A Couch Potato’s Review of Godzilla (2014)

A Couch Potato’s Review of Godzilla (2014)

I know that it’s been a long time since I’ve sat down and written a review on anything, but that doesn’t mean that I haven’t been watching the good, the bad, the ugly, the awful and the truly toxic Hollywood (and various independent productions) have to offer. No, it just meant that I haven’t had the want, the desire, the panache or the gumption to critique them publicly. There’s been a couple of movies and even a book that I tore into in my journal, I decided as a sort of “return” I was going to sit and give a go with the American Re-Remake of a B-Movie Japanese Cult classic. While I might not go into the blow-by-blow details of the movie as I used to, there will be some spoilers based on the scenes that I had issues with.

The long and the short of it is that American Directors and Producers just don’t quite get it. They came close in this movie – certainly infinitely closer than the abortion of a Roland Emmerich film at the turn of the century. The problem is that there’s too much cultural differences between Japan and America that makes it near to impossible for Americans to truly get it. That and of course, Americans suffer a really bad problem with what I like to call the “wouldn’t it be cool, if…” Syndrome in trying to one up everything that they want to touch. This movie is of course no exception to that syndrome as this movie tried to also pile in way too healthy heapings of American Heroism (otherwise known as Individual Heroism), a Love story, and the usual hippy like fervor against all things military.

So I’ll admit that I didn’t actually buy this DVD. I decided on taking advantage of The Pirate Bay with the exclusive intent that if this movie was good enough, I’d actually spend the money on getting it from my local Wal*Mart or cheapskate store that sells them when they reach bargain bin. The first thing I noticed of course – besides the glowing praise of a good DVD rip – as the anger (and disgust) form leechers from around the world that Americans were once again trying their hand at a Japanese Monster Movie once again. One of the most comical comments I read was the one that said, “Bryan Cranston’s in it, and any movie that has Bryan Cranston in it can’t be bad…” The response to that was, “[Cranston] dies within 15 minutes of the film, and after that it blows chunks…”

I chuckled at it while I picked up the magnet for it and while watching it, realized it wasn’t entirely true. Cranston’s character was pronounced dead at 42 minutes into it.

Sure there were some names in this film after Cranston dies – the scientist played by Ken Watanabe, the Navy Admiral played by David Strathairn – but on the whole, it was a film of mostly unknown and untried actors. So far, that’s about right given that Sony (then Toho) Studios but I think the true reason was because anyone that remembers the names that worked in the Emmerich Abomination™ (Reno, Savant and Broderick) would run away from the thought of doing a remake for the sake of their careers and unborn children. Or as an agent would tell the actor they represent, “Take my advice and if anyone asks why you didn’t audition for the role, tell them… you weren’t available…”

Unlike the Emmerich Abomination™, it was decided to have two different monsters in this film: Godzilla and a male (and female) MUTO (Massive Unknown Terrestrial Organism). Americans missed the mark here, but this is because of a cultural difference more than anything else. The Japanese love giving everything a label or a name that stands out. Mothra, Gyaos, Gamera, Hedora and on and on and on. Americans love their acronyms. So instead of giving it a name – usually done by the scientist – they gave it an acronym clearly indicating that they’re not going to last.

One of the points American Producers and Director seem to have finally clued into was that Godzilla wasn’t actually the villain. Barring the original 1954 release that was more a warning of the hubris of man that caused a creature to make the potential extinction of mankind – like they did in the Emmerich Abortion™ – Godzilla was there mucking up the US Navy and San Francisco to get at the MUTO to “restore balance” to the planet. While this message was more than a bit heavy-handed – something only Americans seem to love to do – at least the scale, fire-breathing monster didn’t go all hating on the silly Homosapiens that often were in its path.

Another thing that seemed to have been missed is how the scientist was pretty much ignored by the military. While it’s not entirely surprising given that a majority of Hollywood’s producers, directors and productions houses absolutely abhor the military (by making them appear as tank-brained, war mongers) at least it seemed that the military was out for the common good of the people. While this might come close to what I remember of the military in the tons of monster movies I’ve been watching since I was a child, it still gets a mark against it as Americans don’t seem to entirely understand how the military still deferred to the scientists that had been studying the monster(s). Then again this is definitely a cultural difference that doesn’t translate well to American Individualism.

