords and Doctor Who.  Well that and watching (Wentworth) Miller and (Dominic) Purcell being together since Prison Break also utterly distorted my ability to suspend disbelief as well.

Movies have suffered worse since March.  While I found myself morbidly enjoying Henry Rollins’ performance in He Never Died, remember liking the humor of Deadpool, and waiting patiently for Brenton Thwaites to being shirtless in Gods of Egypt (it didn’t happen); my interest in Allegiant disappeared within the first five minutes when the movie had to establish that the outside world announced those living in Chicago to come out of the walls (which never happened in the book).  Batman v Superman: The Dawn of Justice within 10 minutes where they had to retcon Affleck in the Metropolis destruction scenes from Man of Steel.  I shut that movie off when there Affleck is, squatting down giving the girl a hug and looking all angry at the fight between Zod and Superman that recalled this skit from Jack Whitehall.  Yep, I bailed faster than you can say, ‘off like a kelly-green, polyester prom dress…’ And as far as I can tell — there’s nothing on the horizon at the moment that I would want to see — and that’s not going to be changing in the months to come.

The deskside has been converted to Windows 10…  finally.  Two days before the deadline to boot.  I wanted to do a clean install on the system drive without taking up more space with the messy conversion from Windows 7.  I also wanted to confirm that with the Product Key I have for Windows 7 Ultimate would convert to Windows 10 Pro.  It did.  Well that and I wanted to ensure all the bugs I had experienced with Windows 10 on my laptop would have been completely smoothed out by the time I got it on the deskside.  With it, I still have more than one language pack loaded in (English and Japanese based on my experience with both), Bitlocker, and the Policy Editor for passwords and password control (among other features too numerous to mention based on Active Directory skills I’m familiar with).  Since installing Windows 10, I’ve also set the password locally (in spite of the mistake of installing an app from the Microsoft Store that had changed my login to my Hotmail account).  So we’ll see if the password change reminder is working correctly with Windows 10 as it stopped working in Windows 7 a long time ago.  Now all I have to do is get all the specialized words in the custom dictionary loaded back up…  Something that never made the backup from the old system to the new.  Eh, a small loss on the whole if I do say so myself.

My UPS of 8 years is beginning the slow process of dying the slow death and the battery is no longer working according to spec.  While I’m sure that I could get a replacement battery for the thing (and install it on my own), the fact is that at least 2 of the plugs in the back (on the surge suppressor side) have suffered damage of some sort or another and are no longer operating properly so, it’s better to be safe than sorry.  While the replacement UPS (same make and model) should be in sometime this week, I need to play extra-carefully running the PC and Air Conditioners in this house ensuring I neither brown-out or blow a fuse.  When the house has a brown-out and tries to draw power from the battery as a boost, it will shut down the UPS (and the computer) abruptly; pretty much the same as a blackout.  The alarms will sound, I will check to ensure it’s not a blown fuse and then I have to take 20 minutes to reset the UPS and then bring the PC back up.  Not fun.

Summer has been annoying here in the Tundras of New England.  There have been a few moments where the weather’s been beautiful for the summer months, there have been more times where the raging humidity has made it impossible for me to either sleep or exercise.  While it hasn’t been as bad as I remember living in the South more than a decade ago, as I’ve become acclimated to the weather of the north — there have been more than a few moments where I felt like I should be melting onto the sidewalk because the heat and humidity.  Since taking the medications for Hypertension, I swear I’ve become far more irritable with the high humidity than I used to be last year as I seem to want more comfortable temperatures around the house.  Hence the want for running the A/C whenever possible.  In fact, since I’ve become more used to taking these medicines and being more aware of the body changes, I could swear I can tell the difference between a Northern Thunderstorm and a Southern.   Northern storms are wet, cooler and don’t have half of the amount of heat and ambient humidity as they are in the south.

Because of this and the fact that I’m warned against prolonged exposure to strong direct sunlight, walking has become a more difficult now than during the Autumn through Spring Months.  Because of it, I’ve done my best to keeping busy when I can, and definitely adjusting my intake when I can’t.  I’ve slacked more than I should and while I’m not getting 10,000+ steps a day, I try my best to keeping as active as possible with the 250 steps/hour challenge currently being offered.  This has been making Moe pretty damned happy as he seems to like being picked up and  held over my shoulder as I walk around the house.  About the only thing he doesn’t seem to like is being in the rooms with A/C on.  Something about it being cooler than usual along with the noise that they make seems to be off-putting to him, so off to the un-air conditioned bedroom he goes during the day.  Doesn’t seem to mind the heat other than the occasional loneliness of me not being around so he’ll make his way out of there to check up on me.

And with that, I’ve covered everything — pretty much — for the last couple of months.  Off to meet the day as I always do..  On the bridge of the USS Retrospect fighting enemies of the Federation or being a Tenno checking out the Origin System of the Orokin.  I haven’t decided which as both entertain me more than television ever could.