I find myself torn on the level of panic and the amount of focus TPTB had on the “little people” in this film. What I mean is the hero’s medical wife, his son and the people that were being evacuated from the epicenter of monster destruction. This also includes the Golden Gate Bridge and Levi’s Stadium (or was it supposed to be AT&T Park? I don’t know and frankly I didn’t care to stick around to check it in the credits) where the survivors collected in the aftermath. While I understand the importance of showing panicking humans when it comes to a rampaging set of monsters destroying the town you’re living in, there seemed to have way too much focus on the twanging of the good old heart-strings of family reunions. While it has always existed in the monster movies I’ve watched, at the same time it seemed too focus on the individualism of the panicked instead of simply using them to show the orderly evacuation of the affected people from the epicenter.

And finally, the TPTB missed the “magic” of Godzilla. While they did a good job trying to show how unstoppable Godzilla was, they seemed to have spent too much time trying to establish the reality of an atomic mutated, unstoppable, fire-breathing monster from the prehistoric past, they missed the point that Godzilla was never really… well, real. Making him real was too surreal. And in doing that it ruined any magic we might have remembered of Godzilla from our childhood.

Bottom Line: While my vitriol went down as the movie progressed, I couldn’t shake the feeling that while this was a better attempt at an Americanized version of the Japanese icon, Americans still aren’t quite getting it because of a combination of cultural differences and what I’ve seen of my generation trying to make what they grew up with… well grow up with them. They miss the biggest point in that some things don’t need to be matured: and this was one of them. It’s worth a one-watch, but “owning” it? No, it’s really not worth it.

Hot Days, Cool Days, Scares and Contemplations

Entry 05/30/2014 09:59:56 AM – Mentat 701

So it’s hit my attention this week that the program that I had originally thought of showing the douchebag landlord on better organizing the work that he needed to dole out to his “employees” is closing in less than a month. Springpad — a program that I had only modestly attempted to use — is set to close 25, June (which on my calendar is coincidentally Emancipation Day). Of course, the folk at Springpad are suggesting I move my data to Evernote, which I’m having issues at the thought for a couple of reasons. The first has to do with the fact that the icon for it, the elephant, while it symbolizes the memory of an elephant never forgetting, instead gives me the feeling of being huge and bulky… The second (and more importantly), shortly after considering the migration, I was met with problems. You see, I never set up an account with Springpad — having opted to use my Google+ account login instead. Then, I was mat with problems migrating. And finally after thinking, “oh not a problem, I’ll go through the export and decided to import it into Evernote instead.” That’s all well and good, but what I was greeted with once I finished the e-mail verification was advertising to “Go Premium”.

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate when a company that offers a good product is looking for money from their user-base (to expand the use). If their product is good, then yeah, I’ll throw money in their direction. What I don’t like seeing is the advertisement for that money on every screen that I’m on when I’m trying to use their product. That’s way too invasive (not to mention desperate) for my taste. So, three minutes after creating the account and seeing the costs for use and ‘Go Premium’, there I went deleting the account. Screw them and screw that. I only need it for an organized (and mobile) to-do list or six. I didn’t really use Springpad for picture and recipes, etc. What won out for what I have been looking for was Google’s Keep.

I might have considered using OneNote instead (and still do when it comes to the desktop), but the problem is that since transferring to an iPhone instead of a WM or another Droid, the manner for which synching information between phone and desktop is… well, messy. Not to mention relies entirely too much on SkyDrive: a product a lot of multi-platform users have had issues (security, taste and synching concerns) with the product on the Mac Forums. So in the end, Keep was precisely what I was looking for without all the hipster bullshit associated to sites like *dry heave* Pinterest or Evernote.

Still… it’s sad that Springpad’s being discontinued, although stumbling across an article while looking for the replacement for Springpad’s service I found a posting that talks about a sort of planned obsolescence scheme to such cloud-based services. A planned obsolescence scheme that definitely raises an eyebrow (as well as several speculative concerns) to present and future services of similar nature. An approach that I strongly believe has its roots in the dot.com crash of the early 21st century and will continue to generate continued distrust to products offered “in the cloud” for free or with no visible catches for use of their service.

Another thing that hit my attention a couple of days ago was the Ransonware exploit aimed primarily at iPhone users in Australia and New Zealand; though I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before it makes its way to the States (and the rest of the world). Lifehacker (via Gizmodo) has a detailed article covering this rather annoying (and for some, frightening) exploit including on how to overcome it. Fortunately for me, while it might be moderately easy to hack my KeePass master password, all the other passwords that I use on the Internet are 16 – 22 character alpha-numeric-special character monstrosities and unique for each and every service that I have; with only a handful of them being interconnected.

Further, I just did a quick check after re-reviewing the information I passed on here and it seems that I forgot to log in my phone to iCloud. Which means that until I log in my phone to it — it’s pretty safe from being exploited. So it’s one less thing to be worried about until such time as the perpetrator of this exploit is removed from the system (read: arrested).

I don’t understand Moe’s patterns at all. Up until the one day where it was warmer than usual — Moe was slowly changing over from cloying and clingy to completely standoffish and aloof. He didn’t want to be touched, picked up, petted, given attention (other than his usual chasing the little red laser dot around the kitchen). Then when it hit the low 80s F/26+ C, he wanted positively nothing to do with playing or me. Then the day after when the temperatures turned raw and colder than usual (52 F/11 C was the high for that day), it wasn’t until I simply held up so that he could straddle over my shoulder did is personality change to being cuddly. Now that the days are once again Spring-like and comfortable has he become completely clingy, cloying and wanting. Through most of the morning he’s been crying for attention and only until I took my quick little power nap shortly after lunch (and him sleeping on me) have I gotten a moment’s rest from his neediness. What’s worse is I’m sure that when it warms up again in the week (or so) to come it’ll be back to his being standoffish and aloof.

I can only attribute his patterns of personality to my being like the third owner in a chain of them. That the first owner was the person that he completely imprinted on, and everyone since are just the consolation prize (so to speak) for his needs. Sure, the plus side is that he rarely if ever hides from me and is beginning to run to the door when I come home. But everyone else? Gone in three seconds to becoming a lump under the covers in the bedroom. And anything else? Well it’s all dependent on what he needs and when. If he doesn’t need anything, off he goes to sleep on the bed, or some cubby away from the noise and occasional chaos of the neighborhood.

Overall though — he’s good and eating his fair share for the spring and summer; drinking where he can. I gave up trying to break him of licking the bathtub faucet for his water. If it’s complete shut off, he’ll drink from his bowl, if not — I can see his ass sticking out from the rim of the tub and the gentle cat-like licking of the faucet. He’s more stubborn than Cricket ever was (and she was a Japanese Bobtail) and nothing will break him of what he’d rather do.

As for me, I spent yesterday helping my aunt with her laptop problem.. And by problem I mean non-issue for me. Seems that she wanted to use her laptop in peace and quiet somewhere in her house and thought that the Internet connectivity was broken. But sitting there yesterday while she had my mother helping her with filling out this incredibly long medical form, she handed me her case and said, “take this home and fix it when you can…” Which translates in my speak as, “fix it immediately”, I plugged it in, turned it on, got to desktop and saw immediately what the problem was: with long periods of being unplugged and the battery losing all charge — she didn’t realize that the Wireless Controls were shut off. Showing her how to turn if on (and changing the icon from orange to blue), that problem was fixed. Well that and a quick explanation of how laptops work.

I’ve had more than a few rage-like flare-ups/episodes since the last journal entry; of which I’m not sure whether it’s from the weird and sometimes troubling dreams that I’ve had (and fortunately for me, I’ve tried not to remember them when I reached full consciousness)… Whether it’s because I’ve been suppressing some of my anger on other things (like the douchey people on the Hill during the warmer parts of the day, Tammany Hall at closing time)… Or whether it’s all of the above. It hasn’t reached a point where I had the shakes from the rage; I was able to cool it off quickly enough when I realized what was happening — but it was enough for me to realize I wasn’t letting go again.

Sure, I know… two steps forward and one step back. I know it happens when something has been ingrained for as long as it had been with me. And two years of this sort of bullshit happening practically every day is more than long enough for it to be ingrained with me. I’m not scolding myself, at all in this. I’m not holding myself in guilt because it happened. I had a moment of guilt that it happened, sure… Though I worked through that peacefully. Right now, reflecting back on it, I just wonder why and what the causes of that were…

More on that the next time it’ll happen (and I’m sure it will).

Since my last journal entry, I’ve also watched Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit, The Lego Movie and RoboCop. The Lego Movie was a combination of commercialism and camp… of things children would love and humour also aimed at adults. While I felt the overpowering need to ignore Will Ferrell when his ugly mug showed up on the screen during the last portions of the film, at least he wasn’t the complete ass-hat that I loathed from his raping Land of the Lost or his pedantic and asinine attempts at humour in movies like Elf and Step Brothers. Had he turned into that sort of comic, I guarantee I wouldn’t have watched that movie to the end.

RoboCop on the other hand, while I was entertained by the movie on the whole, the jury’s still out as to whether or not I ultimately enjoyed the film. For one, I found the angstiness of the Murphy’s plot to be too… heavy handed. Heavy handed to the point where I was muttering on more than one occasion, “enough of this, already…” along with making the usual gestures of wanting to slit my wrists at how angsty it was. Once the movie shook itself off of the angst and started focusing on the action, it moved along at a decent clip. Michael Keaton out-douched Ronny Cox from the original movie and reminded me of the “shit don’t stick to me” attitude that the late Steve Jobs had during many of this press conferences when defending Apple/Mac products. Gary Oldman was almost Knight in Shining Armour as he was in the revamped Batman franchise and was a welcome sight being goody-goody about the morals surrounding the creation of Murphy-come-RoboCop. And finally, Joel Kinnaman… There’s something oddly familiar about his looks that makes me think of another actor. Looking through his filmography, I realize that I’ve seen none of the works he’s been in… But that lingering déjà vu feeling I get seeing him in the Robo-suit keeps haunting me. On the whole though, the black armour that RoboCop/Murphy was given, Jay Baruchel as an PR-executive and the vigilantism of the three corrupt cops that had turned Murphy into RoboCop was enough to keep me from fully immersing.

And finally… worst than last week’s watching The Legend of Hercules with crayon-chewing Kellan Lutz, goes to Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit. Man the awful things I had to say to family and friends on that atrocity and celluloid abomination!!! Since watching that awful piece of work, I’ve come to the conclusion that Kenneth Branagh should either direct or star in a film; but not both. Branagh should also not be allowed to make action film because he simply sucks the life out of them. In the first forty minutes there was entirely too much blah and not enough action followed by my ability to suspend disbelief was completely shattered and destroyed because everything established within the CIA between analyst and operative was completely thrown out the window.

“But he had Marine training…” naysayers would say.

“Analysts have desk jobs. Operative are like James Bond. They are trained that way for many more months than analysts are in order to work in the field. What Ryan did transitioning between the two doesn’t work for this particular story….”

Further the terrorist against the whole country message is tired. It’s been overplayed. Beaten to death and like a dead horse continues to be beaten… Give it up… Patriotism on this level is two-dimensional. There are bigger issues with the world, and the USA being saved constantly and is the bastion of Freedom sounded as badly as the soundtrack picked for this film.

Did I watch it to the end? Absolutely? Did I take a million breaks when the story took another leap into the unbelievable? You betcha. Do I want the time I wasted watching this film back? Absolutely.

Well that’s it for the time being. I’m off to have the rest of my coffee; iced. And perhaps contemplate something to eat for supper. Until the next time.